This Prayer That Won't Let Me Go




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Summary: This passage is the gospel assigned for the 7th Sunday of Easter. In this excerpt, the writer offers us a word for word transcript of a prayer that he has somehow overheard Jesus praying. Jesus is here talking to His Heavenly Father, quite intimately reflecting on his mission. You might say that he is offering God a kind of exit interview. He explains that he understands his mission as that of making God's name known to these few who have been pulled out from the rest of the world. These are the few who would "get it." Oh right, and there was that one who was destined to be lost--speaking of Judas. The rest--well Jesus is asking the Holy Father to guard them from the Evil One and protect them--set them aside-- keep them untainted. Now, let me confess that I have been wrestling with this passage of scripture for 40 years and it won't let me go! This is the view of Jesus' followers that I grew up with as a conservative Lutheran. I remember memorizing this whole prayer of Jesus' in the King James translation. I said these phrases over and over until they started to stick--they felt like a commissioning that I wanted to receive from God, personally. I was eager to be able to report to God that I'd done exactly as God had asked of me--secretly hoping to be a pastor as good as my father was. Finally, I got it--I could recite this whole prayer, word for word and with conviction. I mean, it felt like I was carrying my mission around in my heart --ready always to give a reason for the ministry hope that lay within me. Right. I also felt that memorizing this prayer of John's was somehow like hanging a sacred amulet around my neck. It would keep me safe from heresy. It would set me apart from those not so holy--I meant the heretics and Catholics and Episcopalians and the like! I felt like my purity of intention would earn me a place as one of God's holy ones. Surely, I would earn God's pronouncement--"This is my Beloved Thomas with whom I am well pleased."