9: Playing and Pausing with Dr. Kirsten Milliken, ADHD Parent, author, and ADHD Expert

Summary: I had a blast talking to my friend Dr. Kirsten Milliken. We started off doing an episode for her show, Your ADHD Life, and wrapped up with this episode of ADHD Essentials. Kirsten is a psychologist, a mother (with ADHD) of two boys (one with ADHD, one without), and an ADHD coach! So there was a lot to talk about. In today’s episode, we discuss about her journey to getting an ADHD diagnosis as an adult, her book PlayDHD, and the importance of learning how to pause when moments get heated. She also indulged me as I told her about a scavenger hunt I created for my boys that was inspired by her work. There’s a lot in this one. I hope you enjoy it!   Dr. Kirsten Milliken can be found at YourADHDLife.com. Her book, PlayDHD, can be found here.And you can contact her here.   Let me know what you think of today's episode by emailing me at Brendan@ADHDessentials.com. And, as usual, I can be found at www.ADHDessentials.com.  My blog post on how I created the scavenger hunt is here.    Show Notes   2:06     How Dr. Kirsten became diagnosed with ADHD 4:07     Missing signs of ADHD because you’re too close to them 5:11     The “ah-ha” moment of diagnosis 6:18     Professionals who “get” ADHD tend to have ADHD 6:49     Not all clinicians understand ADHD at a deep enough level 7:45     ADHD is a matter of degree 8:30     Does our distracted culture make it harder to prove ADHD is valid? 8:58     Yes. Unless you have a good metaphor 9:31     ADHD, asthma, and our distracted culture 11:23   Going back to Dr. Kirsten as a parent 11:38   ADHD adds a lot of fun! 12:01   Folks with ADHD can be frustrating for nonADHDers 12:52   Oftentimes strong emotions spread from mm to son, and vice versa 13:15   Wanting things to be better for our kids 14:03   The emotional challenges of ADHD 14:31   The movie “Up” gets Oliver down 14:58   “As a parent, I wanna fix that!” 15:17   Uncomfortable emotions mean you care 15:49   The challenge of being less emotionally reactive 16:04   Naming our emotions helps us control them 16:27   They’re not trying to upset us 16:56   “This is” vs. “You are” 17:04   PlayDHD 17:45   Brendan and Kirsten’s first meeting 18:28   Usibng play to help kids manage ADHD 19:18   The link between ADHD and play 20:01   What the doc means by play 21:03   Using play to help kids clean their room 23:00   Kirsten inspires Brendan’s scavenger hunt 23:53   The clues built the skills 25:05   Addressing social emotional needs with the hunt 26:41   You can use play to teach lids things 27:02   There’s a reason kids with ADHD can be class clowns. 27:16   “Just a doctor” 28:01   Coaching is the best model for treating ADHD 28:15   Coaching vs. Therapy 28:44   Therapy is about “fixing” yourself 29:19   Coaching is about where you want to go 30:41   Your ADHD Life 32:36   If you understand, you can help 32:47   Ending Essential 34:13   Managing the pause 35:58   Finding the pause after the reaction 37:41   Modeling the pause