Summary: <p><strong>Parents who were emotionally available, perceptive, and responsive to you, to your needs and mental states, are a great gift! They tend to provide you with attachment that is secure. This is an excellent foundation for a healthy emotional life. </strong></p><br><p>Parents who were <strong>emotionally unavailable</strong>, or inconsistently available, perceptive or response to your needs, and tended to intrude their own states of mind onto you as a tiny child, could create what is called a "resistant, ambivalent, or anxious attachment" to others. This is an excellent breeding ground for an unhealthy emotional life. And, in particular,<strong> sets the stage for personality distortions </strong>in later life.</p><br><p>So, that person whom you met when they were an adult--a partner, ex, parent, co-worker--was already pre-disposed to their outwardly self-important, prone to pomposity, self-adoration, and annoyingly entitled behaviors long before you can along.</p><br><p>You can't change them.</p><p>They don't want to change. T</p><p>hey see no need to change.</p><br><p>Got it?</p><p>Good!</p><p>Let yourself off the hook.</p><p>------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!</p><p>If you <strong>want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships</strong>. Join my Optimize Circles now.</p><p>Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.</p><p>WOW! Join now. <a href="http://optimizecircles.com/" target="_blank">OptimizeCircles.com </a> Only $5 for the first month at any level.</p><p>----------------------------------------------------------------------</p><br><p><strong>HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:</strong></p><ul> <li>What attachment theory is</li> <li>How <strong>attachment theory </strong>helps explain the basic nature of people in relationships</li> <li>S<strong>ecure attachment</strong> is healthy</li> <li> <strong>Avoidant attachment</strong> is dismissive</li> <li> <strong>Anxious,attachment</strong>, <strong>ambivalent attachment </strong>is preoccupied</li> <li> <strong>Disorganized attachment</strong> is unresolved</li> <li>Why a Hijackal's behavior is not your fault</li> <li>Why <strong>you cannot change a #Hijackal</strong> </li> </ul><p><br></p><p>You'll find that in <a href="https://www.relationshiphelpnetwork.com/" target="_blank">many other episodes of this podcast,</a> and on <a href="https://www.youtube.com/forrelationshiphelp" target="_blank">my YouTube channel,</a> too.</p><p>Enjoy my other podcast, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, <a href="http://relationshiphelpnetwork.com/" target="_blank">here</a>, or wherever you like to find your podcasts.</p><br><p>Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, <strong>grab my</strong></p><p><strong>FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal®</strong> at <a href="http://hijackals.com/" target="_blank">Hijackals.com</a> . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!</p><br><p>If you need help with any part of the journey with--and from--a #Hijackal, I'm here for you. <strong>Let's talk soon. I make it easy and accessible for you to have your </strong><a href="https://www.forrelationshiphelp.com/join" target="_blank"><strong>first one-hour session with me for only $97.</strong></a></p><br><p>Make positive changes NOW.</p><br><p>Big hugs,</p><p>Rhoberta</p><br><p><strong>Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,</strong></p><p><strong>The Relationship Help Doctor</strong></p><p><a href="http://transformingrelationship.com/" target="_blank">TransformingRelationship.com</a> or <a href="https://www.forrelationshiphelp.com/" target="_blank">ForRelationshipHelp.com</a></p><br><p>P.S. Subscribe to my <a href="https://forrelationshiphelp.com/subscribe" target="_blank"><strong>newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.</strong></a></p><br><p><strong>WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?</strong></p><p><strong>You can have that, and:</strong></p><ul> <li>access to my <strong>Optimize Circles</strong> </li> <li>my <strong>21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy</strong> program</li> <li>monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two</li> <li>at least monthly insightful videos and access to the library</li> </ul><p><strong>You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!</strong></p><p><a href="http://optimizecircles.com/" target="_blank">OptimizeCircles.com</a></p><br><p><strong>CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:</strong></p><p><strong>Website: </strong><a href="http://transformingrelationship.com/" target="_blank">TransformingRelationship.com</a></p><p><strong>Podcasts: </strong><a href="http://relationshiphelpnetwork.com/" target="_blank">RelationshipHelpNetwork.com</a></p><p><strong>Facebook: </strong><a href="https://facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor" target="_blank">RelationshipHelpDoctor</a></p><p><strong>Twitter: </strong><a href="https://app.pippa.io/shows/5ac9a352ef7a4c2376786ec9/episodes/Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler" target="_blank">Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler</a></p><p><strong>LinkedIn: </strong><a href="https://linkedin.com/in/RhobertaShaler" target="_blank">LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler</a></p><p><strong>Instagram: </strong><a href="https://instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler" target="_blank">Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler</a></p><p><strong>Pinterest: </strong><a href="https://www.pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor" target="_blank">Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor</a></p><br><p><strong>YouTube</strong>: <a href="https://youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp" target="_blank">YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp</a></p><br><p><a href="http://www.mentalhealthnewsradionetwork.com/our-shows/save-your-sanity/" target="_blank"><strong>You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. </strong></a>That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.</p><br><p>#attachment #attachmenttheory #changeanarcissist #changeasociopath #saveyoursanity #Hijackals #verbalabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #toxicpeople</p><p>Support this show <a target="_blank" rel="payment" href="http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist">http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist</a>.</p><br><hr><p style="color:grey;font-size:0.75em;"> See <a style="color:grey;" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" href="https://acast.com/privacy">acast.com/privacy</a> for privacy and opt-out information.</p>
