The Overwhelmed Brain

1. How do you handle "no"? Do you suffer hoping the other person would follow you to the ends of the earth, or do you welcome the opportunity to be free of someone that didn't want to be with you? 2. How much of your emotions need your logic? How about your logic needing your emotions? Is it time to be fully unified? 3. A listener asks why they left if they loved. It's not always black and white - sometimes it's to save the relationship.

Asking yourself stupid questions may be the path to healing and moving through the hard stuff in your life. We often have choices when it appears we don't - stupid questions may lead to more choices. Sociopathic people in the workplace and at home can be extremely difficult to deal with. I give you one effective method of doing so. In codependence, there is usually a giver and a taker. I'll give you one guess who gets burnt out while the other thinks there's nothing wrong with the arrangement.

Letting go of a narcissistic parent can seem like cutting off a limb to some people, but what happens right after the moment you make the decision to cut them out of your life? Matthew Bivens of the Having it A.L.L. podcast joins me today to discuss this very thing.

1. Race, culture and background can dictate personality and behavior. A listener writes in and asks how to get along with almost everyone. 2. A woman asks if I have any words of wisdom for her regarding a drifting marriage and isolation from family. 3. If you really want to stretch your mind, meet in person, not online. Make real connections.

Getting into alignment with a career you want is a whole lot more fulfilling then trudging through each day trying to make the career you're in work. I talk with Scott Barlow, a regular of The Overwhelmed Brain, on finding work that fits and creating the kind of happiness in your life that you can actually get paid for. visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/htyc

1. The addict has a different perspective of the world according to a recovering addict that writes in to the show. 2. We're told that suffering is optional. I make an argument against it and for it. 3. Every judgment you have is a lack of acceptance in you. I help a listener understand his options when it comes to judging his girlfriend

1. Resolving issues before New Year's resolutions is a better practice for some people. If you can't keep your resolutions, it's time to change when you make them. 2. Is she is toxic like her boyfriend's ex's or is he the common denominator? 3. Is free will really free? This philosophical perspective may start the new year off with many questions. 4. If you reflect on how your year went, it's time to look at what you really value so you can plan ahead instead of review the past

Saying I love you shouldn't be hard, but if it's something that you or your partner can't do, there is a path to love that doesn't involve words. When you think about how you treated your ex, do you feel guilty? If so, segment 2 will help you cope and perhaps even get over the guilt so that you can look forward to a brighter future in yourself and your relationships. If you are emotionally abusive, it's time to face up to it and do whatever it takes to heal inside. There is a path to freedom.

1. Are you a chameleon? Do you change as needed for every person and situation? If so, is it really serving you? 2. If someone has ever hurt you so that you would let them go, this segment may tell you why. Fear of your reaction is usually the cause but there are others. 3. Speaking of reactions, what do you do with friends and family that are aggressive or explosive? Do you invite them to the wedding or are you just setting yourself up for disaster?

If your partner's family is against you and your partner sides with them, what do you do? When you can't feel safe in your own relationship because your partner's priority is his or her own family, you may have some hard choices to make. An emotionally intelligent conversation between Matthew Bivens and I on this special episode of The Overwhelmed Brain.

1 She caught her husband cheating and blamed her & her family for the affair. He used to be loving and supportive. Now that he can't get his way, he is cold & manipulative. 2 She wants her ex back but all he wants is sex. She complies but feels empty & lonely without him. Now that she has healed from her past & doing better, he still won't come back. 3 When your intuition kicks in, it's important to follow it through to the end. You may not like what you find but at least you'll have closure.

When you find out a lie that your partner has been holding on to for months or years, where does that leave the relationship? What if it's a minor lie and your relationship has been going great? Or what if it's a massive lie that you cannot get past? Matthew Bivens of the Having it A.L.L. podcast joins me to answer an email on this very subject in this special mid-week episode of TOB.

1. Do you attract the worst partners? What does it take to find a normal person to date? There is a path to attracting quality partners but it may involve facing your fear of loss. 2. If you feel bad for your emotional abuser, you are more likely to stay in the relationship and take abuse. I'll tell you what you need to focus on so the abuse stops. 3. When did trying things turn into a bad choice? Ever since Star Wars, it seems we've adopted do or do not… but is that the best course of action?

Are you a daydreamer? Is it healthy? Do you do it to avoid reality? It's not all bad, is it? I talk about the benefits of skipping reality for a little bit as long as you connect with yourself in other ways. In #2, I go over some ways to deal with your narcissistic ex and his/her effect on you your kids. Finally, what are the long term effects of child sexual abuse? The "Welcome Home Fiona" music video might be just the path to healing you need. thefionaproject.org/vote

Black or white thinking can lead you to be untrusting of people and the world in general. If you've loved and lost and cannot figure out how to love as deeply as you once did, it could be a general distrust you carry around - seeing people as either safe or not safe. If you cannot be vulnerable, a difficult thing to achieve after pain or betrayal, you may not be able to rebuild the emptiness in your heart. Dichotomous thinking can keep you from unlocking your heart to anyone else.