X & Y On The Fly - Dating Podcast | Love | Sex | Relationships show

X & Y On The Fly - Dating Podcast | Love | Sex | Relationships

Summary: X & Y On The Fly--Dating Podcast. Spirited discussion about dating and relationships hosted by Scot and Emily McKay. What you hear is guaranteed to be unique and often hilarious but ALWAYS useful. All killer, no filler. Based on the popular newsletter from X & Y Communications (www.relationship-advice.us).

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  • Artist: Scot and Emily McKay
  • Copyright: (c) 2006-2022 X & Y Communications Worldwide Mediacasting Network

Podcasts:

 Episode 67--X & Y On The Fly--Who is Jen, And Why Is She Texting You? | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: Unknown

No matter how well a couple gets along and navigates their relationship, there always seems to be a challenge to your relationship coming from somewhere. It can start with the best man's TMI speech during the wedding reception. But what about unsolicited advice from miserable people who can't even manage their own relationships? Jealous BFFs and sneaky exes? Baby mamas and baby daddies? How about other toxic people in your life you just can't cut out, for whatever reason? Sometimes it's his kids, her kids and even your kids together. How about when there's a member of the other gender who is 'just a friend'? Sometimes you don't even have to be on The Newlywed Game in order to be humiliated in front of way too many people...a simple party game of 'Would You Rather?' can do the trick. What about job-related pressures, or bosses, or when coworkers start interfering with your relationship? Is there ever a time when these people should be allowed to exert influence, or is that a loaded question? What about a job change, especially if that involves a major schedule disruption or even relocation? Is it possible that fictional characters can negatively affect how couples relate to each other? How does that work? What about social media and text disasters? Can media headlines and political opinions seep into a relationship and affect a couple's perception of compatibility? Is there any way to anticipate potential outside influences prior to getting into a relationship, and develop a 'contingency plan' of sorts...or does life simply tend to throw too many unexpected curveballs, despite our best-laid plans? By the way, no...there REALLY isn't a Jen, already. Get all the free stuff at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

 Episode 66--X & Y On The Fly--The Little Things That Make A Relationship Suck | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: Unknown

In the second installment of our two-part episode, Emily and I break down the little things couples do (often to each other) that make a relationship suck. To kick things off, we talk about the scene in the movie The Good, The Bad And The Ugly itself that's the best metaphor for how men and women ruin their relationships together. Next, we talk about the importance of realizing that some allegedly 'small' annoyances in a relationship are actually HUGE to the other partner. And YES...you want examples, and we've got 'em. What's the difference between being snarky and being a smart-ass...and is either okay? What are some dangerous ways that bad parenting can actually negatively affect your relationship? What should always be off the table in any disagreement and NEVER fair game? And how about those habits we fall into that seem innocuous at first, but prove to be toxic over time? What kinds of expectations are too idealistic for real life...and which are perfectly reasonable? How do external stresses seep into a relationship to make it worse? What negative effects can pregnancy have if we're not vigilant? How about blended families? What happens when men and women confuse being equal with being the same? And no discussion of the little things that can wreck a relationship would be complete without discussion of your sex life together, right? Get ready for a no-holds-barred experience, as no stone gets left unturned. And after listening, get all the free goodies and more by checking out https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

 Episode 65--X & Y On The Fly--The Little Things That Make A Relationship Great | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: Unknown

This is the first of a two-part episode on the little things that either make a relationship great, or make it suck. Sure, you hear about the major pillars like trust, communication, attraction, etc., but this is a deeper dive into the subtle effects certain mindsets and/or actions have. The first order of business is to describe how big mountains are often (maybe even usually) composed of small pebbles. How important is being playful instead of taking oneself so seriously? What does that even mean? Should you put THEIR needs and OUR needs ahead of YOUR needs? If so, what if your needs never get met? Next we talk about various kinds of 'micro-bursts' that can really supercharge your relationship. What does it mean when we say, 'Freedom from obligation is literally nothing'? How can certain little secret messages and spontaneous flirts change the dynamic between partners for the better? What 'three little words' are every bit as important as 'I love you'? Is talking everything out overrated? Discover the meta level truth behind small things mattering in a relationship. Next, we reveal the insidious ways we trick ourselves into focusing only on the big picture, with predictably disastrous relationship results. What is the important conversation that must take place between a couple before getting married? (Well, there are lots of them, for sure...but this is one that rarely gets mentioned.) How about the little gestures that matter during pregnancy and the early days of parenthood? Yes...we cover those too. Talk to us for FREE for 25 minutes when you get on our calendar at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

 Episode 64--X & Y On The Fly--Trust Is The Cornerstone Of Every Relationship | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: Unknown

It's the foundation of every good solid relationship. With it, you and your significant other are set for years of blissful happiness together. Without it, you're likely doomed to failure. We're talking about trust, of course. Emily and I have enjoyed a trusting relationship with each other for nearly sixteen years now, and she finally sat down with me for a deep dive into all aspects of what that trust looks like. What causes men and women to lack (or lose) trust for each other? How do established mindsets wreak destruction on a nascent relationship before it even has a chance? Should two people trust each other at the beginning blindly, or is that earned over time? What is a reasonable amount of suspicion versus simply being paranoid? What do you do when lack of trust becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy? And how can we shake that nagging feeling of unwillingness to trust again after getting hurt over and over...isn't that kind of like not trusting oneself to begin with? And what about the strain that long-distance relationships put on trust? Do pre-nuptial agreements automatically betray lack of trust right from the beginning? How much does communication really have to do with all of this? Why does Emily enthusiastically support my in-field outings with you guys to practice meeting women? And for the big finale, we cover the three cornerstones of a good, solid trusting relationship that's built to last. So what about you? Are you in a relationship where trust is lacking, and want to either build it up or get it back? Would you like to get into a healthy relationship but find it hard to trust again? Let's get on the phone together and talk about it. Get on our calendar at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

 Episode 64--X & Y On The Fly--Trust Is The Cornerstone Of Every Relationship | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: Unknown

It's the foundation of every good solid relationship. With it, you and your significant other are set for years of blissful happiness together. Without it, you're likely doomed to failure. We're talking about trust, of course. Emily and I have enjoyed a trusting relationship with each other for nearly sixteen years now, and she finally sat down with me for a deep dive into all aspects of what that trust looks like. What causes men and women to lack (or lose) trust for each other? How do established mindsets wreak destruction on a nascent relationship before it even has a chance? Should two people trust each other at the beginning blindly, or is that earned over time? What is a reasonable amount of suspicion versus simply being paranoid? What do you do when lack of trust becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy? And how can we shake that nagging feeling of unwillingness to trust again after getting hurt over and over...isn't that kind of like not trusting oneself to begin with? And what about the strain that long-distance relationships put on trust? Do pre-nuptial agreements automatically betray lack of trust right from the beginning? How much does communication really have to do with all of this? Why does Emily enthusiastically support my in-field outings with you guys to practice meeting women? And for the big finale, we cover the three cornerstones of a good, solid trusting relationship that's built to last. So what about you? Are you in a relationship where trust is lacking, and want to either build it up or get it back? Would you like to get into a healthy relationship but find it hard to trust again? Let's get on the phone together and talk about it. Get on our calendar at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

 Episode 63--X & Y On The Fly--Neediness, Desperation And Trying Too Hard | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: Unknown

Who knew a funny video featuring two cockatoos would lead to a full-on discussion of one of the most devastating--and common--ways we do mess up our chances in dating and relationships? I'm talking, of course, about trying too hard. Do men, especially so-called 'nice guys', do this more than women? If so, why is that? Can it really be as simple as because men do EVERYTHING to impress chicks? But what are the ways that women tend to try too hard? Why do people think this works to attract people, when the weird psychological effect is the exact opposite? Instead of pushing people away, how can we PULL them in magnetically? And what's the difference between needy approval seeking as opposed to simply being too damn perky, upbeat, enthusiastic or optimistic? Why do people persist in trying too hard, even when they already realize they're 'pushing it uphill' and their efforts are doomed to failure? And what's up with men's tendency to try logicking women into liking us? Women often say they 'want a man to pursue them', but how is that different than chasing in desperation? Of course, no discussion such as this would be complete without straight talk on when to actually give up. Catch show notes, free downloads and a chance to talk to us free for 25-minutes about turning your life around for the better...all when you visit https://scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

 Episode 63--X & Y On The Fly--Neediness, Desperation And Trying Too Hard | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: Unknown

Who knew a funny video featuring two cockatoos would lead to a full-on discussion of one of the most devastating--and common--ways we do mess up our chances in dating and relationships? I'm talking, of course, about trying too hard. Do men, especially so-called 'nice guys', do this more than women? If so, why is that? Can it really be as simple as because men do EVERYTHING to impress chicks? But what are the ways that women tend to try too hard? Why do people think this works to attract people, when the weird psychological effect is the exact opposite? Instead of pushing people away, how can we PULL them in magnetically? And what's the difference between needy approval seeking as opposed to simply being too damn perky, upbeat, enthusiastic or optimistic? Why do people persist in trying too hard, even when they already realize they're 'pushing it uphill' and their efforts are doomed to failure? And what's up with men's tendency to try logicking women into liking us? Women often say they 'want a man to pursue them', but how is that different than chasing in desperation? Of course, no discussion such as this would be complete without straight talk on when to actually give up. Catch show notes, free downloads and a chance to talk to us free for 25-minutes about turning your life around for the better...all when you visit https://scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

 Episode 62--X & Y On The Fly--Stand By Your Man...Or Your Woman | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: Unknown

In 1968, Tammy Wynette released probably her most famous single, which caused immediate outrage from the Women's Movement. But Wynette countered by saying 'stand by your man' simply meant accepting one's husband despite his faults. But still, by today's standards the song might evoke even more vitriolic outrage. Yet, a recent Facebook post brought up how men are always taught how to treat a woman, but teaching women how to treat a man would be anachronistic at best, sexist or even patriarchal oppression at worst. So what's up with that? Are women just teaching their daughters how to stay away from men? Do the so-called 'red pill' guys and #MGTOW have a point when they decry the double standard? Well, Emily and I throw all of this on the table, along with the sandwich she just made me (kidding). But there's a lot to talk about here. I mean, obviously both women AND men should stand by each other in a relationship, right? But not everyone deserves what they want here. When does loyalty turn into being a doormat? And what happens when men don't WANT to be 'treated', and just want to be left alone to do stuff themselves? Can't people in relationships just do right by each other, and like it? I mean, if we don't stand together we'll inevitably grow apart...right? Go to https://scotandemily.com/podcast, where you can schedule a free 25-minute call with us to talk about your future, and getting you into the right relationship. === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

 Episode 62--X & Y On The Fly--Stand By Your Man...Or Your Woman | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: Unknown

In 1968, Tammy Wynette released probably her most famous single, which caused immediate outrage from the Women's Movement. But Wynette countered by saying 'stand by your man' simply meant accepting one's husband despite his faults. But still, by today's standards the song might evoke even more vitriolic outrage. Yet, a recent Facebook post brought up how men are always taught how to treat a woman, but teaching women how to treat a man would be anachronistic at best, sexist or even patriarchal oppression at worst. So what's up with that? Are women just teaching their daughters how to stay away from men? Do the so-called 'red pill' guys and #MGTOW have a point when they decry the double standard? Well, Emily and I throw all of this on the table, along with the sandwich she just made me (kidding). But there's a lot to talk about here. I mean, obviously both women AND men should stand by each other in a relationship, right? But not everyone deserves what they want here. When does loyalty turn into being a doormat? And what happens when men don't WANT to be 'treated', and just want to be left alone to do stuff themselves? Can't people in relationships just do right by each other, and like it? I mean, if we don't stand together we'll inevitably grow apart...right? Go to https://scotandemily.com/podcast, where you can schedule a free 25-minute call with us to talk about your future, and getting you into the right relationship. === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

