Save The Marriage Podcast | How To Save Your Marriage | How To Stop Your Divorce

A relationship is built on trust.  A marriage can only thrive when it is built on trust.  But trust is not just earned.  It is given.  Trust is really a gift. A gift to be treasured, for sure. Some people refuse to trust — refuse to give that gift.  Others trust too easily, making it […]

Too frequently, I have clients who treat me with great respect, being very civil.  I keep thinking, “What a nice person.” Then, their spouse comes in.  Civility and respect are out the window.  More often than not, both are equally uncivil and disrespectful.  Unfortunately, neither seem to recognize that each has a choice.  Civility and […]

The body is there, but nobody’s home.  That would describe many people when their spouse is talking.  Or even when they are making love. The shell is there.  The person?  Not so much.  They are failing to “Show Up.”  And they are violating an Immutable Law of Marriage.  If you keep failing to show up, […]

I was a bit surprised when he pulled out a list from his pocket.  He told me it was a list of all the problems his spouse had.  I was so surprised that it took me a minute to respond. By then, he had already launched into his list.  He had it categorized into “appearance,” […]

“I just don’t feel it anymore,” she told me. So I asked, “What are you not feeling?” “Love.”  She told me she no longer loved her husband. I asked, “What are you doing to be loving?” She looked up, a bit surprised.  “What?  I just told you, I don’t love him.” I challenged her, “I […]

When you have a disagreement, what is your goal?  What are you trying to do?  What are you aiming at? For many people, the goal of a disagreement is to get your way, make your point, prove yourself right — win. In any relationship, that can be damaging.  But most relationships can either weather that […]

Maybe couples take it for granted.  Maybe they never knew.  And maybe they never knew because it was always there.  It was what led to being in love, to wanting to be together.  When it is there, you forget how important it is.  When it is gone, you realize your marriage is in deep trouble […]

Every day, I hear the story:  “I thought we were just ‘on pause.’  After ______, we would get back to the relationship.”  That ______ can be:  friends, hobbies, education, job, sports, interests, and often — KIDS. That time comes (if you even get that far), only to discover that the marriage was not on pause. […]

The Immutable Laws of Marriage are violated at your own peril.  This week, it is not so much a law you might violate, as much as it is a law you need to know. Here it is:  We ALL have fears that we bring into a marriage.  Fears that really do not affect many other […]

Many people enter a marriage, assuming their marriage will make them happy.  Too many “Happily ever after movies,” perhaps. You can have a happy marriage.  But a marriage is not THE path to happiness.  It can be a part of your happy life.  But that is up to you — not the marriage. But nor […]

We start a new series this week, The Immutable Laws of Marriage. The universe is ruled by laws. Our world is ruled by laws.  And these are not the ones enforced by a governmental agency. These laws are more akin to, for example, gravity.  If you jump up, you come down, thanks to gravity.  When you […]

Have you ever been sucked into a situation or argument, then realized your actions were not what you wanted? There is that split second, that pause, where you get to choose your response. Many people miss that split second, telling themselves, “I had no choice.  I was just reacting.” But deep down, we know that […]

Many times, in the midst of trying to save a marriage, the anxiety and fears can lock you up, overwhelmed with what to do next. When that happens, the outcome is often a lack of change, motivation, or action. And things continue in the downward spiral. So today, I want to invite you to use […]

Games should be fun.  But the games we are talking about today are NOT fun. These are patterns of interaction and communication. The design is to get a need met.  But behind it is a dysfunction.  It may be a lack of clarity in what someone wants or expects.  It may be an unwillingness to […]

Over and over, people tell me about their “unique” situation, doubting that my System would do anything for their marriage problem.  Deep down inside, we all believe we are “special,” unique, and beyond the information that is out there. My belief is that there are some commonalities to why marriages work.  A marriage in trouble […]