Gay Confidence Coach

Episode 17 Thank You Scott McQ @Satyr69 For the music suggestion Mark S. Jungmann @laffingbuddha for the topic suggestion and chasing me up to post a podcast AuntieVera @AuntieVera for chasing me on recording another podcast Loads of new Members over on the community website, there are now just 18 founder places left, so if you want to join completely free for a year you need to do it sooner rather than later, I'll give more details at the end of the podcast. News Marshall is doing well. It's cold, still, where is spring please? Couple of new clients.  Quite a few existing ones that I'm still working with too. Book is plodding along at a slow pace but it's still moving! Went to a reunion of where I used to work. It was rather odd that I didn't have to explain to a single person what I was doing, in fact their first two comments were always "your doing coaching now aren't you?" and "Yeah I noticed you do a lot of stuff on LinkedIn". At least I know that it's getting the word out. I've been helping a few other people get started with podcasting too. Question? I don't swear on the show at all. I would normally, even with some clients (if they swear first), do you think I should loosen up and let out the odd expletive here too? It would probably mean that I would need to turn on "explicit" tag. But I'm happy to do that if it makes what I'm saying more real. So I guess I'm asking, does swearing add anything?   Tech of the week Strong Lifts Website Strong Lifts 5x5 iOS App Strong Lifts YouTube Channel If you want to gain muscle and strength while burning fat, and you’re sick and tired of doing body-part split routines with little to no results, then I highly recommend you to check out my FREE StrongLifts 5×5 training program. You can get my free ebook that describes StrongLifts 5×5 as well as a free 30min video where I show you how to do the workout… plus an app to track your workouts on your phone, all at no cost or obligation by going here.   How to give criticism Mark S. Jungmann @laffingbuddha We all have different ways of doing things. Some things may not be as efficient as others, but what ever works. It's more important that something gets done than how it gets done, for the most part anyway. If it's a health and safety issue, it's fairly easy. Corporate policy, not too hard either. But just because you know a better way, or their way irritates you? Not so much. The best way to give it, is to wait until it's asked for. Feedback is vital for many people to improve, but they have to be in a receptive state. You can prepare them for it, sometimes, by pre-empting it with "can I give you some feedback?" Feedback might not be the best word to use. Or alternatively just ask them if you can "help you understand how they do it". This has 2 benefits, 1: you are going to understand their thought process and 2: you'll be able to fix smalls steps that are faulty, rather than trying to fix the whole thing, which can be a bit overwhelming and unnecessary. I go through this in a lot more detail in the podcast:- Emotions Private Timing, sooner rather than later Actions/behaviour not the person, Stick to facts Be specific let them explain wok together for the solution You might also find this video useful. It's a bit cheesy but it's got some good points. How to give negative feedback   Subscribe Subscribing to the podcast is dead easy, just pop over to iTunes and hit the subscribe button. You’ll then get each episode automatically when it’s released You can also get an email every time a new blog post or podcast is added. You can play the podcast or read the new post directly in your email or visit back to the website. Just scroll up to the top of this webpage and fill in your name and email address in the right hand side. Join the Community As this is very new, I’d love to get kickstarted with an offer,