 Episode 61--X & Y On The Fly--Dating And Relationships In 2021 | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: Unknown

2020 has finally drawn to a close and it's time to address 2021. What will the 'new normal' look like insofar as dating and relationships go? How soon until we can actually get there? What unexpected surprises might be in store for all of us, whether we're currently in a relationship or looking forward to getting into one? What can be observed from past pandemics and applied to the current dating situation? What are the perhaps untold truths about how men and women have been relating together all along for the last nine months? And what about some real-world strategies for making damn skippy sure 2021 is far better than 2020? How much of that is really within our control, anyway? Are we really going to be doomed to endless suggestions for 'Zoom dating'? Where can our source of optimism come from in a world where many believe it's as bad as it gets and won't get better anytime soon? Well, if you're going to favor an optimistic viewpoint, you're going to need a plan to bounce back. You don't have to go it alone. Go to https://scotandemily.com/podcast and start the year off right by scheduling a free 25-minute call with us to set that plan in motion. === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

 Episode 61--X & Y On The Fly--Dating And Relationships In 2021 | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: Unknown

2020 has finally drawn to a close and it's time to address 2021. What will the 'new normal' look like insofar as dating and relationships go? How soon until we can actually get there? What unexpected surprises might be in store for all of us, whether we're currently in a relationship or looking forward to getting into one? What can be observed from past pandemics and applied to the current dating situation? What are the perhaps untold truths about how men and women have been relating together all along for the last nine months? And what about some real-world strategies for making damn skippy sure 2021 is far better than 2020? How much of that is really within our control, anyway? Are we really going to be doomed to endless suggestions for 'Zoom dating'? Where can our source of optimism come from in a world where many believe it's as bad as it gets and won't get better anytime soon? Well, if you're going to favor an optimistic viewpoint, you're going to need a plan to bounce back. You don't have to go it alone. Go to https://scotandemily.com/podcast and start the year off right by scheduling a free 25-minute call with us to set that plan in motion. === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

 Episode 60--X & Y On The Fly--Happy Relationship Or Miserable One? | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: Unknown

Last week on The Mountain Top podcast I said out loud that I had never met anyone in a happy relationship who was miserable. That concept is worth a deeper discussion, and who better to have it with than the very woman I'm in a happy relationship with? Now obviously, one can be perfectly happy without being in any relationship at all, for sure. But right out of the gate, Emily floats several more complicated scenarios; asking if someone can be happy despite a miserable relationship, if miserable people necessarily get into equally miserable relationships, or if two people miserable in the same way can somehow contort themselves into their mutually-agreeable form of bliss together. But first things first. We define 'misery' in clear terms, then call out the 'elephant in the room' with regard to whether COVID lockdowns have wrought more relationship misery even among typically happy couples. What about couples who argue constantly, aren't they inherently miserable...or not necessarily? What happens when people who love drama get into relationships...does misery always ensue? Does relationship misery have to be a permanent state, or does it ebb and flow? Can it be cured completely? Can two miserable people alleviate each other's misery by finding love together? What are some practical ways people unwittingly doom their relationships to misery? And the biggest question of all...what twisted mindsets in today's post-modern world are contributing to record rates of relationship misery? Meanwhile, does dorkiness stave off misery? Well, after the dust clears from this crazy episode, the one certainty is that YOU don't want to end up in a miserable relationship yourself. Get a plan to fight back against the miserable statistics by talking to me for free. Just click the red button in the upper right hand corner at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

