Summary: <a href="http://therecoveryshow.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Family-1.png"></a>Are you the sober parent in an alcoholic family? What challenges have you faced? How has recovery helped you?<br> <br> * What challenges do you face as the sober parent?<br> <br> * Keeping your children safe<br> * Making decisions about how to parent. What happens when you disagree?<br> * Taking everything on.<br> * Anger, rage and anxiety.<br> * “Parenting” your spouse?<br> * Jealousy/resentment of the “fun parent.”<br> * Attributing all “problems” to alcoholism.<br> * Decision-making.<br> * Not know what “normal” is. Or what “healthy” is.<br> * Trying to parent together when you don’t feel strong in your marriage… or when its actually breaking/broken.<br> * Protecting anonymity while being honest on medical and education paperwork for my children<br> * Traveling for work and setting expectations for care of our kids knowing I really have no control over whether or not my wishes/expectations are upheld<br> * Not having control. Allowing kids to ride in the car or even just be at home alone with the alcoholic parent.<br> <br> <br> * How did you react to these before recovery?<br> <br> * Resentment – LOTS<br> * Snide, snarky comments to spouse, spitefulness<br> * Anger, particularly misdirected anger<br> * Guilt and self-loathing<br> * Exhaustion<br> * Apathy<br> * Depression<br> * All or nothing attitude/perspective<br> * Relentless pursuit of “agreement” or seeing my viewpoint<br> * Lack of trust<br> <br> <br> * How has recovery changed the way in which you face these challenges?<br> <br> * Living one day/one hour/one minute at a time.<br> * Setting boundaries<br> * Focus on myself… self-care, self-inventory, stay in my hula hoop<br> * Crazy thought train doesn’t stay as long<br> * Awareness of my anxiety and anger<br> * Learning to pause.<br> * Not as hard on myself<br> * I don’t always feel compelled to make decisions right away<br> * I’m learning to let go of outcomes<br> * I’m learning the difference between true issues/problems and simply unmet expectations<br> * I apply program to my actions on a daily basis (first things first, how important is it, HALT, etc.)<br> <br> <br> * What is a typical day like now?<br> <br> * More loving behavior with my spouse.<br> * More patience<br> * Make amends to my kids whenever necessary<br> * I hear from my Higher Power through my children<br> * More loving and accepting of myself and more compassionate toward my spouse, which creates a more peaceful environment<br> * Imperfect – some days i feel like i’m right back where i started, but that doesn’t last as long<br> <br> <br> * How do you face the fears and worries that you have for your children?<br> <br> * How do my children see me? My spouse?<br> * How can I be the parent my children need? The parent they want?<br> * How can I not transmit my resentment and anger at my spouse to my children?<br> * But: fear of what’s to come in my children’s lives.<br> <br> <br> * What tools do I want to give to my children?<br> <br> * “Pause”<br> * God Box (kind words, deep breaths)<br> * Acceptance of their emotions<br> * A parent who is approachable and thoughtfully responds rather than reacts<br> <br> <br> <br> Upcoming topics include parenting an alcoholic/addict child, and how recovery has changed the way in which you are a parent. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email <a title="Send us mail" href="mailto:feedback@therecoveryshow.com">feedback@therecoveryshow.com</a> with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.<br> <br> Music from the show<br> Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young: Teach Your Children<br> <br> David Haas: The God of Second Chances<br> <br> <br> <br>
