Thought Cops

Here you are, crawling back for more. Go ahead, have another episode of Thought Cops. Deputy Sancho joins us this week, after all. Support the show on Patreon Show Notes Like a phoenix, he has risen from the ashes. That's right, that horrible live-action Sonic that everyone hates is getting a redesign thanks to your complaining. Alex Jones gets kicked off of facebook, severing his last line of broadcasting to the masses: your conservative aunt's profile page. We also talk about blue text bubble vs green text bubble class warfare, radical politicians, and the confusing conundrum that is the Star Wars movie franchise. Click here to buy some Thought Cops stickers. Don't forget to donate to Sancho's charity walk for NAMI. It's for a good cause. Join the Thought Cops Deputy Program Support the show on Patreon Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick.

Bon jour! This week we're joined by Chicago comedian Bontrager. Support the show on Patreon Show Notes Officer Kevin is finally back from Japan, and the squad car is hitting the streets hard. We take out the "honk honk, clown world" bullshit, people instagramming movies, and the poor souls in this world who are the only people on the entire planet who have never seen Game of Thrones. We cover this ridiculous tweet from a musicologist, LGBT representation in Marvel movies, internet streamer Etika gets swatted, and Charles Martinet clarifies just exactly what Mario says as he perpetrates a hate crime against Bowser. Join the Thought Cops Deputy Program Support the show on Patreon Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick.

Konnichiwa! You're tuning into Thought Cops radio scanner channel 69.6. Officer Kevin is currently radioing into the show in the middle of an undercover reconnaissance mission in Neo-Toyko 3 to investigate the horrors that video games are plaguing upon the public discourse this week. Support the show on Patreon Show Notes Make sure to buy tickets for the Boomer vs. Zoomer tour if you'll be in Chicago on August 22nd, featuring former guests of Thought Cops Asterios Kokkinos, Mumkey Jones, and Sriracha. We'll be opening for them. Get your tickets now! Like we mentioned, Officer Kevin had to go to Japan this week after Nintendo was found to be using disability slurs in a video game's song. In retaliation, we destroy a young gaming journalist's career. We also go across the pond to France, because people won't stop sharing vacation pictures on social media after a church burned down. So we had to go in and burn all the social media company headquarters down. That's at least one of the reasons why Reddit isn't working today. Join the Thought Cops Deputy Program Support the show on Patreon Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick.

This week on Thought Cops we're joined by Lars and Joe of The First Podcast. We were also on an episode of theirs that has yet to come out, but in the meantime check out the Officer Grant solo episode. Support the show on Patreon Show Notes IF YOU'RE IN OR AROUND CHICAGO AUGUST 22ND, make sure to buy tickets for the Boomer vs. Zoomer tour, featuring former guests of Thought Cops Asterios Kokkinos, Mumkey Jones, and Sriracha. We'll be opening for them. Get your tickets now! We've also got a beef with Tinder trying to pull an April Fool's Day joke IN FUCKING MARCH. Hope nothing in TINDER headquarters is FLAMMABLE, if you know what I mean. This episode we also poke holes in the problematic "consent condoms," and discover that despite his clear disdain for humanity by plaguing humanity with terrible comics, Nathan Pyle is somehow "pro-life." Turns out I'm technically "pro-choice" now, because I'll terminate my own life if he keeps making comics. Join the Thought Cops Deputy Program Support the show on Patreon Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick.

Lock and load bitch, it's episode 110 of Thought Cops. This week we're joined by Chicago comedian and owner of The Storefront, Alex Prevolos, and his cousin Marty aka @extremelypeace on Twitter. Support the show on Patreon Show Notes We've hit 30k downloads! Thanks everybody for listening! Let's keep those numbers growing, tell all your friends, family members, and Tinder dates to listen and subscribe to Thought Cops! This week, Alex and Marty help us fight the good fight against unfunny twitter accounts, otherwise healthy 20 year olds with one foot in the grave, Fugazi Economics, slow walkers, medical degrees in popping pimples, celebrity millionaires pretending to be normies, and much more. This is a packed episode, folks. We also get fooled into talking about Tinder height verification during the episode. Stay tuned to the next episode for the stunning conclusion where we rip Tinder a new asshole for doing an April Fool's Day prank A FULL FUCKING WEEK BEFORE APRIL. I sure hope Tinder headquarters isn't flammable. We also talk about the declining rate of men under 30 having sex. Feels bad, man. Join the Thought Cops Deputy Program Support the show on Patreon Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick.

