The Drabblecast Audio Fiction Podcast

In the place where I was born, stones had been used to mark boundaries for four hundred years. We harrowed stones up in fields, turned them up in roadcuts. We built the foundations of houses from stones, dug around and between them. We made stone walls, and our greatest poet wrote poems about those walls and their lichen-speckled granite. The gift of glaciers, and the wry joke of farmers. "She'll grow a ton and a half an acre, between the stones." The people who lived there before mine made tools of them, made weights and currency. This episode of the Drabblecast opens with a Drabblenews story about the resurrection of an ancient human vaginal yeast once used to make a fermented drink fittingly dubbed "vag yeast moonshine" by Norm. In the drabble, while Shouting Cloud has correctly read the signs predicting the return of the Sky Father, there isn't only one – and they are armed and dangerous. The feature explores the need to adapt to new environments. Humans have fled a ruined Earth to find themselves on a planet where they can't digest the plants or communicate with the oddly amiable natives, and their preserved supplies are dwindling. While reflecting on memories from a visit to Africa on Earth and desperate to discover some clue about how to survive, a xenobiologist risks exhuming the corpse of a juvenile native for dissection even though one of her colleagues was brutally slaughtered for doing so. When she is discovered by a group of natives, she is sure she will be murdered as well, only to find herself forced into nursing from one of them. As she drinks its milk, she realizes that the intelligent natives, after dissecting rather than slaughtering her colleague to learn about human biology and digestion, have likely theorized that the microscopic flora in their milk may allow humans to finally be able to digest the alien crops on their planet.

I don't know if this is the same tape as last time, because They keep moving things around and stealing them. I don't know who does it. It may be the staff here, or my own family when they come to visit, or the aliens, but somebody's always doing it -- taking my glasses, my tapes, my TV remote, anything I put down for a second. I don't think it's the other residents. I used to think that, but I don't think they're that organized. Some of them are a bit senile, to tell you the truth... In this episode of the Drabblecast, Catherine is an 89-year-old nursing home resident plagued by someone who keeps taking her things and a son and daughter-in-law who treat her like a child. When she gets a visit from an alien named Tom, they strike a bargain: He will tell her who the thief is if she tells him the secret to longevity. His race does not live to old age, they die after reaching breeding age and having children (the human equivalent of about 40 years old); he is trying to learn how to extend their lifespan. Despite her insistence that there is no secret he doesn't believe her, but does tell her no one is taking her stuff – she just can't keep track of it. Catherine thinks he is lying because he didn't like that she didn't have an answer for him and becomes convinced that the people who are taking her stuff are actually looking for alien, looking for clues about their existence among her possessions. She makes a tape recording of her experience, hoping that when they inevitably take the tape and listen to it they will realize they have no reason to continue stealing from her since she will freely tell them everything she knows. In the drabble, a young girl wakes up with a new set of stitches and doesn't stop searching until she finds the quarter the kidney fairy has left her.

Another child was born in the great Mother, excreted from the tube protruding from the Nursery ceiling. It landed with a wet thud on the organic bedding underneath. Papa shuffled over to the birthing tube and picked the baby up in his wizened hands. He stuck two fingers in the baby's mouth to clear the cavity of oil and mucus, and then slapped its bottom. The baby gave a faint cry. "Ah," said Papa. "She lives..." This episode of the Drabblecast is about awakenings and transformations. In the drabble, not all its memories of a man's life make sense to an undersea creature. In the feature, generations ago the survivors of a ruined world struck a deal with their Mother, an enormous creature merging flesh and technology. They live symbiotically within her, helping her do everything from navigating to digesting food while in return she provides them safety and sustenance. When Mother is injured beyond repair, starved for both food and fresh genetic material, she passes on a dying gift.

Allan Thermoose's wife is in love with a blade of grass. It's the 375th blade directly even with the crack in the third slab of sidewalk east of the mailbox. The blade gets full sun all day, and Allan, a stickler for lawn maintenance, is careful to water it, along with all the others, for approximately thirty minutes per day, moving the sprinkler three times to ensure even water distribution. He occasionally counts the residual droplets left on the tufts of grass fifteen minutes after he shuts off the water. If he's not happy with the results, he repeats the process until he's positive his lawn has had enough to drink. This episode of the Drabblecast is concerned with strange love. In the drabble, a mother's last thoughts are for her son as the mower's blades cut her down but pass over him. In the feature, Allan Thermoose's wife falls in love with a blade of grass. Her behavior increasingly unconventional includes: standing outside staring at the lawn, forbidding Allan to cut that blade, sleeping outside on the lawn, and dressing up for the blade. It soon becomes clear that action must be taken.