Episode 16 Thank You @TamworthGrice as always for promoting the podcast, and chasing me up to post another episode! Michael Mosley @DrMichaelMosley Very helpful tweets on the "fast diet" or 5:2 diet Simon Mac @simon_macl for tweeting about my relaxation audio Mark S. Jungmann @laffingbuddha for chasing me up to do another podcast And for their tech / app recommendations Scott McQ @Satyr69 recommends SnapChat Heno @86_HENO suggested….. Grindr! Drusilla Bloeme @DrusillaBloeme for helping me enjoy my return to drinking by quoting Poe, about booze being gods way of telling you that he loves you and wants you to be happy ;-) Jon Trouten @JonTrouten and many others for their lovely messages about Marshall   News So much has happened since I last recorded a show it's hard to know where to start! I got to see my favourite personal development author Tim Ferris in London. Hearing him speak was a very inspiring experience. He really came across as a nice guy, that really believes in what he's discovered about weight loss, learning and building your own business. I was also lucky enough to get a trip up the highest building in the UK, the brand new "Shard". That was pretty incredible too! Probably the biggest news, we for me anyway, is getting a new kitten. As most of you will know we used to have two cats named after the Ab Fab characters, Patsy and Eddie. Sadly we lost Patsy to cancer late last year. We were devastated. Be I knew there was space in our lives for another cat. So after trying to get a rescue cat but being turned down as we needed an "indoor" cat. We found and bought a kitten privately. Initially we gave him the name of Norman, because the owners were calling him "fat boy" simple to distinguish him from his slightly smaller brother. And Fat Boy Slim, who's a relatively famous DJ, is actually called Norman. But soon Peter decided to go straight to the source and tweeted Jennifer Saunders, yep that's right the writer and star of Ab Fab. Pete asked her for a suggested name as there aren't many main male characters in the show. She instantly tweeted back "Marshal?". So whenever someone asked why the name, we can say "Because Jennifer Saunders named our kitten"! Can't really say no to Jennifer! The week after we took Marshall to the vets for a checkup and without going into too much dirty detail asked about a possible upset stomach. It turned out the poor little thing had somehow picked up e-coli from his previous home! After much fretting and worry I'm pleased to say he's made a full recovery and is growing so rapidly to can almost see the changes daily.     Tech of the week http://duolingo.com/ This app was actually suggested by Tim Ferris on his own blog. I've been having quite a bit of fun with it for a few weeks now. Duolingo is a free service that helps you learn languages with your friends while simultaneously contributing to translate real-world content from the Web. It's very game like and lets you each points, unlock levels and help with real world translations. You can learn Spanish, French, German, Portuguese, Italian or yes English! Might be handy for a few people I know ;-) It's available on the iPhone, I think they are planning an Android version at some point in the future. But they also have just a plain old Web based version that is totally worth trying out as it have voice recognition too. Very clever! So if you've ever thought about learning a language but have been put off by the costs or finding to too hard, give Duolingo a go. Even if you already speak a little bit of another language, you don't have to start from scratch, you can test your skills and start at a higher level. Don't forget to add me as a friend in the app!   Just Being There Even though I professionally coach people all the time, through all sorts of dramas, when it comes to helping a friend it needs to be done with an extra level of consideration.

Episode 15 Thank You @TamworthGrice as always for promoting the podcast, and chasing me up to post another episode! Rakshita Patel @MycroftBrolly for calling me out on my poor excuse for not having enough time over the festive period. Festive wishes from Tommy Chicago @ThogoChicago AuntieVera @AuntieVera Walt @act1wally ThatEricMiller @ThatEricMiller LibertyGal @libertygal72 Mark S. Jungmann @laffingbuddha Sartoria Lab @SartoriaLab New interpideer Jon Trouten @JonTrouten News Well you may have noticed I took a little break over the festive period. I've noticed that, for most people, it's just easier to focus on friends, family and maybe even just getting through Christmas and New Year celebrations in one piece! It's a good time for reviewing and reflecting, catching up, over indulging and generally taking a break from the norm. And we did pretty much all of that and more. We had a fabulous "Afternoon Tea" at the Haymarket Hotel, and for the non-UK interpideers, afternoon tea isn't just drinking a cup of tea. It's much more flamboyant! Sometimes you start with a glass of Champagne, followed by a selection of sandwiches, cakes, scones with cream and jam, and lots of other tasty but very naughty treats and of course a huge selection of teas to choose from. The Haymarket Hotel are very generous with their potions, but if you do want more sandwiches, cake, scones or tea they are more than happy to provide you with another round. Christmas itself was spent at the in-laws, and was a very relax affair and virtually no drama. We returned home on Boxing day (the day after Christmas and just chilled out for a few days. One of the presents I gave Peter was tickets to a play. Constellations, an amazing 2 person play that explores the multiple time lines of a couple. It's very difficult to describe, but it was a real joy to watch. Finally New Year was spent with our friends, we arrived early as they have two small children so we wanted to spend some time with them before they went to bed. After they did, we ate, we drank, we talked, we laughed and we watch really bad NYE TV. But fun was had by all, and we enjoyed we well earn hangover the following day! So 2013 is here, another year full of dreams, hopes, fears and worries, just like ever other year, but I'm hoping that this year, with the help of my interpideers we can not only make our own dreams come true, but also help others achieve their goals too.   Tech of the week https://www.dashlane.com/   Life in the Dashlane means being ushered through the front door of any website, on any browser. It means buying stuff online without having to type in billing, shipping, or payment info. It means being safer, because all your passwords and private info is encrypted only you have the key to unlock it. It means less complexity and more simplicity on every device you own. My life is pretty much all online now. And being online often has it's risks, for years I had the same username and password for pretty much everything. Until my iTunes account was hacked then I suddenly realised that I needed to change my password. Last year there were loads of stories of online accounts be compromised, passwords getting stolen and people being warned to change their passwords. Just to give you some idea of scale, I've almost 200 login accounts, for various websites, utilities and such like. That's a lot of places to change your password if something goes wrong, so I needed a solution that would handle all this for me. But as my online life uses Mac, PC and iPhone it had to cover everything seamlessly. Dashlane to the rescue! I won't get too technical or into the finer points of putting all your usernames and passwords into one program, but it is safe to say that your information is encrypted to bank level and only your master password can be used to access the data, where ever you are. There are a number of things that I really like about this system.

