The Art of Charm

How can toxic people make you feel like you are losing your mind, what can they do to turn your coworkers and friends against you, and what is the best way to deal with them before the damage gets out of control, potentially leading you to lose a job, a relationship, or even your friends. What to Listen For Why is it so important to remove toxic people from your professional or personal social circle?What two proven ways can you use to remove toxic people from your life?How can a toxic person make you doubt your decision to cut them out?How do toxic people work to turn your friends and coworkers against you?What is gas lighting and how do toxic people use it against you to make you feel like you are losing your sanity?What are the signs you can look for to know when you are being gas lit and what should you do if your recognize these signs today?How do you go about dealing with toxic family members to remove their toxic influence on you?What can you do to deal with toxic coworkers since how you handle it could impact your job security? It’s one thing to understand the behaviors of toxic individuals so you can recognize them immediately and prevent them from getting deep enough in your life to cause any real damage. Many of you, however, might just now be identifying which of the relationships in your life are indeed toxic, and that can make it a significantly more delicate and difficult problem to address. It is crucial to approach the problem as soon as you can to prevent the toxic individuals from doing any further damage, and once you do, you must stand by your decision. Toxic people can change, but the kind of change they must go through is not the kind of change that is going to happen after you allow them back into your life just because they got on their knees and begged for your forgiveness. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Eight Sleep is the first bed engineered to improve your sleep through dynamic cooling and heating, detailed sleep tracking. For a limited time, get $150 off your purchase when you go to eightsleep.com/charm Are you sick and tired of paying high interest rates on your credit cards? Go tolightstream.com/charm Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards. Resources from this Episode Episode 748: 7 Signs of a Toxic Relationship Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram

Toxic relationships exist in all of our lives in varying degrees, but defines a toxic relationship, how can you identify toxic relationships in your life, and what can you do if you find out you are exhibiting toxic behavior? What to Listen ForWhat is the definition of toxic when it comes to relationships?How do you recognize when a relationship is toxic and what can you do to rectify the situation or walk away from it?What are the 7 surefire ways of identifying a toxic person and what is the best way to handleHow can you recognize when you are the toxic half of a relationship and what can you start doing now to make sure you don’t ruin the relationship?What 2 simple questions can you ask yourself to determine if a relationship is toxic?Can you rid yourself completely of toxic relationships?What does it mean to be high value?What are 3 high values behaviors you can identify in non toxic individuals and how can you implement them in your own life?What does it mean to exhibit cooperative behavior and why is it important if you want healthy relationships and significantly less stress? Toxic individuals and toxic relationships are an unavoidable part of interacting with other people. It’s a numbers game - if you meet enough people you will eventually bring toxic people into your life. That’s ok, what matters is how you handle the situation once it’s in front of you. And while toxic relationships can have a damaging impact on your life in a variety of ways, it’s important to remember that the toxic individuals are still human, and aren’t necessarily bad - they’re just bad for you. We all go through phases in our lives and each of these phases asks different things of us and of those people we bring into our lives. It’s important for you to be conscious of what is good for you and what is detrimental, and just because a relationship or friendship is toxic for you at one time it does not necessarily mean that person can never be a part of your life. Establish boundaries, allow yourself to forgive from time to time, and prioritize your health and your needs - always put your oxygen mask on before helping the person next to you. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Check out squarespace.com/charm for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain” Resources from this Episode Episode 740: How Defined Values Lead to Long-term Happiness | w/ Russ Harris Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram

We’ve all heard the phrase, “Fortune favors the bold” right? But what does it mean to live your life with boldness, how is it related to fear and the overcoming of fear, and in what ways is it different from simply having confidence? What to Listen ForDo you have to be confident in order to be bold and why should you want to develop your boldness?What can you do on a daily basis to practice boldness?What steps can you give your children so they can develop strength and boldness in order to better succeed in life?What stands in the way of people bringing boldness into their relationships?How can not being your authentic self damage your relationships and prevent you from moving up in your professional life?How much time is too much time spent trying to improve toxic relationships in your life before it’s acceptable to walk away from them?How can you be more authentic in your relationships and how can being less authentic damage your relationships?If you are facing a loss what can you start doing to cope with the loss to ensure you’re still able to be happy?If you feel like you need a break from socializing, will it damage your relationships to take time off to recharge?How do you know if your social circle truly has your back?What can you do to maintain long distance friendships if you feel like you’re bad at it? If confidence comes from exposing yourself to the unknown and the unfamiliar until it becomes familiar, boldness is the willingness to act in the face of fear and uncertainty. So, in order to develop either one you must be willing to take action. None of us starts at zero - we all have some level of confidence and boldness to begin with, but to improve them we must take action. Practicing boldness will allow you to further increase your confidence, and increasing your confidence unlocks limitless potential in your life. But like any muscle or skill, if they are left alone they will begin to wither. Confidence and boldness must be exercised and practiced regularly in order to keep them growing, so get out there and start living your life with boldness. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Eight Sleep is the first bed engineered to improve your sleep through dynamic cooling and heating, detailed sleep tracking. For a limited time, get $150 off your purchase when you go to eightsleep.com/charm Are you sick and tired of paying high interest rates on your credit cards? Go to lightstream.com/charm Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards. Resources from this Episode Gia Helena Living with Boldness Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram

We all go through various acts in our lives, and each act carries with it its own challenges and relationships, so how can you take the experience, battle scars, and lessons you learned in one act as you transition into the next? What to Listen ForHow did Kobe Bryant’s relationship with Phil Jackson influence his Wizenard series of books?Why is it important to embrace the adversity in life rather than avoiding it?What are the biggest life lessons Kobe wants you to take away from his Wizenard book series?Is vulnerability a sign of weakness?How does having children change you as a person and the way you perceive yourself?How can an unwillingness to go the extra mile actually be indicative of a fear of failure rather than simply avoiding extra work?How do you assemble an inner circle of people you can trust?If championships were Kobe Bryant’s Mt Everest in the past, what is his Mt Everest now and how is he going to conquer it?Who are Kobe Bryant’s mentors as he enters the 2nd act of his life? Life is a journey, not a destination, and if you look at your own journey you can usually split it up into segments, each with its own defining theme or challenge you had to overcome. The wonderful aspect of looking at your life in this way is that it allows you to identify what you learned and the strengths you gained from each segment. Every challenge you overcome in life strengthens you, grants you more wisdom, and makes you a more capable human overall. Adversity in life is key to strengthening you physically, mentally, and emotionally. We should not try to avoid adversity, but to seek it, embrace it, and rely on it to make us better. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Granity Studios The Wizenard Series: Training Camp The Mamba Mentality Kobe Bryant on Twitter Kobe Bryant on Instagram Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram

Positive psychology is a relatively new area of study and it’s garnered a ton of attention over the last few years - but what exactly is positive psychology, how is it connected to the relationships we have, and what can you start doing today to find more fulfillment, happiness, and success in life? What to Listen ForWhat are the core teachings of positive psychology and how can you implement them to get through the lows of life?What is the danger of identifying yourself with work or hobbies or relationships and if those are not ideal, where should you draw your identity from?Rob Mack touches on cognitive agility and emotional regulation and why those two ideas help explain why so many people suffer from addictionWhy is it unhealthy to perceive relationships as something to “complete” you and how should you look at them instead?What can you say to someone who is clearly playing the victim and help them move beyond it?What is the one thing we know about the effective therapies around the world and how can you use it to ensure you don’t push people away?Why can comparing yourself to others be detrimental to your happiness and how can you avoid the comparison trap?What can you do to make life cooperate with you and make those challenging times more manageable?How can you interact with toxic people in a manner that allows you to maintain your positive attitude? Happiness is both a choice itself, as well as the result of choices you make in various areas of your life. To be as happy as you want to be, you must take full responsibility for everything in your life, and that includes everything that happens to you. The more blame you try to shift onto other people and things, the more power you give away, and that power is what enables you to choose your happiness. On top of that, the people you spend time with absolutely have an influence over your ability to choose your happiness, making it harder or easier to make that choice. You can be happy and fulfilled around toxic people, but if it’s easier to be happy when you’re around people who support and encourage you and choose to engage you in positive conversations, why would you want to spend your time with anything but? A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Go to untuckit.com or visit one of UNTUCKit’s 50 stores across the US and Canada. Use promo code CHARM for 20% off your first purchase. Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Check out squarespace.com/CHARM for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain” Joybird is premium quality furniture, customized exactly how you want it. Go to joybird.com/CHARM and receive an exclusive offer for 25% off your first order by using the code CHARM. Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan. Resources from this Episode Happiness from the Inside Out: The Art and Science of Fulfillment Rob Mack Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram

Chemistry is often cited by many as the defining factor in what they look for when venturing into the world of dating - but is it the most important factor when it comes to the success of long term relationships, and what can you do to maximize the chances of finding the one while ensuring you waste as little time as possible? What to Listen ForWhat dating apps are the best for establishing good connections?How do women’s preferences differ from men’s when it comes to dating and how do you take them into account when getting to know new people?What are the advantages and disadvantages of online dating and what can you do to mitigate the potential damage caused by the disadvantages?Is compatibility or chemistry more important in the long run and how should you be viewing both when it comes to looking for what you want?What one simple method can you use to break things off with someone you just met and are not interested in?How can you look at dating in a way that stops making it feel like a waste of your time and energy if you haven’t found what you’re looking for? Relationships can be hard. Many of us have heard that, whether it’s from family or friends or coworkers. But relationships can also be easy… if you allow them to be. In fact, most of the time a relationship with someone you’re thinking about spending the rest of your life with should be easy. That person should accept you for who you are and understand you as an individual. You’re on a team, working together to make the relationship work. This is why compatibility is so important, and arguably more so than chemistry. Chemistry will make for great memories and amazing high’s, but compatibility will carry you through the years. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! GREATS designs classically inspired sneakers for men and women using luxury high quality materials and construction. Go to greats.com and use CHARM at checkout! Live a healthier, happier, more well-rested life in just a few minutes a day with the Headspace app. Sign up now at headspace.com/CHARM to get a free month trial. Resources from this Episode Episode 742 - The Hidden Power of Relationships Evan Katz TED Talk The Paradox of Choice Evan Katz website Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram

Smartphones and the apps that exist on them have blown the doors wide open when it comes to creating options in your dating life as well as giving you the (sometimes false) perception of keeping in touch with friends. But what are the drawbacks of relying on all these algorithms to meet new people, how can you ensure you’re actually nurturing the personal and professional relationships you already have, and what does the science tell us about the current state of our social lives? What to Listen ForAre you more likely to meet your significant other on your own or through friends, and what does this mean for you?How have dating apps both improved and damaged the world of dating?Why can information overload have a negative impact on your love life and what can you do to control it?What are emotional bids and how can you use them to improve the relationships in your life, both platonic and romantic?What are Glue Guys/Girls and how do they hold teams together in a corporate/work environment, and what can you do to become one, reducing your chance of getting laid off and increasing your chance of getting that raise/promotion?How do gratitude and asking for help play an important role in the formation of strong bonds, and how can you start using both today to improve your relationships?Why is the act of validating others’ feelings so powerful, whether in a personal or professional setting, and why should you start doing it immediately?What one thing can you do to defuse gossip on the spot when someone can’t seem to stop gossiping to you about someone? At a surface level, romantic and professional relationships couldn’t appear more different: the intimacy, the way you speak to one another, the activities you engage in, etc. But the beauty of human connection is on a fundamental level we all want the same things. We want to be appreciated, we want to be valued, and we want to feel as if our thoughts and feelings matter. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! GREATS designs classically inspired sneakers for men and women using luxury high quality materials and construction. Go to greats.com and use CHARM at checkout! Live a healthier, happier, more well-rested life in just a few minutes a day with the Headspace app. Sign up now at headspace.com/CHARM to get a free month trial. Resources from this Episode “The National Survey of Health and Social Life” aka The Chicago Sex Survey Why Emotional Connection Makes or Breaks a Relationship Episode 719 Turning Toward Emotion Episode 720 How to Improve Your Workplace Communication Episode 721 What Matters Most in a Difficult Conversation Episode 722 Wall Street Journal: Baseball’s Winning Glue Guys Beyond Reciprocity: Gratitude and Relationships in Everyday Life Social Isolation in America Psychopath, Sociopath, or Idiots: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram

Filtering the right people into your life is a skill that can set you on the path to success if you can do it well, and failure if you do it poorly - but how do other people have such a strong influence on your life and what can you do to make sure the people in your life aren’t leading you down a road to failure and discontent? What to Listen ForHow do the people you surround yourself impact your ability to be happy and accomplish your goals?How can your life be influenced by the friends of friends you don’t even know and what can you do to mitigate the harm they cause?What are “value vampires” and how can you recognize them early on so they don’t waste your valuable time and energy?What does it mean to be a high value individual and how can your pursuit of it help you avoid pain, suffering, and massive hits to your confidence?What do high value individuals do that set them apart from others and lead them to be pursued by everyone else?What is a “friend audit” and how can you perform one to ensure you’re not spending time with the wrong people who are bringing you down or holding you back?Can you avoid the influence people around you have (especially when you work with them all day)?What is the difference between gossiping and venting and why is one dangerous while the other is healthy?What one question can you use to disarm people who try to gossip with you and shift the conversation into a constructive direction? When you allow a low value people into your life, you don’t just bring them into your life, but their friends, their problems, baggage, low value behavior, and values and beliefs. We as humans are influenced by our surroundings more than we think, and it can be a scary thought to confront the possibility that the people closest to you are doing the most harm when it comes to your ability to move forward in life and be happy. As scary and as hard as it might be, performing an audit of your social circle could be the first step in helping you achieve your goals and/or get unstuck if you feel your progress has stalled for a while. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards. Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Check out squarespace.com/CHARM for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain Resources from this Episode Episode 693: Identifying Low Value Behaviors Episode 694: Becoming High Value Episode 719: Why Emotional Connection Makes or Breaks a Relationship Episode 738: What Defines Happiness Episode 739: The Key to Happiness Episode 740: How Defined Values Lead to Long-term Happiness Episode 741: Train Your “Happy” | Q&A w/ Christoph Schnedlitz of hiMoment hiMoment App Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter

Happiness is not a destination, but what does it mean to enjoy the journey, especially when the journey is bound to have rough patches, and what daily habit can you start doing now to make the journey a happy one? What to Listen ForHow can journaling improve your overall happiness and what one question can you use as a prompt everyday to get you started on the right track?Why do the big moments we look forward to (graduation, wedding, promotion, etc) have little to no impact on our overall happiness?Is the difference between happy people and unhappy people the events in their lives or the way they perceive the events?If happiness is a choice, what can you do to maximize that choice?How do your friends, family, and coworkers influence your ability to be happy?If you’re going through a break up, what can you do to help mitigate the pain and sadness you feel so you don’t get stuck?How can striving for success for the wrong reasons lead to you failing to be happy?What is contributing to all of the misinformation about happiness?How do you deal with the endless potential comparison forced upon us by social media? Your happiness is like a muscle, one that needs regular training in order to get stronger and one that can atrophy if it is left alone for too long. You’re not going to get stronger if you train once or twice a year, so when it comes to your happiness, you’re not going to get happier if you rely on the occasional event throughout the year. The biggest difference between happy people and unhappy people is not the events in their lives, but the way they perceive the events in their lives. If you allow the events to determine how happy you can be, you’ll never be as happy as someone who decides to be happy regardless of the events in their lives. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Go to untuckit.com or visit one of UNTUCKit’s 50 stores across the US and Canada. Use promo code CHARM for 20% off your first purchase. Resources from this Episode Episode 738: What Defines Happiness Episode 739: The Key to Happiness Episode 740: How Defined Values Lead to Long-term Happiness hiMoment App Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter

Happiness is not meant to be a permanent state you exist in, but if you’re not meant to just feel good all the time, what is the end goal of creating our happiness and how do we approach the inevitable pain and suffering we all face in life? What to Listen ForWhy can negative emotions be your best friend when it comes to your happiness?Russ Harris debunks the popular myths about happiness and explains how they can actually lead you to be miserableIn what ways are meaning and purpose related to your ability to maintain your happiness in the long term?How does Russ Harris define a rich and meaningful life that leads to an overall feeling of happiness?What can you do to be more comfortable and accepting of “negative” emotions and how does doing so help you avoid suffering?What is the difference between values, virtues, and morals?Why is it so important to define your values if you want to lead a rich and meaningful life full of happiness?Russ Harris explains what the “reality gap” and “reality slap” are and how your awareness of them can lead you to better handle life’s challengesWhat is the magic wand question and how can you use it to narrow down your most important valuesHow do you translate values into goals and action plans to ensure you don’t stagnate?4 One of the most popular myths revolving around happiness is this idea that once you “achieve” it you’ll transcend feelings like anger, sadness, pain, and hate, but these are all part of the full depth of human experience. To attempt to remove them from your experience is to remove a part of your humanity. We utilize all of our feelings and emotions to better understand ourselves and the world we live in. Instead, we want to change the way we look at such emotions, strive to understand what is causing you to feel unpleasant emotions, and make better choices about how you respond to them when you start feeling them. Finally, we want to learn to look inward for explanations instead of reacting outward with blame and spite. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Check out squarespace.com/CHARM for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain” Joybird is premium quality furniture, customized exactly how you want it. Go to joybird.com/CHARM and receive an exclusive offer for 25% off your first order by using the code CHARM. For a limited time, Postmates is giving our listeners $100 of free delivery credit for your first 7 days. To start your free deliveries, download the app RIGHT NOW and use code “CHARM2019” Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan. Resources from this Episode The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living by Russ Harris Mindfulness Myths on YouTube The Choice Point on YouTube ACT Questions and Answers: A Practitioner's Guide to 150 Common Sticking Points in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy by Russ Harris Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter

Happiness is one of those ideas that has an endless number of quotes about where it comes from (and where it does not). We’ve heard many of them so many times we just wave them off and roll our eyes before jumping back on the hamster wheel and chasing the next piece of cheese, completely unaware of the trap we put ourselves in, but what does science say about what makes us happy, what do you need to start focusing on today in order to achieve your happiness, and what must you be aware of in order to give yourself the best chance of a long, healthy, and happy life? What to Listen ForWhy is it so difficult for us as humans to determine what makes us happy?AJ explains why reaching milestones in life or attaining your goals does not equate to overall happinessHow has technology seemingly put happiness further out of reach?Johnny explains how cognitive biases keep us from achieving true happinessWhat is “miswanting” and why do we constantly sabotage ourselves by doing it?What is the Harvard Study on Adult Development and how can you use the findings to achieve your own happiness?How are happiness & health connected and what can you start doing today so you don’t lose both? AJ explains why our focus on achievement as a society can be detrimental to our development when we’re youngWhy are relationships so beneficial to our health and how can you determine whether or not yours are?If you are lonely, why can it be more difficult to find the resources to build the connections science has shown to be so vital to our long term health and happiness?Why is rejection and the handling of it so valuable in today’s society, especially if you don’t want to be lonely and unhappy?What are the physiological benefits of spending time with people you care about? There is an obvious reason reaching your goals or buying the next great thing does not bring you happiness - if only one thing in your life changes, the other 99% of your life is still the same. You can’t change one thing or achieve one thing or buy one thing and think it’s going to improve every other part of your life. Even if you could “upgrade” every part of your environment you’d still be the same person but with different surroundings, so if you’re not happy now, all those upgrades aren’t going to change who you are inside. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards. Resources from this Episode Episode 738: What Defines Happiness Harvard study, almost 80 years old, has proved that embracing community helps us live longer, and be happier Social Isolation in America: Changes in Core Discussion Networks over Two Decades Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter

It’s fair to say that happiness is one of the most important goals we can pursue in life because not much else matters if you’re not deriving some happiness from this journey we are all on - but how do we define happiness, what can we do to improve our overall happiness, and how might we be sabotaging ourselves in the pursuit of it? What to Listen ForWhat is the definition of happiness?What is the difference between contentment and pleasure with how they relate to your pursuit of happiness?How does having meaning in your life weave into your ability to be happy?AJ and Johnny explain the significance of being present and how it demands regular practice in order to make it stickWhat are the three primary influencing factors in your happiness?How important are the circumstances in which you live when it comes to your overall happiness?Are your genetics the biggest or smallest contributor to our happiness?Why are your mindset and actions the most important factor of happiness even though they’re not the biggest contributing factor?If happiness comes down to leading a good, meaningful life then how do you design such a life to maximize your happiness?What is the Vice-Joy-Dedication Gradient and how does it relate to your ability to find purpose and meaning in life?What do all the successful individuals we look up to have in common and how can you implement it immediately?How can you find meaning in your work if you hate what you do?On average, what percentage of our waking lives do we spend daydreaming and how does it impact our ability to be happy and successful? Attaining and maintaining happiness in life is about much more than the simple joy we feel when we engage in acts and events that bring us pleasure. Much of it comes down to the why behind our actions and goals. If we don’t have a deeper motivation for our day to day lives we can struggle to find happiness in the sometimes seemingly insignificant things we do, like a job you hate but one you need in order to get to the one you want, or suffering through brutal workouts in order to maintain your health and achieve your fitness goals. Always be willing to ask yourself, “Why am I doing this?” until you can get to a point where there is no deeper answer. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Go to squarespace.com/charm for a free trial and use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. GREATS designs classically inspired sneakers for men and women using luxury high quality materials and construction. Go to greats.com Resources from this Episode 736: How to Rewire your Brain for Success | w/ Lisa Wimberger 735: The Best Ways to Rewrite Bad Habits w/ Charles Duhigg Happiness: it’s not just your genes, stupid! Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth So Good They Can't Ignore You by Cal Newport Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter

You asked and we answered! We took the three highest rated interviews from 2018 and put them into a special New Years Eve episode just for you! We kick it off with the powerhouse David Goggins, the former Navy SEAL, ultramarathon runner, and author of “Can’t Hurt Me.” We think he’s the best voice to listen to when you can’t get your ass out of bed. He has a lot to say about committing to yourself. Next up is our interview with Dr. Steven Hayes, the leading clinical psychologist in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy - which is all about authentically accepting who you are and working on the best parts of you. Dr. Hayes dispels the “boosting self-esteem myth” and then offers a great alternative that helps everyone (including us!) work through life’s challenging moments. Finally, we leave you with the crazy conversation we had with power investor and entrepreneur Oren Klaff. He’s going to take you into the “Croc” brain and explain why it has an iron grip on your behavior in social settings - he’ll even let you know how to use it to your advantage. We loved having you join us this year as the Art of Charm Podcast tried out some new things. Don’t forget to chime in and tell us what YOU want us to explore in 2019. We love your feedback and your questions, so drop us a line at www.theartofhcharm.com/questions. Happy New Year! - AJ, Johnny, and the entire Art of Charm Team A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Netsuite takes growing businesses and organizations to new heights. Get NetSuite’s guide “Crushing the Five Barriers to Growth” when you go to netsuite.com/charm

