Upaya Zen Center's Dharma Podcast

How does authentic expression look? And what is the significance of authentic expression in our lives? These are the questions Sensei Monshin navigates in this heartfelt dharma talk. The silence we encounter during zazen is perhaps the deepest form of expression, Monshin says. And what is being expressed? Everything. “In every moment we are manifesting the expression of the moment. Always, no matter what.” And yet, so much of our expression comes through our “karmic filter” that upholds ourselves as separate. Through our practice, we can see this karmic filter and choose expressions that affirm our interconnectedness. When our expression emerges from non-separation “we are piercing each moment, we are meeting it freshly.”  It is both unique and universal. She reminds us that we practice “allowing ourselves to be open enough to be changed and moved by other people.” We meet our life and others as an expression of deep love.

This dharma talk by Sensei Kathie and Sensei Kozan concludes the fall practice period sesshin. The teachers express gratitude for the collective practice during the sesshin and reflect on what it means to be soon leaving the practice space. Sensei Kathie encourage participants to avoid getting stuck in absolutes and shares insights on Zen expressions related to not getting stuck in emptiness. The talk delves into specific teachings and stories that highlight the middle way and the significance of trust in Zen practice. Sensei Kozan also addresses the theme of atonement, urging practitioners to fully experience and accept their past. The talk concludes with reflections on the everyday activities of Buddha as true miracles and the importance of recognizing them in the present moment.

In this dharma talk, Sensei Monshin and Sensei Shinzan explore the theme of trust. Monshin reflects on the nature of trust, comparing it to the unhesitant movement of fish swimming in schools. Monshin reads a poem by zen master Dogen, “Given to a Zen person,” emphasizing the clarity and ease that arise from practicing zazen. Monshin shares personal insights on trust, highlighting the importance of letting go and embracing the present moment. The discussion touches on faith, doubt, and the stages of trust in the path of practice. Sensei Shinzan shares his first experience with the famous lines by Dogen “To study the way is to study the self…” and expresses how that quote, before he knew who wrote it, gave him a lot of faith in the dharma. Shinzan concludes with reflections on the impermanence of life and the timeless nature of the present moment, encapsulated in the phrase “from birth till death just this.” Day 4 dharma talk by Kathie Fischer was published on October 30, 2023 as episode #2147 titled: When a fish enters the flowing stream, everything is provided.

In this Sesshin talk Sensei Kozan emphasizes the importance of mindfulness in daily activities, discussing the challenges of dealing with pain during meditation, a common experience in sesshin. Kozan highlights the communal aspect of Zen practice and the value of sitting together. Kozan explores the concept of “just sitting” and liberation from the constant pursuit of freedom. He touches on the metaphor of arranging seats and enticing guests, linking it to the tendency to seek external experiences. The talk concludes with a call to turn the light within and return to the vast, inconceivable source, highlighting the wisdom inherent in Zen practice. Day 4 dharma talk by Kathie Fischer was published on October 30, 2023 as episode #2147 titled: When a fish enters the flowing stream, everything is provided.

In this talk Sensei Monshin continues on the theme of Shitou’s “Song of the Grass Roof Hermitage,” highlighting the commitment to practice and the value of being present with whatever arises. Monshin emphasizes the idea of “nothing of value” in zazen, inviting practitioners to let go of comparisons and judgments. The discussion explores the interconnectedness of all things and the significance of taking care of our immediate lives, and contributing to the well-being of the world.

Peter Levitt loves what he does. That is so clear from the way he shares the stories and works of Li Ye, Xue Tao, and Yu Xuanji, three Daoist women poets of the Tang Dynasty, whose writing he and Rebecca Nie have translated into English in their new book Yin Mountain: The Immortal Poetry of Three Daoist Women. He offers insight into the contexts in which these extraordinary women lived, goddess culture, the symbolism of Yin Mountain, and then reads several pieces of each of the three women’s poetry. We are very fortunate to have a window into these women’s minds, hearts, and craft. Peter sheds light on how brilliant and brave they were and how relevant their work is 1500 years later in our context.

Edoardo Eusepi, who is affectionately known around Upaya by his dharma name “Shoryu,” reflects on his transition back into the “marketplace” after four years of residency at Upaya. He reminds us of the rights of passages (zazen, sesshin, jukai) that zen practice offers us as a way to mark transitions and indicate that we have crossed a threshold. He reminds us that “threshold” has the same root as “thrash,” and that we may often feel thrashed during transitional times. He shares the touching story of his relationship with his Rottweiler Hercules and about his experience dropping preconceived notions about Hercules’ death. He reminds us of the importance of aimlessness and how there is nothing to prove, nowhere to go, no need to be a good girl or boy because all of us and this world are good already. He concludes with sharing insights from “The Good Samaritan Experiment” and a beautiful poem from Thich Nhat Hanh.