Episode 14 Thank You A huge thank you to Dennis Z for recommending the community to  Michael R. Mahair who joined the community during the last week, and of course a big welcome to Michael! Once again to @TamworthGrice @Act1Wally for spreading the word about the podcast. Mark MacKenzie for the topic suggestion today. Podkicker Pro from the @laffingbuddha @ThatPeterG if you just delete the new podcast app from your Apple device, the podcasts revert back to the iTunes app. News A returning client all the way for Arizona, it's been great to hear all the progress she's been making. I'm really looking forward to helping her progress even further. I also had four other one to one coaching clients, two Christmas do's, and a Partridge in a pair tree…. OK maybe I lied about the last one. Oh and we also went to a Panto, with our friend and her 4 year old. The Panto wasn't great, but seeing her get really into it was priceless.  Our friends nephew was also in the show and was one of the lost boys, we met him a few weeks ago, and for an 11 year old he's incredibly charming and social, a real pleasure to be with. Afterwards I found out that he's being bullied at school. I must admit I was really upset about that. I can relate to just how tough that can be at that age, as I'm sure many listeners can! In fact over on my other podacst ActionPodcast.com we just did an episode on the long term effects of bullying. So if you haven't had enough of my voice by the end of this show then pop over to the other one and give it a listen. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the subject. Tech of the week http://stereopsis.com/flux/  My friend and co-host over at ActionPodcast recommend this app to me. It's available on Windows PC or Mac, you can also get it for your iPad/iPhone if they are jailbroken. Basically what it does it change the hue of your computer screen. It kind of gives it an orange tint. You can choose how much tint to suit your own use. But the idea is that as you work later and later on your computer, it's not a great idea to be staring at a bright white screen, especially if you sometimes find it hard to sleep afterwards. So this app, fools your brain into thinking that you are looking at a setting sun, rather than at bright sunlight. Now I don't normally have problems getting to sleep, but I have to admit I actually had to turn this off because it was making me so tired!! But if you do find yourself feeling a bit more awake and alert after using the computer late at night, give flux a go and see if it can help your wind down a bit. Self Editing http://legobear.wordpress.com/2012/03/04/never-blend-in/ Do you find yourself Self Editing? It's a really interesting question from Mark, one of the community members asked me to talk about self editing. Typically this means that there is some work being done between what you are thinking and what you actually say. For the most part we do this all the time. Otherwise we'd just be verbalising everything that goes through our head. This in itself can be immensely powerful when used in the right way. Take a quick witted comedian for example. They come out with the most hilarious things faster than you can think! This is because they are toning down their own self editing and allowing their raw thoughts out. Observational humour is often considered one of the most potent types of comedy because you find yourself laughing at the absurdness of every day events. By listening in to another persons thoughts as these events occur, is what strikes a chord with you. You instantly relate to that person because you know, you've thought the same thing, or something very similar yourself. Unfortunately sometimes self editing seems to fail us. Especially when we're angry or upset. In these times of extreme stress, we find ourselves saying things that later we regret, and we realise that what we said before wasn't necessarily the exact truth.

