X & Y On The Fly - Dating Podcast | Love | Sex | Relationships

Every couple thinks and behaves differently. You've probably thought and behaved differently depending on who your significant other was at a particular time in history. But for sure there are, well...'standards' that tend to rule any polite, public conversation about how men and women typically are when they're a couple, and what's 'normal'. So then, what IS 'normal'? Is there really such a thing? And if so, is that really what's BEST in a particular relationship...especially for YOU and your partner? After all, sometimes 'normalcy' is unhappy. What kind of feelings should a couple have for each other? Can initial attraction and 'chemistry' possibly be a bad or dangerous thing, as some so-called experts say? On the other hand, is there any merit to the idea of 'learning to love each other'? And how do 'normal' couples behave? Is it healthy to 'fight', as some dating coaches have suggested? Or should you always be 'shiny and happy' instead? Surely, there has to be some middle ground, right? And what about jealousy...how much of that is 'normal'? Is total equality between men and women the new norm for most couples? And what about sex? Does any idea of what's 'normal' go completely out the window behind closed doors...or are most of us actually a lot more normal than we think we are? Get all the show notes, free downloads and more at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

You hear the term 'power couple' quite a bit, but what exactly does it mean? We know one when we see one, for sure. But is it necessarily a good thing? Would we want to team up with our significant other to BE one? If so, how do we BECOME one? Well, let's first get this out in the open: I'm not sure whether we are indeed a 'power couple' or not, especialy after this conversation...as entertaining and informative as it was. So then, how about it? What kind of 'power' are we talking about here, anyway? What does it take for a couple to add up to more than the sum of their individual parts? What are the actual, real-world traits of a 'power couple'? Can a couple be a 'power couple' simply by acting like one, or does that distinction have to be earned...if not bestowed upon them by others? What are the different ways can a couple indeed be powerful? Doesn't the expectation to be a 'power couple' put a lot of pressure on spouses, especially if one wants it more than the other? Is this something we should aspire to--in one way or another--or does it all only relegate the relationship to feeling more like 'work' again? Is it true in this case that the bigger they are, the harder they fall? And hey, is there such thing as 'power parents'? That sounds flat-out cringeworthy. One thing's for sure about this episode, we didn't leave anything on the table, all the while taking ourselves far less seriously than any 'power couple' typically should. Catch show notes, free downloads and more at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

It seems to everyone paying attention that beautiful women enjoy a massive 'halo effect'. It's like they're treated like celebrities--or even royalty--everywhere they go. But what else is going on there? What's it REALLY like to be a sexy, attractive woman out there in the dating world? Well, in my decidedly un-biased opinion, Emily is exactly the right female human being to offer first-hand perspective on all of this. First, off, we talk about how there are two kinds of women...those who rely on their looks, and those who see the bigger picture. What's life like for each? Do women look for reasons to 'reject' men? And what's it like to have to put almost everyone in the JBF Zone? What do truly attractive women really think when a man compliments them? Could it really be true that the hotter a woman is, the LESS she gets asked out (even if she's 'hit on' more)? Do women really enjoy their ability to 'get laid' by almost anyone, anytime...or is that only how men think? What is the BIGGEST problem beautiful women face when dating? What's the real-world social difference between childhood beauty queens and late bloomers? Are there women who don't realize they're beautiful? Why do some women burn through a cycle of commitment phobic men, while others get proposed to early and often? What about women who weaponize their looks...how does that work? And what's the deal with 'self-made sexy women'? What does that even mean? So sure, attractive women may have the power in dating...but do they WANT it? What happens when they meet a chooser instead of another chaser? Get all the free stuff you can handle, and talk to me for FREE when you visit https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

Who knows why this topic hadn't been covered yet around here? My edumckayted guess is it probably had something to do with repressed memories. Yes, Emily and I both are survivors of first marriages affected by profound illness. And yes...we both strongly agree you would be better off avoiding psychotic people in general, especially as romantic partners. But when you get right down to it, that's only one kind of person who you should definitely write out of your romantic story. So why is it, then, that too many people end up with the wrong person? Is it that they ignore red flags? Is it failure to even recognize red flags at all? Or does low self-esteem compel people to settle, which is at least better than being lonely? Is it about being 'clouded by beauty vision'? For sure, some people are manipulated or even threatened by black-hearted partners into sticking around. Or what if it's something else entirely? Well, here at X & Y Communications we believe in deserving what you want. That means rolling up the sleeves and doing what it takes to make the right relationships happen. Well, after this ironically funny and entertaining episode, we pledge you'll be much better equipped to pick up on warning signs, make better decisions and most of all...ultimately weed out crazy, selfish, mean, addicted, needy and/or fundamentally incompatible people. Visit the web site for free downloads, show notes and to talk to us FREE for 25 minutes: https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