The first 'Go to Hell!' The Angels did say To certain poor bastards On Valentine's Day; 'Go to Hell! We do our job well! It ain't who you are It’s what you can sell…' On Valentine's Day, The World demands Love With a milk-chocolate fist In a red tin-foil glove. Romance is featured in this episode of the Drabblecast. In the drabble, falling in love with a werewolf causes problems for a vampire. In the feature, on Valentine's Day a freshly engaged couple stops at a tavern for dinner. They are seated among a collection of deities representing various traditions and religions who lead them to question their relationship, as well as the meaning of love and marriage at all among the horrors of the cosmos.

The six of them meet for the first time in front of the sagging clapboard house where Everett Montrose was born. All are tired, with hollows under their eyes from driving or riding buses for days. Even so, they greet each other with shy, relieved smiles. Few words are said; most seem unsure of how to speak to each other. There are some handshakes, even a quick hug or two, but these interactions are awkward and all soon turn their attention to their reason for coming here. They all carry with them small pieces of Everett Montrose, and all instinctively touch the fragments as they look to the house. This episode of the Drabblecast opens with an announcement that the Kickstarter goal for Norm's new CD has been reached. The theme of the trifecta is Southern justice. In Whit Carlson's Trespasser, chronic bellyacher Whit Carlson makes a complaint to the sheriff about a clown fishing on his property. In The Six Pieces of Everett Montrose, six strangers meet in front of the house where Everett Montrose was born and where his brother still lives. Each has been compelled to return the bone fragment he or she has found. In Boll Weevil, a man drives home through a plague of boll weevils to face the end of the world. Whether they are a bioweapon, a biblical plague, or aliens, the boll weevils have survived the winter and started breeding wildly, injecting their babies into people with each bite. After containment and quarantine have failed to stop them, a scorched earth policy is about to be enacted. The episode concludes with a bit by Hearty White reading a poetry submission rejection letter.

We stayed on the path.  The light seemed to drip down from the canopy of the woods like rain.  The going was easy, especially if we didn't try to look at the path but let our feet find their own way. Then through the trees I saw their fire... This episode of the Drabblecast examines humanity through anthropomorphism. In the drabble, peacefully grazing sheep get unexpected visitors who reveal that the sheep are not exactly what they seem. In the feature, when bears discover fire, stop hibernating, and begin populating highway medians in the southern US, their changing behavior highlights how a family's members react to changes in their own lives with varying degrees of acceptance and grace.

"You don't have to talk like that to us, mister," I said. "We know town-speak just fine." The man with the hat put it back on his head and smiled with a hint of embarrassment. "Sorry, folks. Sometimes it helps, you know, smooth the way." That man with the computer was lurking by the corner of our porch, holding it up and aiming some kind of camera at the eaves. He steered a pair of laser beams from one end to the other. I figured I'd let him do what he was doing if I didn't see any harm. "Smooth the way for what?" I asked. I knew what was coming next, what was always coming: talk of imminent domain, of making way for progress. "Something exciting," he said, lifting up a foot onto the lowest step. "Opportunity of a lifetime..." This episode of the Drabblecast explores science of the future. In the drabble, a lab rat learns to speak but still cannot talk the scientists studying him out of his eventual dissection despite their similarities. In the feature, government agents try to convince a family of aging farmers to join the rest of humanity by being uploaded into the singularity, a virtual world where everyone can lead any life they can dream up. No one can be left behind..

In some parts of the world -- Austria, Croatia, Hungary -- they still remember. They understand. You can't have something bright without having something dark to balance it. If you've got St. Nicholas, you also need the Krampus... This episode of the Drabblecast opens with Norm's reflections on the holidays, Santa Claus, and the origins of flying reindeer. In the drabble, the mayhem of a large family's holiday dinner leads to a darkly humorous tragedy. In the feature, an unsavory petty criminal has a chance encounter with a dying old man who confides that years ago Santa bestowed upon him a miracle, a wish, to teach the true meaning of Christmas. Unfortunately, as they both learn, it comes with a catch..

It is three thousand light years to the Vatican. Once, I believed that space could have no power over faith, just as I believed that the heavens declared the glory of God's handiwork. Now I have seen that handiwork, and my faith is sorely troubled. I stare at the crucifix that hangs on the cabin wall above the Mark VI Computer, and for the first time in my life I wonder if it is no more than an empty symbol. This episode of the Drabblecast concerns creation and destruction. In the drabble, creation after creation questions its creator's role in its existence before wandering off into cyberspace. In the feature, a Jesuit priest, also an astrophysicist, aboard a space exploration vessel struggles with a crisis of faith. While investigating the remains of a planetary system destroyed when its sun went supernova, the crew unexpectedly discovers one planet that was distant enough to survive the explosion. There, they find an enormous vault containing the complete records of an advanced civilization that, realizing years ahead of time that their sun was going to explode, hoped to preserve their history and culture for someone to find so that their existence and destruction would not be in vain.

I can't fly faster than a speeding bullet. I can't lift a car. I can't climb slick surfaces with my bare hands or breath underwater or stop time. All I can do is change blue things to yellow. I didn't bother to buy a cape or a spandex suit like the others. I just bought a blouse and some slacks and went into interior design... This episode of the Drabblecast explores the idea of being happy with yourself as a unique individual. In the drabble, the titular imaginary runner is invented as part of a game to pass time in the car, but meets a tragic end. In the feature, a woman with a minor Gift (turning blue things yellow) in a world of high-powered superheroes struggles to find a niche.

Once, at the beginning, you asked why you were brought here. This is what I told you: your parents made a deal. I would rid them of their plague of rats, and they would pay me. I cleared the town of pests, easily done, and returned for my payment. They laughed at me and tried to send me away with less than they promised. Money is not important. Deals are. The theme of this episode of the Drabblecast is fairy tale child abduction. In David is Six, David cannot wait to be seven. In his desperation, he strikes a bargain with a fairy that appears to him as a talking toad and is taken to the fairy queen. The Best Boy, The Brightest Boy picks up where the Pied Piper of Hamlin left off, following the children and the Piper into his kingdom under the mountain where after a series of cruel games and tests, only one boy remains alive. He becomes the Piper's apprentice. In Broken, a father stumbles upon a fairy in the act of exchanging his disabled child for her own enchanted brood. A heart-breaking decision follows.

James Kennedy had stared at his sock drawer for a good ten minutes that first morning, dumbfounded. He'd never seen it so neat, and he didn't remember doing it. But there they were: threadbare, but tidy and folded... Another Drabblecast doubleheader special, featuring two stories from from author John P. Murphy. Help support Norm's New CD: The Esoteric Order of Sherman. Pre-order the Order. Episode Sponsor: The Flash Pulp Podcast, thrice weekly pulp stories for the modern age.

This, of course, is what comes of being overly friendly with strange mangoes. One day you're a wide-eyed virgin, with nary a care in the world; the next, you find yourself most unexpectedly and all but inexplicably burdened in a manner that afflicts virgins only once every two thousand years or so, to the best of your understanding. It isn't fair, but folk tales rarely are to young maidens — this is the first thing that you really ought to have known. This week's episode of the Drabblecast podcast begins with Norm imploring listeners to chip in for the production of his highly anticipated second CD. The Drabble is Déjà vu, by Ben Parker, concerns old magics and old memories. The feature is a change of pace story, Bearing Fruit by Nikki Alfar, in which a naive lass learns of life and her burgeoning womanhood upon unexpected contact with the supernatural. The show closes with classic bbardle Radioactive Runaways. Help support Norm's New CD: The Esoteric Order of Sherman. Agree to contribute, guarantee yourself a copy - Pre-order the Order. Classic Norm Sherman penned and performed "bbardles," done up proper with the full studio treatment, in a package featuring art work from man of mundane mystery Bo Kaier.

Now if we, like those characters in recent movies, discovered specific clues in the world around us suggesting that we do in fact live in a simulation, we would of course consider those clues carefully to see what they say about how we should live our lives. -- Robin Hanson Norm begins this episode of the Drabblecast with an introduction to the new and improved Drabblecast.org, and thanks the many contributors who made this possible. The Drabble by John Murphy remembers a simpler time in video games, though a time not free of consequence. The feature by Aubrey Hirsch provides, as described in the title, a didactic set of rules for living in a simulation (a universe constructed especially for us). Episode Sponsor: You Shall Never Know Security by J.R. Hamantaschen.