Bold New Mom

I asked if you had any questions I could answer and you showed up in full force. One of many reasons I love you. Today I’m answering questions about everything from how to love your post-baby body to how to keep the intimacy alive in your marriage. Have another question? Feel free to post it here in the comments or email it to me and I’ll include it in the next round of questions and answers.

What does it mean to "find yourself" and is that a worthy endeavor or just an excuse people use for otherwise unusual behavior? This episode is all about why knowing yourself is an important part of intentional living and some simple exercises you can try if you want to know yourself better.

Everything you feel that is keeping you stuck is based on one of the two core fears I'm going to teach you about today. All bad behavior from yourself or other people is rooted in these same two core fears. The first is the fear of unworthiness and the second is the fear of missing out.

You don’t want to yell at your kids because you don’t like being “that mom” and you also don’t believe it’s good for them in the long run. But sometimes you just lose your patience and some days it’s harder than others. There is a reason for this. It’s your lower brain. Your lower brain memorizes behaviors, thoughts and feelings and repeats them. It’s concerned with immediate survival and helping you get more of what is pleasurable and avoid what is painful. It likes comfort and familiarity because that is what it has memorized. This lower brain is an amazing tool that helps you to be effective in many areas of your life while operating on “auto-pilot” but sometimes our memorized patterns are not what we want to keep doing. Such is the case if you have memorized that yelling at your kids is fast, easy, and gets results. So what to do? Well, first you must notice what’s happening. Observe the lower brain with the cerebral cortex (the higher brain). The higher brain is capable of overriding the lower brain but struggles to do so when it is tired. Observation and awareness of the lower brain will take it from feeling like it’s automatically happening to you, to noticing that you are choosing it. Make sure you do this with curiosity and not with judgement for yourself. Then, you must become aware of the thoughts that are creating the feelings driving your action. When you begin by choosing new thoughts, your actions and results will automatically follow. Give it a try!

This episode comes in response to questions from listeners about how to connect more deeply with other and how to feel comfortable when you're new and feeling excluded. It's human nature to want to be liked and noticed. But when we operate from a place of needing to be liked we open ourselves up to rejection and are less than authentic which is not an attractive trait. When you just decide to like others, be interested in others, and know that friendship is only a thought, that's when people are drawn to you and ironically you don't even need it then.

Today I'm sharing some insight about stress, hunger, and fatigue. Ever wonder if some of it is just in your mind? Or all of it? What is the difference? When you understand the difference between sensations and emotions (even when they feel the same) you'll know how to find a remedy that truly addresses the cause of your problem. Failing to recognize the true problem means your remedy is only a distraction and might have adverse consequences like weight gain, lack of motivation or inability to find solutions. Click play and let me explain...

As human beings we all have needs and we all have wants. There is nothing selfish or wrong with any of it. But many of us feel our wants and needs just happen to us and we believe that if people and things outside of us changed, we would have those desires fulfilled. I have found tremendous peace in realizing I can want things without needing them. Especially when it comes to other people's behaviors. Wanting and needing are not the same thing and your desires are within your control. As an LDS Life Coach I help my clients see that this is how the Savior lived and it's available to us as well. Listen up and you'll hear some examples of what I'm talking about in today's episode.

Today I'm introducing you to Lindsay Peterson, one of my beloved clients. Lindsay shares her insight with you and the changes she's experienced as she's applied the tools of intentional thinking and emotional management. Take a listen as you can probably relate to what she is going though. Beware. You might fall in love with her as I have. If you have any questions or want to reach out to her you can find her at lindsay.peterson80@gmail.com. Press play and lets do it mama.

We talk about "mommy guilt" like it's just something that comes with the role of being a mom. But it's not. It's not necessary and it's not helpful. It doesn't allow inspiration to find you. It keeps you blocked and frustrated and disconnected. Today I break down why it's a prevalent problem and help you think about it differently. Press play if you experience more mommy guilt than you want to.

We're here to be tested. Or are we? Didn't we all fail the test right away? There is no passing of the test. That's why I like to think about it differently. If you're not sure what a Mastermind is, neither was I until recently but check out today's episode and see if you agree with me. This life is a mastermind, not a test.

This is not a typical podcast episode. It's a talk I recorded especially for the young women of the Saint George 5th ward who will be listening to this under the starts at Girls Camp in a few weeks. I love sharing this message with youth and only wish I could be there in person. Have a lovely week girls and I'm hoping putting this out on iTunes will give some other youth a chance to hear it as well.

"I just want my husband to be happy." This sounds good and innocent and selfless. And sometimes it is. But many times it causes more problems for us (and our husbands) than we might realize. But never fear. I have some solutions for you today. Tune in to learn about the steps you can go through to get to the place where you will find peace which is, "I want him to be happy but I don't need him to be happy." Seriously. Amazing. Check this one out.

Every Tuesday I send out short bits of mom gold to your inbox if you're subscribed to my email list. Today I'm sharing some of the more popular messages I've sent. If you're not on the list, go to www.boldnewmom.com to sign up.

Hey there stay at home mom and others. Are you exhausted? Is there one big reason why or is it a bunch of little things that are hard to identify and even tougher to change? The way most people go about making decisions adds a tremendous amount of exhaustion and self doubt. In today's episode I'll explain some alternative ways to make decisions. Even the big ones. Check it out.

Emotions can be like a pebble dropped in the water and there is a ripple effect. Sometimes in life we need to feel sad or disappointed or bad in some way. But many times we layer additional negative emotions to them that keep us stuck. Anger, resistance, worry and guilt are secondary emotions that we invite when we don't pay attention. Today I'll talk to you about this cycle and how to stop getting stuck in it. And when what we're feeling is fun, peace, love or happiness, the goal is to layer on as many additional positive things as possible. Ultimately what you seek is joy. Doing this is easier than you might think. Click play and let me explain.