10: Zerberts, Sensory Challenges, and Crayons in the Dryer with Eric Tivers, Parent with ADHD of a thrice-exceptional son
Summary: Today’s episode is a conversation with my friend Eric Tivers. Eric is an ADHD coach, and licensed clinical social worker. He’s the host of the ADHD reWired podcast, and runs the ADHD reWired adult coaching groups. But in this episode, he’s talking as a dad who has ADHD, parenting a thrice-exceptional child who is gifted, and who has autism and ADHD. We discuss the challenges of transferring skills from work to home, the role sensory stimulation plays in his life, including how overwhelming it can be, and he tells the epic tale of cleaning crayons out of his dryer. Eric can be found at www.ADHDreWired.com. You can learn more about his coaching groups at www.coachingreWired.com. And the reWired podcast can be found at www.ADHDreWired.com/podcast Let me know what you think of today's episode by emailing me at Brendan@ADHDessentials.com. As usual, I can be found at www.ADHDessentials.com. Show Notes 2:03 Hardest job he’s ever had 3:15 Son doesn’t know why he did, Dad doesn’t know why he didn’t 3:43 Planning and being “on” as dad 3:59 Son has always needed/gotten less sleep 4:34 Transitioning is hard because Eric is “state-based” 6:05 Getting home after son is in bed 6:44 Working on shifting gears 6:54 Adulting is hard 7:10 Making a dentist appointment 7:32 “ADHD is frustrating and comical at the same time.” 7:43 “…and I’m responsible for a life!” 8:13 Eric is grateful for wife and her acceptance of his ADHD 9:09 “Acceptance grows when gratitude shows up.” 9:23 Phone calls are hard 10:29 Supportive spouses supplying strategies 11:09 Filling tires and taking Adderall 11:55 The struggle to bring successful work strategies home 12:12 Environmentally-based to-do lists 12:37 Dad needs checklists and reminders for homework, too! 13:09 On the transfer of concepts from one environment to another 14:02 Generalization of concepts 14:11 Stepping back professionally from Autism work 15:24 Uncarved pumpkins 16:04 Needing a plan at home as well as at work 16:38 On trying to remember names 17:29 How to fake it when you forget a teacher’s name 18:23 Wild wife memory skills 19:00 Eric the hippy 19:21 Never enough time 20:10 Fluff only after 8pm 21:12 “Dishwasher moments” 22:04 Wandering assumptions 22:32 Undermined at the gym 23:12 Father and son podcasts and projects 23:46 Creating space for son to “let him be him” 24:05 Potty humor 24:33 Son is linguistically gifted 26:13 On Pokemon 28:05 On wrestling and rough play 28:40 Activate Zerbert-Tron 29:21 Teaching boundaries and body respect 30:13 The power and challenge of reassuring hugs 30:55 Eric opens his parenting toolbox 31:05 The row your boat strategy 31:29 Developing cues to breathe deeply 32:36 Meet them where they are, and start with sensory needs 33:40 Teach self-regulation strategies 34:45 Give Feedback with self-esteem in mind 35:42 X-Ray blankets and dentist nerves 36:14 Family visits and sensory overwhelm 37:45 Ending Essentials 38:46 Eric’s not-so proud parenting moments 42:37 Wrap-up