Hands up! This week on Thought Cops we're joined by Joey Agliata of Jump and Shoot: a Mega Man Podcast. Support the show on Patreon Show Notes Joey helps us nab perps off the street this week, such as worn-out Florida Man memes, people with anime avatar profile pics, lazy pieces of shit who won't make their own lives better, and having to do your taxes because the government likes giving you homework. More importantly though, the Jussie Smollett case was dropped. I'm sure we'll never talk of any of this again. Myspace deletes everything before 2016 except the long-lasting impact of early 2000's emo music. Memes become illegal in Europe. Maybe with some luck we'll make them illegal over here, too. And last but not least, a vegan youtuber gets caught red-handed. And the red on her hand? THE BLOOD OF INNOCENT ANIMALS. Hope you enjoy eating meat IN THE FUCKING GULAG. We also got this dope fan art from @magipicsandsuch on Twitter, so smash that follow button. Join the Thought Cops Deputy Program Support the show on Patreon

PRESENTING: episode 108 of Thought Cops, with America's Wingman himself, host of The Dick Show, Dick Masterson. Also the creator of New Project 2 and a timeless masterpiece of satire. He gets to be on episode 108 because he never got a 108 of his own on The Biggest Problem (rest in peace). Support the show on Patreon Show Notes  This week, Dick helps us tackle the problems of Instagram/Snapchat stories of people watching tv, tech companies that are so progressive that they're puritanical, and the 10 habits of extremely productive people. Hard hitting commentary as usual. In actual news though, we talk about the culpability of entertainers like Pewdiepie in the wake of national tragedies, JK Rowling's revisionist historical perspectives toward her own made up world, cat fuckers, and the curious case of Egg Boy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJcF1YBUOZ0 Join the Thought Cops Deputy Program Support the show on Patreon

Happy Garbage Day, everybody! This week on Thought Cops, we have returning champion Brett Mercer of Big Time Garbage! Support the show on Patreon Show Notes As we mentioned this episode, there's a new shirt for sale on the Thought Cops store. I hope to sell at least one of them. This week, we uncover the problems with the #yanggang and memetic warfare, an episode of the Simpsons promoting a child abuser 30 years ago, Tucker Carlson's problematic statements from 10 years ago, dumbshit reality-deconstructing alien comics, the "cult" of Coloradoism, and another shitty meme format. Join the Thought Cops Deputy Program Support the show on Patreon

This week on Cops, we have everyone's favorite caller Gumshoe Niko calling in, live and on the Thought Crime Hotline. Support the show on Patreon Show Notes Starting off with the world famous "two minutes of hate" segment we always do, we all argue about which way toilet paper go, the "girl hate" phenomenon and how to stop doing it, and the plight of the non-jacket wearers and the discrimination they face on a daily basis. I'm declaring that the "N" in the LGBT acronym now stands for "non-jacket wearers." More importantly though, we nab thought perps left and right this episode, like Steven Spielberg, who begs the question of whether or not Netflix movies should win Oscars. Go back to making the Animaniacs, you fuckhead. Also, it wouldn't be an episode of Thought Cops without us talking about a member of the Kardashian/Jenner family doing some dumb shit like being self-made billionaires. When's Forbes going to declare me the youngest self-made college student who graduated without any loan debt? The live-action Sonic movie also released an image of what Sonic is supposed to look like for the soon to be released feature film, and here's what that looks like. In other gaming news, there's backlash against a Gamer Girl Gaming Dress, and a game called "Rape Day" had to be removed from the Steam store, and you'll never guess why. I swear to god this podcast is going to kill me one day. Don't forget to leave us a five star review on iTunes so we can read it on the show and also it looks good to have all those nice stars lined up all pretty. Join the Thought Cops Deputy Program Support the show on Patreon

TONIGHT, ON THOUGHT COPS: Chicago Comedian Brandon Kirkman of the podcasts Podzooky and Desks and Dayjobs, which are all a part of the Machine Culture Collective. Support the show on Patreon Show Notes This episode, we're talking about how beer has become the internet's new bacon. And how every single platformer nowadays is a "Soulslike Metroidvania." We also cover the highly controversial Momo challenge that never fucking happened. I'm never believing anything I read online again. Speaking of which, apparently Captain Marvel is the greatest movie to ever grace the presence of theaters, according to Rotten Tomatoes. That's the website I use to decide for myself if a movie is good or not. A guy also wore a dress to the Oscars, to which Tomi Lahren replied: "MASCULINITY IS FUCKING UNDER ATTACK." Don't forget to subscribe on iTunes, and donate to our Patreon so we can keep spitting out phat 'casts. Join the Thought Cops Deputy Program Support the show on Patreon

