Summary: Attachment and Impact on Adult Relationships A direct link to the counseling CEU course based on this podcast can be found at https://allceus.com/podcastCEUs Objectives ~ Briefly define attachment theory ~ Learn about the impact of attachment ~ Identify triggers for attachment behaviors ~ Explore the relationship between ACEs and attachment issues ~ Learn about adult attachment theory ~ Examine how attachment impacts emotional regulation and vice versa ~ Identify ways to help people become more securely attached. What is Attachment Theory? ~ Attachment behaviors, such as crying and searching, were adaptive responses to separation from with a primary attachment figure someone who provides support, protection, and care. ~ Erikson postulated the periods of trust vs. mistrust, and autonomy vs. shame and doubt during this same time period ~ Maintaining proximity to an attachment figure via attachment behaviors increases the chance for survival ~ From this initial relationship we learn ~ How scary or safe the world is. ~ What it is like to be loved. What is Attachment Theory? ~ The attachment system essentially “asks” the following fundamental question: Is the attachment figure nearby, accessible, and attentive? ~ If the answer is “yes,” the person feels loved, secure, and confident, and, behaviorally, is likely to explore his or her environment, interact with others. ~ If the answer is “no,” the person experiences anxiety and, is likely to exhibit attachment behaviors ranging from simple visual searching to active following and vocal signaling on the other ~ These behaviors continue until either ~ The person is able to reestablish a desirable level of physical or psychological proximity to the attachment figure ~ Until the person “wears down.” Impact of Attachment ~ How loved or unloved we feel as children deeply affects the formation of our self-esteem and self-acceptance. It shapes how we seek love and whether we feel part of life or more like an outsider. ~ As we individuate we often again seek approval. Does it Stop After Infancy ~ Maybe yes, maybe no. ~ Consider the child that regularly did not get needs met. ~ Persisted with attachment seeking behaviors ~ Those behaviors were eventually rewarded (so they will happen again) or not, so the child stops seeking comfort from others. ~ How does this impact ~ Self-esteem? ~ Trust in others? ~ Future relationships? Does it Stop After Infancy ~ Maybe yes, maybe no. ~ Consider the adult who got needs met as a child, but in adult relationships regularly does not get needs met. ~ What role do significant others play in the survival of the adult human? ~ Think about Erikson’s stage of intimacy vs. isolation ~ How does not getting needs met impact ~ Self-esteem? ~ Trust in others? ~ Future relationships? Adult Attachment Theory ~ (1987) Hazan and Shaver noted that the relationship between infants and caregivers and the relationship between adult romantic partners share the following features: ~ both feel safe when the other is nearby and responsive ~ both engage in close, intimate, bodily contact ~ both feel insecure when the other is inaccessible ~ both share discoveries with one another ~ both play with one another's facial features and exhibit a mutual fascination and preoccupation with one another ~ both engage in “baby talk” Adult Attachment Theory ~ If adult romantic relationships are attachment relationships, then: ~ We should observe the same kinds of individual differences in adult relationships that Ainsworth observed in infant-caregiver relationships. ~ The way adult relationships “work” should be similar to the way infant-caregiver relationships work. ~ The same kinds of factors that facilitate exploration in children (i.e., Having a responsive caregiver) should facilitate exploration among adults (i.e., Having a responsive partner). ~ Whether an adult is secure or insecure in his or her adult relationship