Let's face it, when single moms and single dads get together, it's pure naive idealism that would cause us to expect we're creating our own Brady Bunch. The reality of blended families is much different. Emily and I have been there ourselves, and have first-hand experience. We know full well it can seem more like being put through a Vita-Mix than a mere blender. But does it have to be such an ordeal? Well, there's no doubt that bringing everyone involved under one roof is a challenge, but yes...there is plenty of 20/20 foresight that can minimize both the drama and the pain. And what if you're already all together and facing profound issues as a blended family? No worries, Emily and I have real, actionable answers for you as well. So, why is blending a family uniquely different when it comes to baseline compatibility measures? What should we think about BEFORE dating a single parent? How does selfishness creep in to the picture...often with devastating results? What if you straight-up don't like each other's kids? What's the first thing that ought to happen as soon as you get engaged to a single parent? And what is the best way to give each of your kids a measure of ownership over their own destiny as step-kids, without conceding parental control? This is a big topic for sure, but prepared to be amazed by how much ground gets covered in one episode. Nevertheless, if this show raised more questions, please write us at scotandemily@scotandemily.com and/or visit us at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

As the lyrics of one of Tyler Childers' songs say, 'There is hurt you can cause that time alone cannot heal'. When it comes to our interactions with women, a breathtaking amount of that pain is caused by what we say...or what SHE says. And when we get into a relationship, the stakes get even higher. We get straight to the point in this episode, first addressing the weird childhood refrain that 'sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me'. So then, what about childhood? How does what our parents--and maybe even teachers--tell us form our views of and expectations toward future romantic relationship? What's the truth about how early-stage communication between men and women can deeply impact BOTH participants, both in the short-term and the longer-term? What are the differences between how men and women tend to process conversational conflict...and the surprising similarities? What are the patterns that lead to couples blurting out extremely painful barbs at each other...and how can we guard against saying that which can never be unsaid? In what ways can be arm ourselves with wisdom so as to prevent harmful insults, angry threats and heated 'confessions' from ever being uttered to begin with? What subjects should couples absolutely avoid if they want to avoid bitterness and resentment? Finally, listen in for some practical, actionable habits that Emily and I have adopted within the framework of our marriage to ensure our conversations remain productive...even when we're cranky? Find the show notes, free downloads and more at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

No matter how well a couple gets along and navigates their relationship, there always seems to be a challenge to your relationship coming from somewhere. It can start with the best man's TMI speech during the wedding reception. But what about unsolicited advice from miserable people who can't even manage their own relationships? Jealous BFFs and sneaky exes? Baby mamas and baby daddies? How about other toxic people in your life you just can't cut out, for whatever reason? Sometimes it's his kids, her kids and even your kids together. How about when there's a member of the other gender who is 'just a friend'? Sometimes you don't even have to be on The Newlywed Game in order to be humiliated in front of way too many people...a simple party game of 'Would You Rather?' can do the trick. What about job-related pressures, or bosses, or when coworkers start interfering with your relationship? Is there ever a time when these people should be allowed to exert influence, or is that a loaded question? What about a job change, especially if that involves a major schedule disruption or even relocation? Is it possible that fictional characters can negatively affect how couples relate to each other? How does that work? What about social media and text disasters? Can media headlines and political opinions seep into a relationship and affect a couple's perception of compatibility? Is there any way to anticipate potential outside influences prior to getting into a relationship, and develop a 'contingency plan' of sorts...or does life simply tend to throw too many unexpected curveballs, despite our best-laid plans? By the way, no...there REALLY isn't a Jen, already. Get all the free stuff at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