Building new habits is typically not as simple as doing something different each day - sometimes we need to rewrite the stories we tell ourselves, and that’s where neurosculpting comes in, but what is neurosculpting? how can we use it to our advantage? and what can we start doing today to begin removing the barriers in our minds that stop us from developing the habits for the success? What to Listen ForLisa tells the story of how her experience with seizures led her to dive headfirst into neurosculptingWhat is neurosculpting and how can you use Lisa’s methods to develop healthy habits and rewrite the stories in your life that are holding you back from success and happiness?How can one simple act dissipate the stress & tension throughout your body and allow you to roll with the punches of life?What does it mean to “orient to safety” and how can you use it to help prevent failure in building a new habit?How can you train yourself so fear no longer stands in your way?What are the 5 steps to rewriting the stories that are stopping you from building new habits?Lisa explains the best way to develop a morning routine by approaching the bedtime routine firstHow can you take advantage of neuroplasticity to amplify the reinforcement of new habits?What can you do if building a new habit is encroaching on your partner’s routine and/or expectations? Neurosculpting is a 5-step meditation process developed to take advantage of neuroplasticity, defined as the brain’s ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections to compensate for injury and disease and to adjust activities in response to new situations or to changes in an environment. When it comes to building new habits, you can use neurosculpting to reinforce the building of new patterns in your brain. Using neurosculpting in place of a brute force approach allows you to rewire your brain much faster and more efficiently, giving you more control over your life, happiness, and success. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Netsuite takes growing businesses and organizations to new heights. Get NetSuite’s guide “Crushing the Five Barriers to Growth” when you go to netsuite.com/charm “Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home.” Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today! Resources from this Episode “Neurosculpting: A Whole-Brain Approach to Heal Trauma, Rewrite Limiting Beliefs, and Find Wholeness” by Lisa Wimberger “New Beliefs, New Brain: Free Yourself from Stress and Fear” by Lisa Wimberger The Neurosculpting Institute Charles Duhigg | Smarter Faster Better (Episode 552) Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter

Building a new habit can be difficult if you approach it with the wrong tools and misinformation, but what does the science tell us about forming new habits, what are the right tools you need when it comes to successful habit building, and what can you start doing today to make sure you’re not getting in your own way? What to Listen ForWhy is the community you surround yourself with so important to the development of new habits and the perpetuation of bad ones?Charles Duhigg explains why standard to-do lists are terrible for productivity and what an effective replacement looks likeWhat is the habit loop and how can you use the knowledge of it to change any habit you want?How can you use the science of small wins to start making changes to your habits immediately?What are some tricks you can use to stay motivated when building a new habit or breaking an old one?How are intentional choices related to motivation when it comes to the psychology of routine and satisfaction?Why is it almost impossible to “break” a habit and what should we do instead if we want to get rid of bad habits?How can you determine the cues of bad habits so you can take them into account and prevent the bad habits from being triggered in the first place?Charles Duhigg explains the one thing ex-smokers do that stops them from relapsingWhat are mental models and how is our ability to create them directly related to our success in life?  Many of us are led to believe the formation of new habits is accomplished through a brute force approach via willpower, aka that it is entirely internal. However, the science behind habit building says otherwise - our external environment and the people around us play a significant role. If you build an environment conducive to success it becomes infinitely easier to develop new habits and replace old ones. This can mean anything from identifying the cues that trigger bad habits and removing them, or replacing the bad habit with a good one. It can also mean surrounding yourself with a community that focuses on the habit you’re trying to build - for example, joining a weekly meetup group for writers instead of relying on your own willpower to sit down and write consistently.  A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan. Safe For Work is an advice show that reminds you that while your office may be crazy, you don’t have to be. Check it out at: https://wondery.com/shows/safe-for-work/ Resources from this Episode "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg “Smart Faster Better” by Charles Duhigg Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter