PMP:085 Managing Demands, Dealing with Difficult People, and Promoting Positive Morale
Summary: When I was a boy, I loved to walk the garden where my grandparents grew summer vegetables. <br> My grandfather had an interesting way of planting tomatoes. He would dig a deep hole, scatter a small handful of fertilizer in the bottom of the hole, and then place a tomato plant in while gathering the rich soil around the plant till it was secure. Then he’d water the plant and place a bucket over it. He would alternate times when the plants were covered or open to the sun until they were well established and ready to start blossoming.<br> Creating a strong environment for learning involves a lot of care and attention. In addition to being instructional leaders, school leaders have to be aware of how we are cultivating the soil of our schools. Sometimes this requires consistently managing various demands, dealing with difficult conversations, and planting seeds of positive school culture.<br> This past week I hosted a webinar for principals over chapters 6-8 of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Principal-Matters-Updated-Expanded-Motivation/dp/154540058X/ref=redir_mobile_desktop?_encoding=UTF8&%2AVersion%2A=1&%2Aentries%2A=0" rel="noopener" target="_blank">Principal Matters: The Motivation, Courage, Action and Teamwork Needed for School Leaders</a>. In this conversation, I want to give a few tips and thoughts that may help keep these challenges in perspective.<br> If you have time to listen to the <a href="http://traffic.libsyn.com/principalmatters/PMP085.mp3" rel="noopener" target="_blank">podcast version</a> of the webinar, you will hear these points with examples. Here are some takeaways that may be helpful as you think about your own work in school leadership:<br> Part 1: Managing Demands<br> As you walk through a school, you will find teachers, students, and staff rely on you for more than just supervision or observation. People are looking for problem-solvers. In my first year as an administrator, I carried a notepad with me and tried to write down notes on every conversation I was having for follow-up.<br> I soon discovered I was spending more time do follow-up than I was helping others find their own solutions. In some ways, I was fishing for them rather than teaching them to fish. With that in mind, here are four takeaways to keep in mind when managing questions or demands:<br> 1. Give up your “Savior” complex. (It takes a team to lead a school.)<br><br> 2. Share follow-up. (If it’s important, have them write it down.)<br><br> 3. Teach others to find solutions. (Learn to “shift the monkey” as <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IUDB972/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1" rel="noopener" target="_blank">Todd Whitaker teaches</a>.)<br><br> 4. Set timers for time consuming tasks. (Your value does not equal an empty inbox. Sometimes mundane tasks like emails or reports can go faster as timed tasks.)<br> You cannot lead alone. And the sooner you realize you need a team, the better. It is easy for leaders to fall into the trap of believing their job is to save the day. That kind of mentality will lead to burnout. Instead, shift your mindset so that you approach the complex problems of your school with the idea that it will take everyone on your team to find solutions, create strong environments, and reach new goals. <br> Part 2: Dealing with Difficult People<br> It’s easy to remember hard conversations—especially ones where people lose it emotionally. No one ever learns to perfectly manage difficult conversation. But there are some ways you can shift your mindset so you learn to better manage them. Here are six tips to keep in mind:<br> 1. Make sure you’re not the difficult one.<br><br> 2. Seek to understand before being understood<br><br> 3. Be firm but friendly.<br><br> 4. Change your posture and use humor when appropriate.<br><br> 5. Agree to disagree.<br><br> 6. Consider bringing parties to the table.<br>
