Summary: This week, Sir Dave and Lord Jeremy are proud to present an all-new ROYAL GALA PERFORMANCE of SomethingWonky, produced by Baron Daniel Kaarma. The Focus Group covers Knights and Dames, Polls and Ghettos, Repeal Days and final days, planes, trains, God and an Australia learning to be compassionate to the less fortunate. (ONE ITEM IN THAT LIST IS A LIE.) Land Of Hope And Glory wipes a patriotic tear from its eye. We cheer that totally non-elitist, jolly old Englishman, Tony Abbott, as he brings back knights and dames to Australia. Even though he promised he wouldn’t. And then that story disappeared for a while. Then it came back. But what is this? Is our Lord’s Lord, John Howard, OM AC SSI PS OMG WTF BBQ, stabbing his protege in the back? Those silly rogues in the ALP can’t even do mock Lords and Ladies properly (Seriously, Sam? “Forth-hence”?) Bill Shorten hums Rule Britannia and refers to “the Royal Comedy channel” and Tony Abbott calls it “offensive” and insists on him withdrawing. *AUDIO at 1:14* But Dame Lady Baroness Bronwyn Bishop has had enough with people laughing in parliament. (Then she gets a no confidence motion to thank her for her non-partisan management of the House.) Meanwhile, Eric Abetz to establish support group for monarchists. Our old friend Jonathan Green suggests on the Drum that maybe this is just a distraction from the LNP’s “non-agenda”. Or is it from their ACTUAL agenda? Polls polls polls Checks in on South Australian, as the Advertiser put it, “chaos”, as the hung parliament loses one of the independents temporarily to sick leave Then the other independent picks the ALP and gets death threats: “When I explained the situation would be 23-23 (if Mr Brock aligned with the Liberals), no-one could form government and explained the scenarios with the situation of caretaker mode, the consequences of that for the state, the consequences for the … business community, lack of confidence, and then he had a different idea of the whole thing,” he said. “If I had sided with the Liberal side, there wouldn’t have been a government in SA, full-stop.” The Age suggests that maybe “legalisation of cannabis could be key issue in Western Australia Senate election” Where Did Newspoll Go? is astonished to see Newspoll fail to make the front page of The Australian and has no idea why. Sure, the 2PP is now 52-48 in Labor’s favour, but as the Oz pointed out in the story (when you found it), “Tony Abbott support still strong despite Arthur Sinodinos stumble: Newspoll”. By “support still strong”, they meant 50% of voters are dissatisfied, but 40% are satisfied. STRONG SUPPORT. Greens vote up 2 points, which is weird because if I recall from last week Andrew Bolt had reported they were “finished”. In The Ghetto Explores the O’Farrell government’s plan to exile poor people from the sight of rich people on Sydney’s waterfront. Apparently when the matter was in the hands of the Fiannce minister the plan was to re-house long-term residents nearby; as soon as it went to Community Services and Pru Goward, she demanded the removal of all public housing from Millers Point. Meanwhile Victoria has halved spending on public housing, now spending the least of all states and territories, leaving at least 34,000 people waiting for housing. On the plus side trained nurses commit to treating the homeless in Melbourne’s CBD And we have a look at Malcolm Turnbull’s “why did you buy a house where there was no broadband available? broadband policy Does No-one Like Malcolm is saddened to learn that Malcolm’s been rolled by Tony on the appointment of a new SBS head, begging questions as to the future of a merit-based selection process for the ABC and SBS top jobs. REPEAL DAY HAVE YOU BOUGHT A CARD Tony to slash the pay of low-paid governm
