Summary: <a href="http://therecoveryshow.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/8584936014_f209919c4d_b.jpg"></a>Do you try to reduce the consequences of your loved one’s choices and actions? Do you have trouble enforcing consequences on undesirable behavior by others?<br> con·se·quence<br> ˈkänsikwəns<br> noun<br> <br> * a result or effect of an action or condition.<br> <br> synonyms: result, upshot, outcome, effect, repercussion, ramification, corollary, concomitant, aftermath, after effect;<br> <br> * Setting Consequences<br> <br> * I have to be willing to enforce them.<br> * They should be realistic and relate to the behavior.<br> * They should impact the other person more than me!<br> * What is the difference between “threat” and “consequences”?<br> * When I set a boundary and consequences for violating that boundary, am I attempting to control or manipulate another’s behavior?<br> <br> <br> * Consequences of OTHER people’s behavior – Is NOT my business <br> <br> * When I “do for others what they are capable of doing for themselves”, I set myself up as enabling, and deny them the natural consequences, good or bad, of their actions. Resentment, disappointment, anger…<br> * When I try to instill consequences, punishment, discipline, I often exacerbate an issue and set myself up yet again, for resentment, disappointment, anger…<br> * A definition of “enabling” that I learned is “getting between someone and the consequences of their actions.” (see Courage to Change January 5, June 16)<br> <br> <br> * Consequences of MY behavior – IS my business<br> <br> * When I take care of myself, …<br> <br> * Feel better<br> * Act better<br> * Cope better<br> <br> <br> * When I do not take care of myself I…<br> <br> * Blame<br> * Resent<br> * Slip into old behavior<br> * Get sick, angry, lonely, tired<br> <br> <br> <br> <br> * Mentioned or implied in several slogans including Live and Let Live, Let Go and Let God, One Day at a Time<br> * Related topics – CONTROL, ENABLING, RESENTMENT, DETACHMENT, BOUNDARIES<br> <br> Resources<br> We read from at least some of these articles.<br> <br> * <a href="http://al-anon.org/newcomers/al-anon-faces-alcoholism/">Al-Anon faces Alcoholism</a><br> * <a href="http://alanon.activeboard.com/t45139271/unacceptable-behavior-and-consequences/">Unacceptable behavior and consequences</a> (forum thread)<br> * <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-verge/201411/natural-consequences">Natural Consequences</a> (Psychology Today)<br> * <a href="https://www.promises.com/articles/family-and-parenting/healthy-boundaries-addicts-alcoholics/">How to set Healthy Boundaries with Alcoholics and Addicts</a><br> * <a href="http://alanon.activeboard.com/t64103672/natural-consequences/">Natural Consequences</a> (forum thread)<br> * <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/201204/50-quotes-consequences">50 Quotes on Consequences</a> (Psychology Today)<br> * <a href="https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/consequences">Consequences</a> on Brainy Quotes<br> <br> Our topic for next week is new topic. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email <a title="Send us mail" href="mailto:feedback@therecoveryshow.com">feedback@therecoveryshow.com</a> with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.<br> <br> Music from the show<br> Ringo Starr: The No No Song<br> https://youtu.be/DZN_8M4OpMo<br> TLC: Waterfalls<br> <br> Camila Cabello<br> https://youtu.be/5ZAC2Ns7uAk<br> <br>
