Summary: Dear readers, I shall start with a classic author's pose for the picture in today's post because I can't find anything better. My brain be fried. And not just a little fried. It be majorly fried. See, I’ve been finishing up my upcoming book that I've been working on for the past six months. And to do so, I have had to utilize all sorts of different barely-used areas in my brain to make it amazing and superb and excellent and even better than free crack at a plumbers party. After weighing heavily the pros and cons for the past few weeks (a major mental feat by itself), I’ve decided not to go through a major publisher and that I am going to self-publish it this upcoming June, in time for Father’s Day. That means I have some major work to do between then and now. You will love the book. Or I guess I should say, you will love it if you can appreciate stories in which I look like an idiot, poop my pants, and do really bone-headed things in the quest for love and happiness. You will also love it if you can appreciate the deeper corners of one of the weirdest minds ever to be opened up to the general public. In the words of one agent I have been working closely with, “Honestly, I have no idea know how you can admit this kind of personal stuff, but I absolutely love reading it.” It will not be a prescriptive book like my first book, The Real Dad Rules. It also won’t be me attempting to heavily enlighten and guide others when I don’t really have all that much experience yet in what I’m talking about. I wrote my first book when I was more pompous, self-absorbed, and sure that I had all the wisdom in the world. There was barely a funny thing in it because I thought that seriousness and sobriety was what everyone wanted. It was a good book, but I grew to dislike too much of that kind of writing. You know, the kind where I was always overly introspective, and I was always trying to be deep, and I just kind of forgot how to laugh at life… This book is not that. No, this book is simply stories and lessons taken from different parts of my life. It is funny as hell. And yes, next to the crazy and funny tales, it lays out many of my challenges, and struggles, and triumphs. But even throughout those, I laugh the entire time because, well, we should be laughing at life as often as possible. Shouldn’t we? This book definitely isn’t as squeaky clean as my blog has been so far. Sure, here on my blog, I have dropped the occasional hell and damn. I’ve said shit in a few of my posts. I’ve made a sexual innuendo or two. But for the most part, I try to keep it pretty clean and family friendly. The book is different. My life hasn’t always been pretty and clean and family friendly. My language has not always been mild and PG rated. And while I don’t cuss too terribly much in the book, let’s just say that my overly conservative friends and family might struggle a bit with both the occasional language and the stories I am willing to tell. Like the first time I ever made out with a girl and I, well, never mind. You’ll just have to read the book. I couldn’t possibly put even a synopsis of that story on my squeaky clean blog. Just know that there is a purpose to every single story. There are deeper lessons that I have learned. And I don’t expect everyone to praise halleluiah and learn and agree with the same lessons. I really don’t. I only hope you'll all get why I learned those lessons when I did and the way I did. I also expect you all to laugh from cover to cover. So anyway, hang tight with me a little longer. I will be back to my regular old blogging self soon enough. Over the next few weeks though, I will probably be doing lots of posts that I don’t have to think too much about. You will be entertained, but it will be similar to what I’ve been posting the last couple months. And forgive me if I have to sneak in another rerun post here and there between now and the day I release the book. Like I said.
