Pure Sex Radio

A life of peace and joy and hope is intimately tied to one’s ability to connect well in relationships. And when you have experienced trauma or addiction or shame this skill can seem virtually impossible to imagine.  In today’s episode, Stephen brings a multitude of comments made by men who struggle to connect well in their relationships. We unpack these comments in hopes of helping you gain insight into your own connecting skills and make appropriate tweaks to improve. More Resources:Untangling Emotions by Groves and SmithGrowth Map: The Pathway to Peace, Rest, and Joy40 Days of Training for Your Soul Related Podcasts:15 Rules of Emotionally Detached MenWhy Men Struggle to LoveHow to Know Yourself to Grow and Mature ---------- Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts Subscribe to our YouTube channel. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations

Boundaries are essential after betrayal, but few have any experience of knowing what boundaries to set and how to set them. In this episode, Tammy Gustafson helps us navigate this delicate but necessary topic. Tammy is a licensed counselor who is passionate about helping women recover from trauma, PTSD, and betrayal.  Boundaries are more than just drawing lines and enforcing consequences when they are crossed. They are about safety, responsibility, self-care, and the building (or rebuilding) of healthy relationships.  To learn more about Tammy and her resources, visit BetrayalHealing.com. More Resources:Betrayal Healing CoursesWives Care GroupsFirst 7 Days for Wives Related Podcasts:The Why and How of Boundaries in a Recovering MarriageBoundaries for WivesMore Boundaries for Wives ---------- Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts Subscribe to our YouTube channel. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations

Addiction can be simply defined as a repeated cycle of unhealthy or harmful behaviors that gets worse over time. In order to break free from addiction, recovery must include understanding this cycle and how to respond differently to its triggers. Today’s guest is Vern Tompke, a 30-year pastor, podcaster, and founder of Band of Brothers, a community of men helping men find freedom from unwanted sexual behaviors. Vern has developed what he calls the Stopwatch Acting Out Cycle as a tool for helping men understand their addictive cycle and how to respond more quickly when tempted to go down old paths of self-destructive behaviors.  To learn more about Vern and his resources, visit BandofBrothers.care or Vern's Podcasts. Download the Stopwatch Acting Out Cycle Diagram More Resources: Finding Traction CourseGateway to Freedom Workshop for MenFind a Counselor Related Podcasts:Beating Porn Through All Ages and Stages of LifeExposing the True Impact of PornBreaking Free with Russell Willingham ---------- Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts Subscribe to our YouTube channel. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations

There is an old saying used in Alcoholics Anonymous, “If nothing changes, nothing changes.” Also, you may have heard of a simple statement to describe insanity: “Doing the same thing over and over, but expecting a different outcome.” If you want to be free from destructive and unhealthy patterns in your life, change must happen. But how can you know if change is actually occurring?  In today’s episode, Stephen and I will unpack some core principles and practices that will indicate if true change is happening. More Resources:40 Days of Purity for MenUntangling EmotionsFind a Group Related Podcasts:Addicted Thinking vs. Healthy ThinkingHow Do I Know He is Changing? For Men Who Want to Finish Strong ---------- Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts Subscribe to our YouTube channel. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations

For 20 years our ministry has been helping men break free from unwanted sexual behaviors and pursue a life of integrity and purpose. And most of these men are married – all of whom need lots of growth in the area of emotional health and maturity.  Today, I get to interview Doctor Marriage. You have known him as my cohort and co-host, Stephen Cervantes. But he is a true expert on the topic of marriage and what it takes for husbands, especially, to revolutionize their marriage by focusing on emotional growth.  In this episode, we highlight three of Stephen’s workbook resources to help husbands grow emotionally: 49 Days of Growth: Growing in Emotional SkillsGrowth Map: The Pathway to Peace, Rest, and Joy40 Days to Oneness: Start Connecting with Your Spouse   To learn more about these resources and how to buy them, visit DoctorMarriage.org. More Resources:Gateway to Freedom workshop for menWives Care GroupsHusbandMaterial.com Related Podcasts:About Your Emotional Connecting SkillsAre You Open or Closed to Emotional Growth?What Can Stunt Your Emotional Growth Mission? ---------- Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts Subscribe to our YouTube channel. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations

Many Christian leaders struggle silently with various sexual temptations and sin. And too many never get the help they need to heal and grow in their personal sexual integrity.  Today our guest is Jorge Suarez, co-founder of CCI Counseling, a counseling ministry that provides therapy to couples as they overcome infidelity, sexual addiction, a lack of intimacy, betrayal trauma, and intimacy disorders. Jorge especially has a heart for leaders and helping them live out their God-given purpose.  In our conversation, we talk about the four key areas where leaders (and anyone, really) need health in order to thrive: EmotionalSpiritualRelationalSexual   If you are a leader or want to help Christian leaders in your life, this conversation will inspire and encourage you toward greater health and wholeness.  To connect with Jorge for further help, visit CCICounseling.com. More Resources:Broken Vessels: Restoring Broken Pastors for Kingdom UseGateway to Freedom 3-Day IntensiveThe Christian Response to Moral Failure in the Church Related Podcasts:Restoring Broken Pastors for Kingdom UseA Hopeful Response to Church Leaders Struggling with Sexual SinPastors on Porn ---------- Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts Subscribe to our YouTube channel. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations

In the best of circumstances, marriage is hard work. But when a couple has histories of brokenness and unresolved pain, it’s even more challenging.  Today’s guests are Travis and Adelle Graham, founders of The Noble Marriage, a ministry dedicated to helping struggling marriages discover true intimacy.  Travis and Adelle share their broken pasts (even though raised in Christian homes) and how that affected their marriage; how it led them both to build false images about themselves and their relationship. Eventually, their masks were removed in favor of pursuing an authentic relationship with Christ and each other. This is their story and a message of hope for couples wondering if their struggling relationship can be redeemed.  To learn more about Travis and Adelle and their marriage resources, visit TheNobleMarriage.com. More Resources:Online Marriage AcademyGenesis Christian Mediation40 Days of Oneness by Stephen Cervantes (paid link) Related Podcasts:The Recovery Process for CouplesGod, Sex, and Your MarriageRebuilding Your Marriage After Sexual Betrayal ---------- Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts Subscribe to our YouTube channel. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations

We all have a story. And stories are one of the things we value greatly in our ministry. Why? Because it is through our stories that we connect and discover and learn. Today’s guest is Neil Getzlow and he has quite a story to tell. He was raised in a Jewish home but eventually left his family tradition in preference of atheism. Along the way, he developed a porn and sex addiction, which made him miserable. Eventually, God chased him down and invited him to stop running and instead find rest and freedom in Christ.  Neil shares his experience of needing to learn how to be alone as a kid, how he was introduced to porn, the effect of his parent’s divorce, and how he came to believe that love and sex were basically the same things. He also shares the radical way in which God broke him out of his secret addiction and led him to a place of truth, grace, and hope. To learn more about Neil and get his book, visit NeilGetzlow.com. More Resources:Unmasked (book)Unmasked Podcast with NeilBebroken.org/men Related Podcasts:Keys to Long-Term Freedom from Unwanted BehaviorsThe Importance of Whole Man RecoveryBecoming the Type of Man Who Doesn't Look at Porn ---------- Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts Subscribe to our YouTube channel. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations

For couples who want to pursue reconciliation and restoration after sexual betrayal, what does the process of recovery look like? Today’s guest is Cat Etherington, Director of Recovery at Naked Truth Project. She helps us understand the key principles and practices that allow for the best possible results for couples wanting to heal and grow after betrayal. There is hope for recovery in your marriage. To learn more about Cat and her work and resources, visit http://NakedTruthProject.com. Retreats by Naked Truth Project:US Grief retreat - https://www.nakedtruth.training/wholehearted-retreat-TexasUS Couples retreat - https://www.nakedtruth.training/couples-retreat-texasAustralia Grief Retreat - https://www.nakedtruth.training/wholehearted-grief-retreat-Australia Previous episode (#872) with Cat: The Journey of Healing from Betrayal Trauma - https://youtu.be/WuUexC7Ucc8 More Resources: DisclosureHope.comHelp for HusbandsHelp for Wives Related Podcasts:Helping Couples Walk the Path of Restoration After Sexual BetrayalRebuilding a Healthy Marriage After BetrayalThe Goal is Connecting ---------- Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts Subscribe to our YouTube channel. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations

A man recently shared, “I don’t want to live the next 20 years of my life the way I have lived the past 20 years.” This is a man who wants to get on a mission of growth and change. In today’s episode, Stephen shares the journey of this man who wants to finish better than he started. We unpack many of the fundamental issues and principles that must be examined and worked on if long-term transformation is going to happen.  If you are a man who wants to finish life better than you started it, this episode will give you encouragement and insights to help you experience deep contentment and freedom. More Resources:40 Days of Training for Your SoulGateway to Freedom 3-Day WorkshopBebroken.org/men Related Podcasts:8 Comments from Men Struggling to Pursue IntegrityHow Long Does Change Take? Struggling to Come Clean and Find Rest ---------- Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts Subscribe to our YouTube channel. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations

This is our 900th episode! And it’s such a delight to release this milestone episode on my birthday. I hope it blesses you as much to listen as it did for me to record it.  Today’s episode is getting back to the basics of living a life of sexual integrity. Stephen Cervantes and I have been working with men desiring greater integrity for over 20 years, and we know that a life of integrity is not static. You must be on a daily growth mission to mature.  In our conversation, we share some of our personal growth tips and many other insights we have seen that help men get on a growth mission and discover their God-sized purpose in life. A great next step in your pursuit of greater integrity is our Gateway to Freedom 3-day intensive workshop. This Friday-Sunday event will help you get down to the roots of your unwanted sexual behaviors and provide practical, powerful direction for living each day with integrity and purpose.  Learn more about Gateway to Freedom and how to register at Bebroken.org/gtf. More Resources:FREE Integrity Webinar for Men40 Days of Purity for MenThe 4 Pillars of Purity Related Podcasts:Keys to Long-Term Freedom from Unwanted Behaviors3 Levels of SobrietyInsights and Action Steps for Men ---------- Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts Subscribe to our YouTube channel. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations

Sexual betrayal in marriage is more common than most of us would like to admit. But this terrible fracture is not incurable for couples who choose to go on a journey of healing and restoration. Our guest today is Dr. Michael Sytsma, a licensed professional counselor, ordained minister, professor, and founder of Building Intimate Marriages.  In our conversation, Michael answers questions about the “why” of affairs, the impact of past trauma, the myth of affairs only occurring in “bad” marriages, how to know if restoration is possible, what is required for restoration, and more.  To learn more about Michael and Building Intimate Marriages, visit IntimateMarriage.org. More Resources:Secrets of Sex and Marriage (book)Gateway to Freedom for MenWives Care Groups Related Podcasts:Rebuilding a Healthy Marriage After BetrayalAffair Recovery Through a Trauma LensHelping Husbands and Wives Go All In ---------- Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts Subscribe to our YouTube channel. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations

Sex education isn’t what it used to be. But the need for good, godly sex education is at an all-time high.  Our guest on today’s program is Kristen Miele. Kristen has been educating youth on the topic of sex for 12 years and is the founder of Sex Ed Reclaimed, a training organization that specializes in God-honoring accessible sex ed for children 3 to 18 years old.  In our conversation, Kristen answers questions around the importance of sex education, what needs to be taught in sex ed, how to teach it, and various obstacles that confront parents and kids alike when learning God’s good design for sex. To learn more about Kristen and their curriculum, visit SexEdReclaimed.com. More Resources: Critical Conversations Webinar for Parents7 Tips for Parents (free download)Honest Talk by John Fort Related Podcasts:Helping Your Kids Apply the Gospel to Sex and SexualityExplaining God's Design for Sex to Your KidsHoly Sexuality with Dr. Juli Slattery ---------- Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts Subscribe to our YouTube channel. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations

Everyone has experienced various emotional and mental challenges over the last three years since the Covid-19 pandemic swept the globe. Many men have faced significant mental health struggles as a result.  In today’s bonus episode, our guest is Steve Dulaney. He is a counselor in the Pacific Northwest and the director of Prodigals International, a non-profit Christian ministry focused on helping men, women and families find healing, hope, and redemption from the impact of sexual brokenness. Our conversation is focusing on all the effects of these mental health challenges men are facing today and what hope there is for better health and relationships.  To learn more about Prodigals and their resources, visit ProdigalsInternational.org. More Resources: HigherGroundMen.com RestoringHeartsConference.org (for wives)Gateway to FreedomBebroken.org/men Related Podcasts:Understanding Your "Flipped-Out" BrainDo Your Emotional Beliefs Lead You to Connection or Disconnection?Healing Your Brain ---------- Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts Subscribe to our YouTube channel. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations

Everyone has a core fear that gets woven into their soul from childhood. It tends to drive everything, from thoughts to behaviors.  But God created us in His image, and He is love. His Word tells us that “perfect (mature) love drives out fear.” (1 John 4:18) So, how can we move from being fear-driven to being love-driven? In this episode, we unpack this question and provide insights and tips to understand your fears and respond to them in healthy, redemptive ways that benefit you and your relationships. More Resources: Untangling Emotions by Groves and SmithGrace-Based Recovery Find a Counselor Related Podcasts:Overcoming the Fear that Lives in My Head50 Things to Do When Your Core Fear Gets TriggeredFinding Rest by Speaking Out Your Deepest Fear ---------- Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts Subscribe to our YouTube channel. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations