Jingle Friends: Holiday Movies & Specials

This week: a special message!

This week we talk about the Will Ferrell classic, Elf! Topics include The Shelfless Elf, quote-a-longs, the connection between Citizen Kane and the White Stripes, Elf 2, eating cotton balls, a fear of jacks-in-the-box, Maurice LaMarche’s burps, a Jovie we all know, grumpy children’s authors, and Baby It’s Cold Outside. Editor notes: the independent movie mentioned is Winter Passing (co-starring Zooey Deschanel!) and the blood fraud company we discuss is Theranos.

The Jingle Friends get rustic this week with the Waltons Christmas movie, The Homecoming. See how Barbara Bush wanted us to live! Topics include Fat Cat three-packs, fossilized shit, lecturing a cow, hair stretching, rustic masturbation, bosoms, soda with peanuts, bad hair dye jobs, Try On Dress I Got, incest, and smart, safe autoerotic asphyxiation.

Holy holidays, Jinggalos, it’s the classic Batman cartoon! What’s the Joker up to?! Topics this week include animals named after leaders, Sara’s love of Batman, our love of Mark Hamill, The Joker’s love of Batman, The Joker’s love of ballet lessons, Jeffrey, and long cartoon dog tongues.

This week we goof and gaff about a Rankin Bass classic about everyone’s favorite non-Michael Keaton snowman, Frosty. If you thought you knew everything you could learn about Frosty, first of all, how dare you, and second, you’re dead wrong. Topics include snow penises, twins, trash theft, Men with Hats, immaculate conception horrors, an ice cream monster man, and the sensual act of moving some stuff around. We love you!

This week we take on a Christmas classic, the original cartoon short Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas! Topics include: Zach’s love of Dr. Seuss, Sexual Seuss, sex for morale (specifically, with Stephen Yeun), your Jew score, alternate endings, Men in Black II, good dogs, Grinching, Francis Ford Coattails, and private librarians.

The Jingle Friends put their irreverent spin on a Christmas classic about a sad, jaded, bald little boy. Topics this week include terrible hateful kids, Charlie Brown’s mysterious age, jokes about kerning, the joys and dangers of eating snow, our favorite pieces of fabric, love with inanimate objects, and the good news about being sad. We love you!

We're talkin' about Bob's Burgers on Jingle Friends! What will they do when a man turns out to be CRAZY?! Will WE go crazy?!?!?!! Topics this week include: Bart Simpson the little Dennis the Menace-like boy, butt-pinching kids, snappin’ bra straps, How Naked Can I Get in Public, the fun of dry erase boards, kids with jobs, Squigglevision, bad Netflix summaries, quirky vibrators, and sex with robots. We. Love. YOU.

It's Britain vs. America in this Christmas-themed terrible excuse for a romantic comedy. Who will win?? Topics this week include poop misadventures, first edition books, Hugo Boss's dark past, dogs eating hair, and terrible rom com tropes. We love you! Follow us on Twitter @jinglefriends, @seeegriffin, @saravents & @zachkaplan. Follow King Crab on Facebook, and see Sara perform live with them on January 27th at 9:30 at The Tank Theater in NYC!

This week, we discuss the Hulk Hogan classic Santa with Muscles with the help of John Reynolds from Search Party and Stranger Things! Topics include Scooby-Doo’s real name, Officer Nasty, dog parades, bad background actors, the tomb of Nicolas Cage, rubber door knobs, chowder, Chekhov’s chasm, Carrie’s love of pies, and our new segment, “Remember DeNiro?” Check out John live in Holy Fuck Comedy Hour on Thursdays at The Annoyance in NYC or in Sadie Hawkins Day at SF Sketchfest. Follow John on Twitter @johnreynoldss and follow us @jinglefriends, @seeegriffin, @saravents & @zachkaplan. We love you!

The Christmas season is behind us, but how can we stop podcasting about it when we’ve made so many… friends… along the way? Case in point, this week, we are joined by Jon Foox of sketch group Terrorbird to talk about the Friends episode “The One with the Holiday Armadillo”. Topics include jellyfish emergencies, tall dads, Ross’s limited knowledge of Hanukkah, the war on Christmas, Ross’s stupid son, jazzman Sara, Phoebe’s insanity, real tears, nipple pinching, Sara’s hatred of The Music Man, Frasier bumper stickers, and Dr. Dre’s thesis. Check out Jon on Twitter @jfoox and watch him perform live this Friday, January 13th, 8 PM at The PIT Loft in NYC in Terrorbird Smashes the State. We love you!

We couldn’t help but wonder, what would it be like if we talked about a Sex and the City episode? We found out with their out-of-season Christmas treat, “The Perfect Present”! Joining us are Marisa Crawford and Cathy de la Cruz from Weird Sister, an online magazine that explores the intersections of feminism, literature and pop culture. Topics this week include: recommending sex toys to friends, much ado about a closeup of a man’s penis, the joys of Ron Livingston and Jennifer Coolidge, amiibo hiding, bad sleep acting, the mysterious disappearance of Carrie Bradshaw’s family, snuggling while sleeping, paying for sex, Muppet Seinfeld, the boringness of Mr. Big, messing with other people’s sleep, condoms in media, and cold sex. Check out Marisa’s book of poems Reversible, out in February 2017 from Switchback Books, and see Cathy in March 2017 on the west coast, where she’ll be touring with Sister Spit. Visit weird-sister.com, follow our guests on social media @weirdsistermag, @SadDiego & @marisacrawford, and follow us @jinglefriends, @seeegriffin, @saravents & @zachkaplan. We love you!

This week, we watch the Lifetime original movie Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever starring Aubrey Plaza as the voice of Grumpy Cat. We’re joined by comedian Chrissie Mayr from The Wendy Williams Show, Fox’s Laughs, and Comedy at Stonewall, her monthly show at the Stonewall Inn. Check her out at chrissiemayr.com and follow her on social media @chrissiemayr! Topics this week include Carrie’s love of internet cats, comedy classes with Aubrey Plaza, Aubrey Plaza’s stroke, branding vs. comic voice, Melania Trump, the dark origins of Grumpy Cat’s real name, non-taco thoughts, million-dollar dogs, our favorite internet meme cats, cat-shaming, Sinta: the Santa for Sexy People, moving on, and Poof Be Gone. We love you!

This week, just in time for Christmas, the Jingle Friends tackle one of the most incomprehensibly awful films they’ve screened yet, The Nutcracker in 3D, aka The Nutcracker: The Untold Story. We're joined by the one and only Tom Scharpling (The Best Show, Steven Universe, Divorce, Monk)! Topics include The Red Shoes, weird credits, the origin of Einstein: the goofy guy who loves Christmas, how to make out with a nutcracker toy, how Nazi Germany got its ideas, why Tom is so mad at us, erudite chimps, kids trying to fly, self-hating rats, water bottle babies, whether Tom would watch this movie again or choose to save hostages, negging, and the difference between bad pizza and bad movies. And Tom finally spills the beans about Even Stranger Things.net! Follow Tom on Twitter @scharpling and follow us @jinglefriends, @seeegriffin, @saravents and @zachkaplan. Make sure to check out thebestshow.net! We love you! (P.S. For those of you who'd rather listen to a censored, edited version, we've got just the thing! It's the next episode in our feed, or you can stream it on Soundcloud at https://soundcloud.com/jingle-friends/the-nutcracker-in-3d-with-tom-scharpling-censored-clean-edit!)

(Note: This is the censored edit of this episode, created for those of you who came here from The Best Show or Steven Universe and don’t want to bother with the vulgarity! Before this in in our stream is the explicit cut!) This week, just in time for Christmas, the Jingle Friends tackle one of the most incomprehensibly awful films they’ve screened yet, The Nutcracker in 3D, aka The Nutcracker: The Untold Story. With us is the one and only Tom Scharpling (The Best Show, Steven Universe, Divorce, Monk)! Topics include The Red Shoes, weird credits, the origin of Einstein: the goofy guy who loves Christmas, how to make out with a nutcracker toy, how Nazi Germany got its ideas, why Tom is so mad at us, erudite chimps, kids trying to fly, self-hating rats, water bottle babies, whether Tom would watch this movie again or choose to save hostages, negging, and the difference between bad pizza and bad movies. And Tom finally spills the beans about Even Stranger Things.net! Follow Tom on Twitter @scharpling and follow us @jinglefriends, @seeegriffin, @saravents and @zachkaplan. Make sure to check out thebestshow.net! We love you!