Click, click, boom! It's another episode of Thought Cops, featuring Jake Flores of Pod Damn America! Show Notes Federales, listen up: be sure to subscribe to Podzooky and Rock Bottom Cast this week to catch some hot guest appearances from your favorite officers of the thought. We also discuss some creative ideas people have been utilizing with our $10 Patreon tier. Our listeners are the best, aren't they? Me: Discusses grievances with social media grieving. Also me: Has to do the rest of the show. We gotta talk about this Jussie Smollett stuff. We gotta talk about John Wayne and the airport that's named after him. But most of all, we gotta keep it civil because comments sections are under severe scrutiny as YouTube announced this week they can demonetize your video if the comments section gets too spicy. So instead, be a carelord this week and tell your friends to listen to Thought Cops. Share the show, spread the word, and good things will come of it, we promise*!   *We have never and can never stand behind such claims.

Hell yeah... it's another episode of Thought Cops. This week, we are accompanied by Tony of Hack The Movies and Cinemassacre! Support the show on Patreon Show Notes Childhood ruined: the new Aladdin cashcow in the works from Disney finally showed off it's new look for the Genie. Surprise: he's blue! Surprise: it sucks! Thought you heard the last of the "-gate" suffix? Well, think again! Kamala Harris is in hot (bong) water this week as "reefergate" is at the forefront of everyone's minds. Top internet detectives were able to counter-research when Tupac albums came out, to when Ms. Harris claims to have smoked that sticky icky. With this kind of manpower, we could have cured cancer right now. Aziz Ansari addressed his scandal from a year back or so, too. Get a load of this and a lot more by listening to this thrilling episode of Thought Cops! Join the Thought Cops Deputy Program Support the show on Patreon

Get in, loser. It's another episode of Thought Cops! This week we are joined by Chicago comedian Andrew Shankland! Support the show on Patreon Show Notes It's been a busy week. We guested on the latest episode of Here's What I Don't Get. And you can GET it HERE. Sorry guys, saw the opportunity and had to go for it. We've also been more active on our twitch channel recently, so don't forget to subscribe and you won't miss a stream. We've got a new episode of Fire Bros out, and we sent out our personal mini-episodes to all of the Federales in the $10 Ride Along tier. Whew. "Fuck FuckJerry". Never thought you'd see that headline, did ya? Welcome to 2019. FuckJerry is under attack for jacking people's content. The Superb*wl happened recently, and nobody liked it. Yet somehow it remains the most televised event in the country. No Spongebob homage? Disrespectful. We learn that you shouldn't say the B-word anymore (Billionaires, that's the last time I'm going to say it outside of this learning moment) and you should instead say "People of Wealth". Or, PoW's if you're a lazy monster. Thanks for listening everybody, and keep those sirens on for us. Join the Thought Cops Deputy Program Support the show on Patreon

Lock and load, because we're back for "season two" of Thought Cops: Episode 101! We're back from our post-100 break, and we're joined this week by Riley from Anti-Social Entertainment and his friend Bird or Longneck or whatever other moniker he decides to go by in the upcoming months. Support the show on Patreon   Show Notes This week's show is all about catching up on the last two week's worth of news stories, so we're playing all the hits. We've got the toxic masculinity Gillette ad. We've got the Covington Catholic School boys smirking at Native American veterans. We've got Ben Shapiro defending Baby Hitler. We've got the Venom fuckers versus the Ted Bundy fuckers. We've got Howard Schultz's presidential run. What more could you want from a podcast about pure unadulterated internet outrage? Brought to you for the low, low price of ABSOLUTELY FREE. If you'd like to though, you can always support our show on Patreon. Click the link below. Thanks for listening! Join the Thought Cops Deputy Program Support the show on Patreon

Thanks everybody! Support the show on Patreon Officer Kevin and Officer Grant take a "look back" at their "legacy" thus far over, at some of the "greatest hits" of the past 100 episodes. My memory may be a bit foggy on these, but they sound familiar? This episode isn't just about the Thought Cops, though. This is a celebration of YOU- the listeners! Lots of friends of the show chime in with some congratulatory voicemails, as well as cameo appearances from Justin Whang, Davepretendo, Allan Foster, and Zwick! Won't you join us on this trip down "memory lane"?