Why I do not Consider Myself to be part of any Fetish Communities (Podcast)

Summary: I'll start off by stating that I realize and understand that the concept of "community" is important to some people. My aim isn't to trivialize it for those that hold that concept near and dear. My aim is to explain why *I* personally don't buy into it and why *I* choose not to formally involve myself in any sort of established or recognized "communities."  I feel I need to explain my reasons because I get asked quite often, why I do not embrace the concept and I guess I come off as stand-offish and that is not my intention at all. So in no order of importance, here are my reasons for not being a community-ite. Drama, strife, and turmoil intensifies - This is a given because more than just the affected individuals are involved. The whole "community" gets involved and it's even expected that this is so. What starts out as in issue between 2 individuals quickly escalates to exponentially more people. Other community members have to weigh in, give advice, and feel the need to defend or attack those involved in the issue. Then the members expect the "community leaders" to step in and take action for or against the involved individuals. If I had an issue with someone, I would want to resolve the issue privately, discreetly, and without extraneous people getting involved. Witch hunts - It takes one person in the "community," and it doesn't matter if the allegations have been throughly investigated or not, before the hoard of indignant, pitchfork wielding members come out for blood. It's even more brutal when the accused is not a member of said community. There would be no issue if there were some sort of process to make sure any allegation had some merit. Most of the time, emotions run high (driven by a desire to witness drama or someone wanting to be a Captain Save-a-Ho or a community leader wanting to look leader-ish) and any semblance of fact finding takes second place to being loud, sanctimonious, and holier than thou. It's a big fat clusterfuck of a hot mess when the "community" is wrong in this respect. Not too many people are big enough to admit wrong doing and apologize. It's also interesting that it is the same, few, select individuals in the "community" that seems to have issues with practically EV-ER-REE one else. If they aren't beefing with someone, they are fanning the fires of someone else's beef with someone else. They also have some sort of insider knowledge as to whom is a predator or abuser and they spot them on a regular basis. These people keep the witch hunt cottage industry going. You probably know a few people like that in a community near you. Personal responsibility and accountability - These things go out of the window for many that attach themselves to a community. Instead of using common sense to ensure their own well being and protection, it becomes the responsibility of the "community" to do so. I'm not saying all members of a community do this but as I listen to those that have had issues at events or venues, they seem to place the blame on some other entity for their circumstances. As they threw caution to the wind, this entity (namely the community) should have been looking out for their safety, protecting them against abusers, predators, and the boogey man. This isn't the fault of the "community." It's the fault of the individuals who thought that the community was going to be some sort of armor against bad people and bad situations. I'd much rather keep my distance from these type of people.  .  .but when you are part of the same "community," you're kinda stuck with them. Kinda like a bizzaro blended family. False sense of security - Following up my previous point, the "community" gives some a false sense of security. Most community functions/events are vetted. A vetted event doesn't necessarily mean that the event is devoid of dangerous situations and/or dangerous people. I've been vetted for community events simply by eating a burger ONE TIME with the leaders.