Episode 13 Thank You Welcome to all the new people that have joined the community. I think I missed this out last week so a huge welcome to: Paul Wilson, BRIAN MORRISON, Reint van Dijk, Ron Bleile, Mark MacKenzie & Stephen Roe And for your supporting words of encouragement for the podcast: Lorna Perks, @AuntieVera & @TamworthGrice who also wanted to know if I have an RP accent. Keith Owen for his topic suggestion that I'm covering today in the podcast. News I've had the pleasure of working with some really great guys at the London workshops that I run twice a month. There have been a few new faces recently and it's great to see how quickly they share openly with each other in the group. Once we get a few interested people in the community then I can really see me starting an online version, maybe using Google Plus or some other web conferencing system. If you'd be interested the just join the community for updates and invites. I've also launched my first audio product, yes strike me down with a bolt of lightening, I'm charging a massive 99 cents (89p) for it. I know, I have moved over to the dark side. But just to make it easier and cheaper anyone who's a member of the community has been given a copy of the audio completely free. So what is this fabulous new commercial venture I hear you cry?……….. OK maybe not :-) But I'm going to tell you anyway. I've been told several times that I should do some hypnosis or relaxation type CDs. So I finally got around to making my first one. It's just a simple guided relaxation piece of audio, where I talk you through settling into a nice deeply relaxed state. If you want to find out more about it go to http://www.gayconfidencecoach.com/relax where you can view all the online stores where it's available. Just follow the links to be able to listen to a short preview. Alternatively just join the community and I'll send you a copy. Tech of the week Pomodoro Timer App created by Francesco Cirillo in the 1980' http://gigaom.com/2010/11/10/9-free-pomodoro-timers/ http://e.ggtimer.com/pomodoro There are loads of different options for Pomodoro Timers, you can find them on iOS, Android and either online or downloadable programs for both MAC and PC. They all have the same basic function. To time you for 25 minutes and then encourage a 5 minute break before starting again. The Pomodoro Technique is a time management method developed by Francesco Cirillo in the late 1980s and is based on the simple kitchen timers that you can buy in most hardware or kitchen stores. Can't Be Bothered? Thanks to Keith for the topic suggestion "What do you know, and how can you address 'Can'tBeArsed-Itis" We've all been there, faffing around doing other things when you know there is something you really should be doing. Like going to the gym, doing that DIY job, cleaning the house or car. Whatever it is, chances are it's not something that you consider fun! Unfortunately life is full of things that we should be doing, but until they become something that has to be done, or something that we want to do, it's easy to keep putting it off. When you break it down, it really does mean you need to either make it more fun, or make it a higher priority. Asking yourself "Why do I want to do this?" and then following each answer with "Why is that important?", and repeating that until you've reach the conclusion. It might be that there is more than one reason, but once you know what that really is it's much easier to to remember during times of low motivation. The other tip is to make it as fun as possible. Use a Pomodoro timer app as I mentioned in the Tech of the week. Get social, and ask others to either help you or to make you more accountable. Finally, chances are you're not motivated because you are seeing progress or you just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. It feels like a never ending thankless task. Create a chart to track your progress, I love a good graph!

Episode 12 Thank You For spreading word about the podcast: @TamworthGrice @kidcolt959 Don173 @moosep @ThatPeterG A very exciting update from @kidcolt959 Let me know what it was! ;-) Also a huge thank you to the following for their kind words with regards to Patsy. @SiDawson @laffingbuddha @AuntieVera Scott McQ @Satyr69 News Many of you will know that on Monday the 19th of November, I had to call the vets and ask them for a home visit to put down one of my cats. Patsy had cancer last year and we had the tumour removed, but unfortunately it came back again. We decided that it wasn't fair to operate again and would just care for her at home for as long as we could make her comfortable. Without going into all the details, it was clear to us that the pain medication wasn't providing enough relief so we knew it was time. It was an incredibly painful experience to lose Patsy, but I know in my heart it was the right thing to do. I miss her terribly. Her sister, Eddie, is doing good and seems to be adapting well to being the only cat in our house. Some happier news is that I've been asked to take part in a documentary about 7 musicians as they progress through their career. We'll be filming in the new year. I'm very exciting and honoured to be asked to take part. When it's available I'll of course let you all know.   Tech of the week http://www.gymfu.com/ I incorrectly state the website was JYMFU, clearly I had a bit of a brain fart :-) I've used CrunchFU and have now completed the challenge of doing 200 situps in one go. They have a few other apps for pullups, pressups and squats. So if you're interested in taking up a challenge with me, let me know which app you've installed and I'll join you in trying to achieve the goal.   The Motivation Emotion Motivation emotion - http://book.personalmba.com/motivation/ Motivation is an emotion NOT a logical, rational activity. Caveman Syndrome running away from a lion automatically takes priority over cooking lunch. Loss Aversion - we're more afraid of losing something than we are of gaining something. Only action can give you motivation.   Subscribe Subscribing to the podcast is dead easy, just pop over to iTunes and hit the subscribe button. You’ll then get each episode automatically when it’s released You can also get an email every time a new blog post or podcast is added. You can play or read the new post directly in your email or visit back to the website. Just scroll up to the top of this webpage and fill in your name and email address in the right hand side.   Join the Community As this is very new, I’d love to get kickstarted with an offer, free membership for the first year to the first 50 people that sign up. Just sign up at http://www.GayConfidenceCoach.com/founder Membership cost is flexible, so if you miss the first 50 slots, then don’t worry it will never cost the earth to join in.   Connect Join me and chat with me on: Facebook Twitter Voicemail Comment on this episode http://www.gayconfidencecoach.com/12   Music Nobody Does It Better - Carly Simon ( Theme from the Bond movie The Spy Who Loved Me )  