 Episode 60--X & Y On The Fly--Happy Relationship Or Miserable One? | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: Unknown

Last week on The Mountain Top podcast I said out loud that I had never met anyone in a happy relationship who was miserable. That concept is worth a deeper discussion, and who better to have it with than the very woman I'm in a happy relationship with? Now obviously, one can be perfectly happy without being in any relationship at all, for sure. But right out of the gate, Emily floats several more complicated scenarios; asking if someone can be happy despite a miserable relationship, if miserable people necessarily get into equally miserable relationships, or if two people miserable in the same way can somehow contort themselves into their mutually-agreeable form of bliss together. But first things first. We define 'misery' in clear terms, then call out the 'elephant in the room' with regard to whether COVID lockdowns have wrought more relationship misery even among typically happy couples. What about couples who argue constantly, aren't they inherently miserable...or not necessarily? What happens when people who love drama get into relationships...does misery always ensue? Does relationship misery have to be a permanent state, or does it ebb and flow? Can it be cured completely? Can two miserable people alleviate each other's misery by finding love together? What are some practical ways people unwittingly doom their relationships to misery? And the biggest question of all...what twisted mindsets in today's post-modern world are contributing to record rates of relationship misery? Meanwhile, does dorkiness stave off misery? Well, after the dust clears from this crazy episode, the one certainty is that YOU don't want to end up in a miserable relationship yourself. Get a plan to fight back against the miserable statistics by talking to me for free. Just click the red button in the upper right hand corner at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

 Episode 59--X & Y On The Fly--His Masculine Side, Her Feminine Side | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: Unknown

Everyone has heard about how men have a feminine side and women a masculine one. How true is that? And if it's the case, how does the concept typically manifest itself? Is it a good thing, or is it something we would be better off minimizing the effects of? And wait a minute...are the traits and behaviors that we somewhat automatically consider masculine or feminine really such, or are they simply human? What if all of this is just a social construct to begin with? But what if it isn't? Then what? Does that change the whole perspective? I mean, if masculinity is 'toxic' as we're led to believe nowadays, why are so many women trying to act like men? What if we all migrated toward the feminine instead? But can't there be such a thing as 'toxic femininity' in that case? After all, is femininity always 'soft' and inherently innocuous? And what of the idea that masculine dominance is sexy to women...how can that be? How come there are tomboys but no such thing as a tomgirl? What do single moms have to do with all of this? Stay tuned for the trait we've never really considered feminine before, but just might be...and we make a solid case for it. But all the while we're the same couple of dorks you know and love, who may or may not have knocked back a couple before hitting 'record' on this episode. Find the right relationship or dramatically improve the one you're already in. It all starts with a phone visit with us, free for 25 minutes. https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

 Episode 59--X & Y On The Fly--His Masculine Side, Her Feminine Side | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: Unknown

Everyone has heard about how men have a feminine side and women a masculine one. How true is that? And if it's the case, how does the concept typically manifest itself? Is it a good thing, or is it something we would be better off minimizing the effects of? And wait a minute...are the traits and behaviors that we somewhat automatically consider masculine or feminine really such, or are they simply human? What if all of this is just a social construct to begin with? But what if it isn't? Then what? Does that change the whole perspective? I mean, if masculinity is 'toxic' as we're led to believe nowadays, why are so many women trying to act like men? What if we all migrated toward the feminine instead? But can't there be such a thing as 'toxic femininity' in that case? After all, is femininity always 'soft' and inherently innocuous? And what of the idea that masculine dominance is sexy to women...how can that be? How come there are tomboys but no such thing as a tomgirl? What do single moms have to do with all of this? Stay tuned for the trait we've never really considered feminine before, but just might be...and we make a solid case for it. But all the while we're the same couple of dorks you know and love, who may or may not have knocked back a couple before hitting 'record' on this episode. Find the right relationship or dramatically improve the one you're already in. It all starts with a phone visit with us, free for 25 minutes. https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As they say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

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