Adjudicate Self – TNC 512

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Summary: Notes de 'John Kooz'.... adjudicate self? Repurcussions?! 0408 Adjusticate Self? Legality...Is it 'Just'? Assault Battery Terror...Dolt had Snow-mobile Legal Troubles  - TUES Life without Laws? wrote this on 2013/01/15. I realized that I fear likely 98% of  all the people in the world.  Meaning I feel like about 98% of all people are unsafe.  How are they unsafe? They have problems they’d want me to solve that would waste my time and money They have toxic beliefs that are wrong, stupid, harmful, fucked up, and/or broken they’re unintelligent they’re too intelligent and power-hungry they’re greedy they’re capitalists they won’t buy me a meal nor a drink, other people don’t care about people ( I drove around homeless people in car, i bought some people drink) I care about people too much at times when in CERTAIN modes. a person showing me a gym said she saved best for last and showed me the pool at end.  i think i save best for last so when go to a place the ‘coaching helping others mode’ always happens FIRST because that’s what i detest and after that layer is removed can do more things I like. BUT I DON’T WANT TO FUCKING DO HELPING OTHERS COACHING LAYER thing ffs. i was realizing that I don’t dislike the neighbors around here. True.  i don’t know them adn also don’t want to know them. TRUE. I don’t have a job, a career that earns, but i work nonstop, so I don’t feel almost like I have permission to meet some people. I was reflecting on how much I fear law and police.  not because bad.  I do most things correctly and am not a criminimal. true. but police have violated the usa 4th amendment, given vehicular tickets in unwarranted ways, and seem to be more dangerous than anything. The time I was in aus no one knew where I was (NO ONE) and that was the last time (heinously 3 years ago) I enjoyed reading and vioce work and it was marvelous and delightful and fun and relaxing and felt safe.  That was beautiful and safe and awesome.  I have never seen avatar, nor likely never will, but recalled that some of those species of peopel lived in the forest.  I like nature.  It’s safer than people. I hate politics. hate that. but I am kind of waking up to how things work and seeing how extremely fucked up they are. I think capitalism is FUCKED UP. someone does work get’s paid a lot or a little and goes off and hoards that huge amount and then gets multiple houses they don’t need and fancier more expensive cars.  holy shit. that’s fucked up.  why the fuck should anyone else earn more than anyone else? okay now I am reflecting on my MMO experience where I LOVED earning gold. I didn’t earn as much as others but I always had enough and I did that on own and that felt great. IRL i haven’t had acccess to consistent earning EVER.  EVER!  ever! I had gigs that earned or 2-3 month things or 9 month things but never enough to pay cheap rent and food and survive on. THAT makes me feel very suicidal.  But i guess another part of me is like….I don’t really believe in money.  currency is just a man-made thing.  money is fabricated.  But I hate gifts and I like earning or being given something and then investing in something on my own. (TRUE).  I consider this amount of money I recieve as technically as gift aas basically compensation for should’ve having sued those people or something. Maybe I am afraid of people framing me as a broken, dilapitadted, impoverisehd person.  But I’m not, I’ve done too much work. I thought about leading semianrs and thought I could be good at that.  But that would feel hokey. fuck I feel like shit.  the thing that made me feel like shit is ‘getting food stamps or some special impoverished sectionalized order for poverty where you have certain living conditions’ . I don’t want that.  I KNOW that’s toxic.  Look at my france album. look what I did there.  I walked around. waited waited waited 96 hours in airprot finally found a place or something.