In the second installment of our two-part episode, Emily and I break down the little things couples do (often to each other) that make a relationship suck. To kick things off, we talk about the scene in the movie The Good, The Bad And The Ugly itself that's the best metaphor for how men and women ruin their relationships together. Next, we talk about the importance of realizing that some allegedly 'small' annoyances in a relationship are actually HUGE to the other partner. And YES...you want examples, and we've got 'em. What's the difference between being snarky and being a smart-ass...and is either okay? What are some dangerous ways that bad parenting can actually negatively affect your relationship? What should always be off the table in any disagreement and NEVER fair game? And how about those habits we fall into that seem innocuous at first, but prove to be toxic over time? What kinds of expectations are too idealistic for real life...and which are perfectly reasonable? How do external stresses seep into a relationship to make it worse? What negative effects can pregnancy have if we're not vigilant? How about blended families? What happens when men and women confuse being equal with being the same? And no discussion of the little things that can wreck a relationship would be complete without discussion of your sex life together, right? Get ready for a no-holds-barred experience, as no stone gets left unturned. And after listening, get all the free goodies and more by checking out https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

This is the first of a two-part episode on the little things that either make a relationship great, or make it suck. Sure, you hear about the major pillars like trust, communication, attraction, etc., but this is a deeper dive into the subtle effects certain mindsets and/or actions have. The first order of business is to describe how big mountains are often (maybe even usually) composed of small pebbles. How important is being playful instead of taking oneself so seriously? What does that even mean? Should you put THEIR needs and OUR needs ahead of YOUR needs? If so, what if your needs never get met? Next we talk about various kinds of 'micro-bursts' that can really supercharge your relationship. What does it mean when we say, 'Freedom from obligation is literally nothing'? How can certain little secret messages and spontaneous flirts change the dynamic between partners for the better? What 'three little words' are every bit as important as 'I love you'? Is talking everything out overrated? Discover the meta level truth behind small things mattering in a relationship. Next, we reveal the insidious ways we trick ourselves into focusing only on the big picture, with predictably disastrous relationship results. What is the important conversation that must take place between a couple before getting married? (Well, there are lots of them, for sure...but this is one that rarely gets mentioned.) How about the little gestures that matter during pregnancy and the early days of parenthood? Yes...we cover those too. Talk to us for FREE for 25 minutes when you get on our calendar at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

It's the foundation of every good solid relationship. With it, you and your significant other are set for years of blissful happiness together. Without it, you're likely doomed to failure. We're talking about trust, of course. Emily and I have enjoyed a trusting relationship with each other for nearly sixteen years now, and she finally sat down with me for a deep dive into all aspects of what that trust looks like. What causes men and women to lack (or lose) trust for each other? How do established mindsets wreak destruction on a nascent relationship before it even has a chance? Should two people trust each other at the beginning blindly, or is that earned over time? What is a reasonable amount of suspicion versus simply being paranoid? What do you do when lack of trust becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy? And how can we shake that nagging feeling of unwillingness to trust again after getting hurt over and over...isn't that kind of like not trusting oneself to begin with? And what about the strain that long-distance relationships put on trust? Do pre-nuptial agreements automatically betray lack of trust right from the beginning? How much does communication really have to do with all of this? Why does Emily enthusiastically support my in-field outings with you guys to practice meeting women? And for the big finale, we cover the three cornerstones of a good, solid trusting relationship that's built to last. So what about you? Are you in a relationship where trust is lacking, and want to either build it up or get it back? Would you like to get into a healthy relationship but find it hard to trust again? Let's get on the phone together and talk about it. Get on our calendar at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

It's the foundation of every good solid relationship. With it, you and your significant other are set for years of blissful happiness together. Without it, you're likely doomed to failure. We're talking about trust, of course. Emily and I have enjoyed a trusting relationship with each other for nearly sixteen years now, and she finally sat down with me for a deep dive into all aspects of what that trust looks like. What causes men and women to lack (or lose) trust for each other? How do established mindsets wreak destruction on a nascent relationship before it even has a chance? Should two people trust each other at the beginning blindly, or is that earned over time? What is a reasonable amount of suspicion versus simply being paranoid? What do you do when lack of trust becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy? And how can we shake that nagging feeling of unwillingness to trust again after getting hurt over and over...isn't that kind of like not trusting oneself to begin with? And what about the strain that long-distance relationships put on trust? Do pre-nuptial agreements automatically betray lack of trust right from the beginning? How much does communication really have to do with all of this? Why does Emily enthusiastically support my in-field outings with you guys to practice meeting women? And for the big finale, we cover the three cornerstones of a good, solid trusting relationship that's built to last. So what about you? Are you in a relationship where trust is lacking, and want to either build it up or get it back? Would you like to get into a healthy relationship but find it hard to trust again? Let's get on the phone together and talk about it. Get on our calendar at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

Who knew a funny video featuring two cockatoos would lead to a full-on discussion of one of the most devastating--and common--ways we do mess up our chances in dating and relationships? I'm talking, of course, about trying too hard. Do men, especially so-called 'nice guys', do this more than women? If so, why is that? Can it really be as simple as because men do EVERYTHING to impress chicks? But what are the ways that women tend to try too hard? Why do people think this works to attract people, when the weird psychological effect is the exact opposite? Instead of pushing people away, how can we PULL them in magnetically? And what's the difference between needy approval seeking as opposed to simply being too damn perky, upbeat, enthusiastic or optimistic? Why do people persist in trying too hard, even when they already realize they're 'pushing it uphill' and their efforts are doomed to failure? And what's up with men's tendency to try logicking women into liking us? Women often say they 'want a man to pursue them', but how is that different than chasing in desperation? Of course, no discussion such as this would be complete without straight talk on when to actually give up. Catch show notes, free downloads and a chance to talk to us free for 25-minutes about turning your life around for the better...all when you visit https://scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

Who knew a funny video featuring two cockatoos would lead to a full-on discussion of one of the most devastating--and common--ways we do mess up our chances in dating and relationships? I'm talking, of course, about trying too hard. Do men, especially so-called 'nice guys', do this more than women? If so, why is that? Can it really be as simple as because men do EVERYTHING to impress chicks? But what are the ways that women tend to try too hard? Why do people think this works to attract people, when the weird psychological effect is the exact opposite? Instead of pushing people away, how can we PULL them in magnetically? And what's the difference between needy approval seeking as opposed to simply being too damn perky, upbeat, enthusiastic or optimistic? Why do people persist in trying too hard, even when they already realize they're 'pushing it uphill' and their efforts are doomed to failure? And what's up with men's tendency to try logicking women into liking us? Women often say they 'want a man to pursue them', but how is that different than chasing in desperation? Of course, no discussion such as this would be complete without straight talk on when to actually give up. Catch show notes, free downloads and a chance to talk to us free for 25-minutes about turning your life around for the better...all when you visit https://scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

In 1968, Tammy Wynette released probably her most famous single, which caused immediate outrage from the Women's Movement. But Wynette countered by saying 'stand by your man' simply meant accepting one's husband despite his faults. But still, by today's standards the song might evoke even more vitriolic outrage. Yet, a recent Facebook post brought up how men are always taught how to treat a woman, but teaching women how to treat a man would be anachronistic at best, sexist or even patriarchal oppression at worst. So what's up with that? Are women just teaching their daughters how to stay away from men? Do the so-called 'red pill' guys and #MGTOW have a point when they decry the double standard? Well, Emily and I throw all of this on the table, along with the sandwich she just made me (kidding). But there's a lot to talk about here. I mean, obviously both women AND men should stand by each other in a relationship, right? But not everyone deserves what they want here. When does loyalty turn into being a doormat? And what happens when men don't WANT to be 'treated', and just want to be left alone to do stuff themselves? Can't people in relationships just do right by each other, and like it? I mean, if we don't stand together we'll inevitably grow apart...right? Go to https://scotandemily.com/podcast, where you can schedule a free 25-minute call with us to talk about your future, and getting you into the right relationship. === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

In 1968, Tammy Wynette released probably her most famous single, which caused immediate outrage from the Women's Movement. But Wynette countered by saying 'stand by your man' simply meant accepting one's husband despite his faults. But still, by today's standards the song might evoke even more vitriolic outrage. Yet, a recent Facebook post brought up how men are always taught how to treat a woman, but teaching women how to treat a man would be anachronistic at best, sexist or even patriarchal oppression at worst. So what's up with that? Are women just teaching their daughters how to stay away from men? Do the so-called 'red pill' guys and #MGTOW have a point when they decry the double standard? Well, Emily and I throw all of this on the table, along with the sandwich she just made me (kidding). But there's a lot to talk about here. I mean, obviously both women AND men should stand by each other in a relationship, right? But not everyone deserves what they want here. When does loyalty turn into being a doormat? And what happens when men don't WANT to be 'treated', and just want to be left alone to do stuff themselves? Can't people in relationships just do right by each other, and like it? I mean, if we don't stand together we'll inevitably grow apart...right? Go to https://scotandemily.com/podcast, where you can schedule a free 25-minute call with us to talk about your future, and getting you into the right relationship. === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!