Episode 11 Thank You Keith and ThatPeterG for joining the community Eric Miller for yet again being a fantastic community member and really putting in a put of effort to welcome new comers, as well as recommending apps for people to try, and giving us topics to discuss and loads of other great stuff. Tamworth Grice @TamworthGrice for again spreading the word about the podcast, and YES!!!! Leaving a VOICEMAIL!!! Lovely new listeners that said hello on Twitter: @ThatPeterG  Mark S. Jungmann @laffingbuddha  Ray @rayway82  Mike Lawson @WSWCL from http://www.WhatSomeWouldCallLies.com https://twitter.com/rayway82/status/269185700509908992 Once again a huge thank you to AuntieVera @AuntieVera for spreading the word about my podcast, it really does mean a lot to me. News I ran a seminar for about 80 people which was an amazing experience. I've never done anything like that before so it was certainly something outside of my comfort zone. I was a little panicked in the morning and managed for forget some paperwork that I needed to take with me, so I ended up arriving much later than I would have liked but everything else went really smoothly. I'd love to organise another one in the new year hopefully. It was certainly a steep learning curve for me, but as with most things, once you've done it once it no longer holds the fear it did before, so the second and third time it just seems so much easier. I also visited a company that makes chocolate, lots of chocolate, and came away from there with my bag and every pocket stuffed full of bars of chocolate. So that should keep me going for a few weeks at least. I've taken on another new client, well I say new but I actually coached him a few years ago, so it's been great to catch up with him and work out how I can help him in this next phase of his life. There really isn't anything quite like satisfaction of an old client coming back, saying "you really helped me last time, can you do it again please?!" Tech of the week SuperBetter helps you achieve your health goals — or recover from an illness or injury — by increasing your personal resilience. Resilience means staying curious, optimistic and motivated even in the face of the toughest challenges. http://members.gayconfidencecoach.com/forum/topics/are-you-superbetter In 2011 I underwent extensive chemo and radiation, so one of the Docs suggested this iPhone game app to increase confidence and ward off depression. It was created by neurologist and cognitive psychologist as a game of tactics and tasks.  Its called SuperBetter, and it's pretty fun.  Just shows that even small, daily adjustments can add up to big benefits.  Check it out:  https://www.superbetter.com/ I downloaded the app and had a play with it. It look really simple at first, but the more you use it the more you can see how you can customise the features. It also has a great website that you can log into and view everything you have on your phone. As Eric says it really does help you do the small things every day that ultimately add up to big changes over a period of time. So check it out and download the app. Feel free to add me as one of your allies, using my email address. Back to Basics Following on from the App SuperBetter that I talked about in Tech of the Week, I've noticed a pattern this week with a lot of my clients, the app, and also a book that I've been reading (Personal MBA by Josh Kaufman). The pattern is that people often find themselves in a situation where they are frustrated to the chaos and confusion in their lives, and when they think about it they recognise that some of the most simple and easy to implement solutions are ones that they have also used before. Subscribe Subscribing to the podcast is dead easy, just pop over to iTunes and hit the subscribe button. You’ll then get each episode automatically when it’s released You can also get an email every time a new blog post or podcast is added.

Thank You @AuntieVera for the generous shout out on his podcast, even though he said that it was only my accent that made up for me being stupid :-) Thanks to Mark for his tweet: https://twitter.com/laffingbuddha/status/265871884686610432 And TimmySimms too! https://twitter.com/TimmySimms/status/264803537672880129 Don Barron KCnDEN& NCLTony Our latest members of the community, Eric Miller has been busy saying hello to everyone and starting some great new topics so pop over and have a look for yourself and join in! News I've been exceptionally busy over the last week or so, and I've been acutely aware that I'm running behind with my podcast. But I made a commitment to myself very early on in this project that although I wanted to get a new podcast out every week, I wasn't going to drive myself crazy and get stressed about it if I fell behind. I'd rather produce a show that was calm, relaxed and had good content, than just cramming in a podcast to keep the numbers up. So I hope that comes across and that you don't mind too much waiting for a quality podcast. Tech of the week @DrusillaBloeme from Twitter very kindly suggested this app for me last week. I'd never heard of it before, so rather than just a vague overview I wanted spend some time actually using the app before I gave it a review. So the description of the app is : The Now is an app to help you retrain your mind to live more fully in the moment. The Now accomplishes this using a technique called continuous mindfulness training. The process works by using periodic cues, in this case, free iPhone push notifications with an audible chime and relevant message, to remind you to be fully focused on the present. The ultimate goal being to make mindfulness essentially continuous. I get the premise, we often spend so much time reminiscing on the good and bad things that have happened, and worrying about the future that sometime we can forget to simple enjoy the present. Living in the moment can really be a huge benefit to people by helping them see the good things that are happening in their life and allows them to focus on what they can do right now to make things better. I often try to do this myself by actively paying attention to something, in a little more detail than I would normally. Walking along the river is a classic example, I often take the time to look around me rather than just the 10 feet of floor in front of me. I look at the buildings around me, how the light bounces off the windows or the corners. What types of clouds are in the sky and how the sun or moon is reflecting off them. What can I smell in the air? I've noticed recently that there often seems to be the wonderful scent of roasting coffee beans near where I live, I love to take in a deep breath and try to imagine where it is and what they are doing. Sometimes I'll even take a snap shot on my phone to really help me capture and identify that I was taken by the moment. Or using my phone to record a note, or a voice recording, anything that helps me highlight the moment and what made it special. So when I downloaded the app I was expecting it to be encouraging these types of activities, and to some degree it does. I have to be really honest here and state that I'm not a big fan of motivational quotes, I feel that are often irrelevant and only momentarily effective. I find that it's what my friends, family and clients say far more powerful than an overused quote from Mark Twain or Deepak Choopra. So having said that I was disappointed to find that, for the most part this is simply and app that pops up motivational quotes about 4 times a day. They are in a set order and if delete the app and reload it, the quotes will start from the beginning and just cycle through the same order. A few of them seemed to be original and encourage you to "enjoy the moment" or "remember the last time you had a cold and that you wished you felt healthy, now breath in a relish your good health",

Episode 9 Thank You Eric Miller for the wonderful email! Eric Wilson for updating his profile on the members community! Sartoria Lab @SartoriaLab For meeting up with me during the week. Sarah is an amazing Personal Stylist. Chris @bearpupuk ...

Episode 8 Thank You Drusilla Bloeme and Scott for spreading the word about the podcast. And Tamworth, for sharing the links to the podcast too and her kind words about Patsy. K Eric Wilson for joining the community Steve urquhart A new listener, he said hello on Twitter News A couple of new clients, it's always a pleasure and a privilege to start working with someone. One runs his own business and the other is looking to make the switch from regular employment. There were also a couple of new people at my group coaching session that I hold in central London. I do think it's really important that people actually get on with their coach and have some kind of a connection, a rapport. Otherwise it's never going to be easy to truly open up. So if you are thinking about getting some coaching, drop me an email and I'll schedule an appointment with you to have a chat so see if there is anything I can do to help. Tech of the week Zite app Get the best content from the internet in a newspaper format on your iOS or Android device. It quickly learns from you what type of stories you are interested in and which ones is should neve show you again. I love using Zite to curate content for my Twitter followers and Facebook friends. Give it a go! Procrastination: The best way to achieve your dream! It took me a long time to actually get around to making this podcast. In fact it's been about 4 years since I first had the idea. Which is why I can relate to people that spend a long time mulling over something before ever taking that first step. Take my best friend for example, he came over to my place last week and we just chilled out, ate pizza and caught up on what's going on. Now you have to bear in mind that Leigh is my best friend so it's virtually impossible for me to coach him and be objective, because that's what is really needed to be coached, but as a close friend, it's pretty much impossible to not tell them, or rather instruct them in what you "think" they should do. So with him I'm much more of an "Anti-coach". I tell him what he should do, I chastise him for not doing it! Well I've got to have an outlet somewhere, and that's my friend Leigh. So anyway, he was telling me about his state of health and said to me these immortal words: "I've been thinking about going back to the gym for months…." to which I replied, "How's that working out for you? Do you feel any healthier?" But it really did make me think, I bet anyone you talk to has a thing, a project, a dream, or an idea that they want to do something, but it just stays at that stage for what seems like a very long, an unnecessarily delayed length of time. So how do you over come this kind of, well procrastination for want of a better word! For me I do something a little against the grain in the personal development world. I don't focus on the end goal, I don't set myself a deadline to achieve it, in fact I actually focus on all the things that are getting in my way. So effectively I actively procrastinate! But the difference is in what I allow myself to procrastinate on and at what point I stop. By allowing the end goal to pop into my mind once in a while, I list down all the things I need to do BEFORE I can start work on my main goal, I list all the things that are stopping me from doing it, normally Money and Time are the biggest blockers. I then set to work on the smaller items in my list, things that I would find fun ( and yes this is also against the grain in the Self Development world, where you are meant to Eat the biggest and Ugliest from First) Still I never focus on the end goal itself, only the fun and yes even the crappy tasks that are stopping me achieving it. Every once in a while the end goal will pop into my head and I'll go through all the reasons why I can't do it yet. Rinse and repeat. But after a while, something magical happens. You can no longer find a reason not to something. Because you have spent so much time of resolving those,

Episode 7 Thank You Jamie and Jon for officially introducing themselves to the community Andrew and "anonymous" for donating to Rob's JustGiving charity page Scott for joining the Community! News Its been a tough week. 2 have two cats, but Patsy had cancer last year. We'd had it removed, unfortunately it has returned, we've had some very tough conversations with the vet hospital and we're now just going to treasure each and every day. Great session with two new guys who attended the gay confidence group session this week. We talked a lot about dealing with fear and how to overcome it. Tech of the week http://lifehacker.com/5321180/turn-gmail-into-your-ultimate-gtd-inbox GTD your gmail inbox. I've been using this for a couple of months now and it makes me wonder how I managed without it before! Being able to instantly categories my emails into , do now, do next, waiting on, investigate and scheduled has helped me keep my inbox to zero every day. I've also enabled Smartlabels which automatically files bulk / notification emails Beating Fear Dealing with fear, the worry of meeting new people, the stress of difficult conversations with people at work. Most people are aware of the flight and fight responses, but no so aware of the Freeze. Think of a rabbit caught in the head lights, it's not trying to fight, it's trying to run away, but is frozen in place by fear. Often this response is more common in our day-to-day lives, and our first reaction is to hold our breath. in doing this it actually increased our hear rate and pumps more adrenaline into our bodies making us feel even more anxious! Next time you are under pressure or are having resistance in something you have to do ( like meeting new people or doing a presentation) first check your breathing. Chances are you are either holding your breath or breathing in shallow breaths. So it might sound a little corny but taking a deep breath will really help one of my previous clients mentioned that he'd read breathing out first can really help as often when you hold your breath it's with a lung full of air, so breathing out forces you to take a more natural breath in. Subscribe Subscribing to the podcast is dead easy, just pop over to iTunes and hit the subscribe button. You’ll then get each episode automatically when it’s released You can also get an email every time a new blog post or podcast is added. You can play or read the new post directly in your email or visit back to the website. Just scroll up to the top of this webpage and fill in your name and email address in the right hand side. Join the Community As this is very new, I’d love to get kickstarted with an offer, free membership for the first year to the first 50 people that sign up. Just sign up at http://www.GayConfidenceCoach.com/founder Membership cost is flexible, so if you miss the first 50 slots, then don’t worry it will never cost the earth to join in. Connect Join me and chat with me on: Facebook Twitter Voicemail Comment on this episode http://www.gayconfidencecoach.com/7   Music http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiAUkSDoqYI Pet Shop Boys  - Absolutely Fabulous