“Can we care? Can we find the joy in that?” Sensei Alan Senauke shares words from teachers throughout his life that turned, or awakened, him. These teachers include his father, his first teacher at Berkeley Zen Center, Sojun Roshi, Roshi Joan Halifax, and Suzuki Roshi. These stories are detailed in his new book Turning Words: Transformative Encounters with Buddhist Teachers. He reminds us that it is our action that turns the world; the world does not just happen to us as we sit passively by. He closes with his beautiful rendition of Bernice Johnson Reagon’s “They Are Falling All Around Me” and then a Q&A.

In this honest and courageous talk, Sensei Monshin Nannette Overley investigates the relationship between recalling our intention and where we delegate our attention, especially in lay practice. How do we divide up our lives into trivial and sacred, difficult and easy moments? She explores Lingzhao’s comment about studying the sutras: “Neither difficult nor easy. It’s like the teachings of the ancestors shining on the hundred grass tips.” Despite holding the dharma so dear and teaching it wholeheartedly to others, Monshin openly shares her recent difficulty with living by such truths as “nothing is ever out of place” given the suffering in her and her husband’s life. She talks about how she wants to “curl up” or “contract” around her suffering. She also shares a moment of remembering to open to her suffering and reflects on the brightness she felt. To conclude, she explores the Threefold Training of sila, samadhi, and prajna, which summarize the fourth noble truth and each encompass aspects of the eightfold path, the path to “freedom beyond hard and easy.”

On the summer solstice, James Fushin Bristol encourages us to shine light on those fears we carry everyday, to see what is underneath them, to see what comes alongside them. He shares vivid stories from his own life of the fear of losing connection with friends and of walking across the rim of a waterfall; he shares the stories of one man’s actions as he went into heart surgery knowing he would die and of a young xylophonist’s transformation on stage; and he shares the example of the Buddha’s many doubts and fears while walking the path. Fushin reminds us that these fears are so often projections of our minds and that practice helps us to see fear as a gateway, resources us, and reminds us of our deep intention to serve.

On the first day of the Young Adult sesshin at Upaya, Sensei Matthew Kozan Palevsky explores each of the Four Great Bodhisattva vows. He helps us understand what is meant by “creations,” and crowdsources examples of “delusions,” as well as quoting Norman Fischer Roshi about our daily experience of suffering, which runs counter to our deeply held conviction that life should not include suffering. He opens and concludes with quotes from Suzuki Roshi in Zen Mind Beginner’s Mind.

“Looking. Seeing. Peace.” Tim Burkett discusses the contents of his new book Enlightenment is an Accident in this richly informative and encouraging talk. Tim walks us through the three phases of practice — settling in, stumbling, and falling away — and offers us practices and teachings to navigate each phase and to help make us accident-prone. He especially reflects on the balance of line — our aspiration, why are we here?— and dot — just being here— practices. In the Q&A, he offers his understanding of where the phrase “enlightenment is an accident and practice makes us accident-prone” comes from and of the term “enlightenment.”

“And when you go to harvest all that surely will grow, give it away.” Hoshi Keido Troy Fernandez weaves together past and present, questions and stories, dialogue and teachings as he considers “What could my cultural/ancestral lens have to do with the dharma at a zen center?” in this beautiful and rich talk. He explores the dharma of Japanese tea ceremony, helping his father water his orchard, engaging with koans, the Mahasaccaka Sutta, and showing up even amidst doubt and fatigue, wholeheartedly. Note: Due to technical difficulties, the recording has some echo for about 85 seconds – from ~1:12 until ~2:37. Our apologies for any inconvenience.

In light of the Varela Symposium and his travels, Sensei Matthew Kozan Palevsky is interested in study and knowledge and different ways of knowing. He considers the pitfalls of knowing—how we can become separated from what we seek to know through our study of it. How do we let ourselves be porous and not try to own something, including ourselves, through study? In his investigation, Sensei Kozan delightfully references Dogen’s “All-Inclusive Study,” Bob Dylan, and the story of “grasping space” between Chinese zen masters Shigong Huizang and Xitang Zhizang.

In this photo-worthy and delightfully diagram-aided talk, Rev. Issho Fujita shares his personal story and perspective on zen practice, with an emphasis on the somatic. Issho talks about how zazen is different from human-made meditation, which tends to be goal-oriented and forceful. Zazen is about harmonizing body/posture, breath, and mind. He discusses three characteristics of this harmonizing— release, receiving, and appreciating— and clearly articulates how we can open to each of these in posture, breath, and mind and how they serve as a gateway to ease and peace (and impressive slackline abilities!). Click here to see the video containing the photos Rev. Issho references in the talk.