Saved By The Boys Podcast

A sexuality expert is claiming that parents need to ask for their child’s permission to change their dirty diaper…. which will set up a “culture of consent.”

Wow….just, wow… I’m the only non-father figure on Saved by the Boys and this just PREPOSTEROUS. Imagine living a life where this is the type of ideas and thoughts that come to your mind.

I completely agree with establishing a “culture of consent” with all the fucked up shit going on in the world, but it doesn’t start when you’re involuntarily shitting yourself. Not once was I zonked out on the couch watching Barney or balls deep in a sand box and someone asked for my consent to clean poop out of my butt, and that is totally fine.

We are taking this to an extreme level. People love to be outraged. This outrages me. Between this, or the dudes that splash candy red paint on their bulges and say we can’t circumcise babies anymore because they can’t talk, or the kids in school saying we need to change the mascot of George Washington University from the Colonials to the god damn Hippos, because Colonials triggers students. Yes, that is also the first thing I think of when I think of our first president. A Hippo. You nailed it. Get your vape pen and have a cry in the make-shift closet in your library and get over it.

Anyways, I got off track. Parents, lend me your ear… when your kid shits himself/herself… change their diaper… please. Nobody wants to smell it and they don’t want to sit in it. Don’t be an asshole.

-Scar

Prosecutors: Naked man with feces on hands robbed gas station at gunpoint, damaged cars

We’re coming to you semi-live from Clay County, Missouri, folks! Clay County is the home of 25-year-old Jeremy McNack and boy, did he have a helluva week in June or what?? Let’s break this headline down…

McNack was having himself a day on June 27th attempting to rob a Shell gas station at gunpoint while wearing nothing but a pink shirt and flip flops (100% ZERO underwear.) Now, this particular get-up can be absolutely dynamite for the right woman (sup, ladies?) but this dude has no business strutting about town in this.

Authorities realize soon after he matches the description for another robbery a few days before at a different Shell station. McNack was ultimately taken into custody at 3 A.M. while damaging classic cars in a parking garage whilst completely naked and covered in feces.

Shocking to say, McNack was taken in for a completely mental evaluation and I can only imagine what they find. Cheers to you, Sir. Have a day!

-Scar

Folks! This thing that started out as a simple I’m gonna help my friends has turned into something more. Four weeks ago I basically hired myself as the only intern and the bosses didn’t say no! Now fast forward we are getting thousands of impressions on Facebook and Twitter. To think it’s only just the beginning. Not to mention in the top 165 comedy podcasts on iTunes in one day!

Stay tuned folks, this ride is going to be fun. I’m not going to spoil any surprises but be on the lookout for shirts and other cool things 26 year olds like myself waste money on.

Love you all,

Intern Dusty

There’s a company in Chicago, Illinois, that has designed a male romper, known as the RompHim and I could not be more upset. A bird could s*** in my mouth right now and I wouldn’t even notice.

If you don’t know what rompers are, they are an article of clothing worn by woman that is basically just a shirt and a pair of shorts sewn together. They kind of look like a pair of overalls with sleeves and less pants. In the right setting, it’s an awesome look for the ladies (Hey ladies, sup?)

But we’re going to have men wearing these damn things now? 100000% aboslutely-fucking-not. Don’t care. I will not stand for this. I am sick and tired of celebrities having such a huge influence on fashion. Cam Newton wears a damn romper to Coachella and now we all have to walk around dressed like infants?? Nope. No way. Not my America.

This company has raised over $100,000 and their goal was only $10,000. Just ridiculous.

I want no more talk of Male Rompers. Please and thank you.

Disclaimer: If I found a fire romper, I’d probably rock the hell out of it. Don’t @ me. Life is confusing.

-Scar.

Let me start by saying, I absolutely LOVE this move from Steve Harvey. He opens up production of the 5th season of his show by basically telling everyone to leave him the hell alone at all times. God damnit do I love this move! Steve Harvey is tired of your shit, guys. Steve Harvey doesn’t have time to be bothered by the faceless poors that make his television show a reality. Be gone, peasants!

He sends this entire email to his staff, then has the balls to end it with “no offense.” Hahahaha. I used to hate Steve Harvey with every ounce of my being. I find him absolutely dreadful on Family Feud. (Big time Louie Anderson guy, FWIW.) But this, this right here, has made me the biggest #GoHarveyGo guy on the planet. Miss USA screw-up and all. Hell, one of Harvey’s peons was probably bothering him with a story about their dumb kids or how their marriage is failing at home while he’s trying to prepare to read the final results of that pageant. How dare they. I might even start DVR’ing the Steve Harvey show. Steve Harvey 2020.

-Scar

NBC has officially added a series order to a new sitcom, A.P. Bio. The show, starring Always Sunny’s Glenn Howerton, is about a Philosophy Professor who misses out on his dream job and is stuck teaching a high school class and uses the class for his own purposes.

Howerton is an executive producer and writer for It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and my absolute favorite character, Dennis Reynolds. The show was renewed for two more seasons and he has admitted he “may not return” to the show, or else the show will have to take a long hiatus as he pursues this new venture. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Dennis is the glue that holds the gang together. Dennis is a self-proclaimed Golden God who is one of the most sociopathic, abrasive, histrionic characters in television history; someone I’ve come to relate to a lot over the years. What other character can offer these absolute fire quotes??

If you’ve never seen Always Sunny, you’re an absolute lunatic. Best show on television, don’t @ me.

For the sake of all that is holy, let’s hope season 12 wasn’t the last of Dennis Reynolds. (Fun Fact: he moves to North Dakota to be with a woman he met at Applebee’s. There’s your spoiler you filthy animals.)

-Scar

FULL STORY: http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/crime–law/florida-man-shows-church-his-genitals-says-lord-told/54G54Am010HQUHu2P2QABP/

Does this look like the face of a man who would flash an entire church on a whim? Well, folks, it sure does. Good ol’ Christopher Frey was being a good boy, praising the lord at a church in Palm Beach when he got a little tap on his shoulder. God had a plan for Christopher. Right in the middle of the service, Mr. Frey approached the front of the church, turned to the crowd, and dropped trou. He was under the impression he was doing a good deed, but as it turns out, many people think this is actually a bad thing.

I’m not really sure what’s got everyone in a fuss? The gentleman in question was just answering the call of the Lord and how dare anyone shame him for that. I was also under the impression that anything goes in God’s house. This is definitely a lesson learned for everyone here. The next time God shoots you a text in church and asks you to show everyone your business, just know it’s probably a prank and you better not fall for it. #JustAPrank

-Scar