The Art of Meaningful Conversation
Summary: Small talk only gets you so far. If you want to improve your career, your relationships, and your life, you have to move past small talk to something deeper. Today we interview two experts on the art of meaningful conversation.<br> Mollie Kinsman Khine and Taylor Buonocore are the inventors of Convers(ate), a game designed to spark conversation.<br> The Lost Art of Conversation<br> Why have our conversations become so “surface,” often rarely moving beyond mundane things like the weather or what the local sports team is up to? Partly thanks to things like texting and social media; neither medium is conducive to meaningful conversation.<br> Maybe also because people have become more and more contentious when their opinions differ. We used to be able to have a civil, meaningful conversation about topics we disagreed on but now we either avoid those kinds of topics because the conversation degenerates into a shouting match or we’re simply too afraid to bring them up at all.<br> Jeffersonian Dinners<br> Thomas Jefferson hosted conversation focused dinners. A small number of guests from all over the country (which was a bit smaller then) would meet to discuss one topic. The guests spoke one at a time, everyone listened and participated, and the goal was that each guest would learn something and take it home and share it with those in their community.<br> If you want to host your own <a href="http://www.thegenerositynetwork.com/resources/jeffersonian-dinners/">Jeffersonian Dinner</a>, these are the rules;<br> <br> * 8-14 guests from diverse backgrounds. You don’t want a roomful of doctors from Michigan. You want a mix of races, careers, income levels, genders, and political affiliations.<br> * One topic. It can be anything but should be something that will have some relevance to each guest. The topic should be revealed before the dinner so the guests will have some time to ponder it and what they might like to discuss.<br> * Five to seven questions that will help move the conversation forward.<br> * A facilitator to keep things on topic and flowing along.<br> * Food and drinks. Neither have to be fancy, you can order some pizzas and buy a few bottles of wine. The food is not the focus of the evening.<br> <br> Each guest starts by sharing a little about themselves and how the topic is personal to them. Everyone is allowed to speak without being interrupted but the facilitator may need to prevent some of the guests from dominating the conversation and not giving others a chance to speak.<br> While there is some structure, in the beginning, the rest of the conversation is allowed to flow naturally.<br> At the end of the night, each guest shares something they’ve learned and can propose a potential topic for the next dinner.<br> The Game<br> This all sounds great, you want to host your own Jeffersonian Dinner! But it can be a little intimidating. What if you can’t think of a topic, or can’t think of any good follow up questions? That’s why Convers(ate) was invented.<br> There are 28 topic cards in each box; some are lighthearted and some are more thoughtful. They include topics like <a href="https://www.listenmoneymatters.com/building-wealth/">wealth,</a> endurance, and parenthood. Each topic card has questions meant to explore it from different angles. The wealth card, for example, asks things like the difference between wealth and money, wealth as legacy, and how people <a href="https://www.listenmoneymatters.com/go/mint/">manage their money.</a><br> The questions aren’t random or disconnected from each other. They are designed to engage the guests on one topic but without letting the conversation get stale or repetitive.<br> <br> <br> Why Having the Right Conversations is So Important<br> Conversation generates opportunity whether it’s the opportunity to make more money, find a career you actually care about,