Welcome to episode 6! Thank you! Birthday wishes from Obatala, Walt, Drusilla, Brenda, Nikki, Daniel, Scott, Tony, Raks, Tommy, AuntieVera For spreading the word, Scott, Glee@PwC For helping a fellow Community Member Jamie suggested to Rob to try the Android app Nozbe as a time management/organisational app I had a look at the website and saw that they charge $9.95 per moth for a single user, I'd suggest you have a look at evernote as it's available on all systems and also check out the website TheSecretWeapon.org which I mentioned in Episode 1   Tech of the Week Banking / Finance Dashboards http://www.moneydashboard.com/ MoneyDashboard is like a UK version of Mint.com, not for anyone with a nervous disposition as to start you have to give them your bank account details and log in information! Which if that doesn't get you running for the hills then once you do find out what you are spending your money on then that will certainly be a shock to the system! FirstDirect also do one but it only works on PCs that use InternetExplorer http://www2.firstdirect.com/1/2/banking/ways-to-bank/internet-banking-plus Have you tried any Money Dashboard type websites or systems? Did they help you get your finances sorted?   Founder Member: Rob - Charity Run Community member: Rob's our latest founder member and I've chatted to him a bit on Twitter. He describes himself as Scottish guy studying biomedical science in Edinburgh. He also loves running, cycling and days in the outdoors. Loves technology. Has a recent interest in photography. He's also got a really cute dog called Millie! Rob recently complete a charity run in memory of his mother. Subscribe Subscribing to the podcast is dead easy, just pop over to iTunes and hit the subscribe button. You’ll then get each episode automatically when it’s released You can also get an email every time a new blog post or podcast is added. You can play or read the new post directly in your email or visit back to the website. Just scroll up to the top of this webpage and fill in your name and email address in the right hand side. Join the Community As this is very new, I’d love to get kickstarted with an offer, free membership for the first year to the first 50 people that sign up. Just sign up at http://www.GayConfidenceCoach.com/founder Membership cost is flexible, so if you miss the first 50 slots, then don’t worry it will never cost the earth to join in. Connect Join me and chat with me on: Facebook Twitter Voicemail Comment on this episode http://www.gayconfidencecoach.com/6 Music Breath: Hands to Heaven

Welcome to episode 5! Thank you! MycroftBrolly aka Raks Patel for the great articles she has been sharing with me on Twitter Rob from Edinburgh for all the tweets and for joining the community! Tech of the Week http://www.MeetUp.com The one site I recommend to my clients most often. A great place to find groups of real people that meet in your local area. With a mind boggling number of different topics you are sure to find a group of like minded people to hang out with. I've been running my own group for a couple of years I can also highly recommend the awesome Drinks and Links group in London Top Tips to Beat Procrastination During my recent Confidence Building for Gay Men workshop, the guys talked about procrastination and come up with some brilliant ideas on how to beat it. Have a dedicated 2 point priority list Allocate the real time it will take, and don't inflate it! Get others envolved to promote a sense of commitment Subscribe Subscribing to the podcast is dead easy, just pop over to iTunes and hit the subscribe button. You’ll then get each episode automatically when it’s released You can also get an email every time a new blog post or podcast is added. You can play or read the new post directly in your email or visit back to the website. Just scroll up to the top of this webpage and fill in your name and email address in the right hand side. Join the Community As this is very new, I’d love to get kickstarted with an offer, free membership for the first year to the first 50 people that sign up. Just sign up at http://www.GayConfidenceCoach.com/founder Membership cost is flexible, so if you miss the first 50 slots, then don’t worry it will never cost the earth to join in. Connect Join me and chat with me on: Facebook Twitter Voicemail Comment on this episode http://www.gayconfidencecoach.com/5 Music Night Song: World of Warcraft

Subscribing to the podcast is dead easy, just pop over to iTunes and hit the subscribe button. You’ll then get each episode automatically when it’s released

Subscribing to the podcast is dead easy, just pop over to iTunes and hit the subscribe button. You’ll then get each episode automatically when it’s released