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This song should give food for thought. -- I Want to Eat I want a meal and I want it fast I'm looking for a quick repast It doesn't have to be incredible I'll eat anything that's edible You can call them victuals or call them vittles Just pile them on my plate, don't give me just a little I want to eat! If you want to make me say "Oh gosh!" All you've got to do is give me a nosh Give me something that's digestible That's what I like to call comestibles You know, I don't need any encouragement To chow down a load of nourishment I want to eat! I want to eat!

Disambiguation in Venice Beach [Flickr]

A song for when you're in the mood to learn vocabulary. -- My Many Moods When I think about the past and get sad I'm wistful And when I'm glad, indescribably glad I'm blissful And when I'm liable to do anything I'm capricious When I feel the need to own lots of jewels and rings I'm avaricious These are my many moods

Think of this song as the year's first HOMwork assignment. -- The Spanish say hombre The French say homme H O M spells man No matter where you're from No matter where you're from If you kill a man In a courtroom you'll be tried The crime you will be charged with Is homicide Chimps and gorillas Have human-like features We call them hominids They're human-like creatures A man who stays cheerful In a lousy economy Is a good-natured fellow A model of bonhomie Did I ever tell you About my Uncle Gus? He's only four foot six He's a homunculus The Spanish say hombre The French say homme H O M spells man No matter where you're from No matter where you're from

A lesson in taxonomy that isn't so taxing! -- If an animal gives milk Like a cow or a camel It's a mammal All the worms in the Earth And all of their kids Are annelids Creatures with external skeletons And segmented bods Are arthropods (like a crab or an insect) Single-celled, microscopic Creatures, you ought to know-a Are protozoa (like amoebas and flagellates) Mammals that live in the water Needn't fear dehydration They're cetaceans (like a whale or a dolphin) They're all part of the animal kingdom

This one isn't just for the birds. -- A man whose wife nags him all day is henpecked A man with a burden he can't shake has an albatross around his neck And I think you should know A person who admits a big mistake has got to eat crow These are bird words! Somebody with a big advantage is sitting in the catbird seat A person who tattles on his friends is a stool pigeon, that person's indiscreet And if you are a sitting duck You're a defenseless target, if you're attacked you are out of luck These are bird words! Bird Words!

This Fourth of July, exercise your right to learn new vocabulary words! -- The Declaration of Independence says: "We hold these truths to be self-evident," That means they're clear for all to see "that all men are created equal, endowed by their Creator" That means God gave them that equality for free "with certain unalienable rights" Which means they can't be taken away "among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness" That's what the Declaration of Independence does say! And that's not all it says. It continues "To secure these rights, Governments are instituted" A fancy way of saying that they are begun "deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed" Their power's based on the agreement of everyone "And when they become destructive of these ends, " When the government fails its citizens "it is the Right of the People to alter or abolish it" The people can just get together and demolish it That's what the Declaration of Independence says! Now think for a moment about what this means It means you're not beholden to kings or queens When it's time to choose a government, you get your say Because the people have the power in the USA Thanks to the Declaration of Independence!

Here's a song that's not half bad. -- Hemi, semi, and demi Three prefixes that all mean "half" Do we really need three? If you ask me It's a halfway interesting mystery A hemisphere is half a sphere Think of half the globe A semicircle is half a circle Like the bottom half of your earlobe Semiformal means kind of formal You can dress to half the nines A demigod is a lesser god One parent is human and one divine Semiannual means every six months Six months is half a year A demitasse is a half a cup When you only need half as much liquid cheer Hemi, semi, and demi Three prefixes that all mean "half" Do we really need three? Don't ask me! All I'm going to do is shrug and laugh

A song for those who won't act their age. -- You're so immature You're so silly and naive Here are words that say how sure I am that you're immature Hallo! You're callow You're young and lack experience Your smile Is juvenile You laugh at things that make no sense (because you're such a baby) I must croon You're jejune Like a little child you have no clue I'm sure you'll Be puerile 'Til long after this song is through You're so immature You're so silly and naive I sung some words that say how sure I am that you're immature

This song provides a vocabulary ped-ucation! -- Put your foot on the pedal and go PED spells "foot" in Latin don't you know An animal with four feet is a quadruped That's four feet that can carry it up on ahead A quadruped Someone who takes a walk is a pedestrian He uses his feet to move along the best he can A pedestrian Someone who can't move forward is impeded Like a man whose feet are shackled, he's defeated Impeded A statue's feet stand firmly on a pedestal That's the truth, I don't care if your friend said it's bull A pedestal Put your foot on the pedal and go PED spells "foot" in Latin don't you know

Summer's almost here--time to learn all the hot vocabulary words! -- It's hot! It's hot! When the heat is excessive It's oppressive It's hot! When it's so hot you feel horrid It's torrid When the heat could melt your ring It's sweltering It's hot! When you wish you could just be disappearing It's searing It's hot! When the heat's way more than trifling It's stifling It's hot! It's hot!

Here are some "bad" words that will impress your teacher. -- There is evil everywhere There's no use to deny it This song can't make it go away But it can help you describe it If you have no morals you are certainly depraved You'd likely do most anything, your soul cannot be saved Corrupt implies an evil you acquired from another As in "He was a nice boy 'til he was corrupted by his brother!" If your actions are so wicked that they pain us The things you do can surely be described as heinous I know this fellow who is strange, with a sheep he flirted There's no doubt about it, that fellow is perverted If you're like a devil, if some day in Hell you'll frolic People might say accurately you're diabolic There is evil everywhere There's no use to deny it This song can't make it go away But it can help you describe it

Have a laugh on us! -- There are many different types of laughter If I sing them to you now you might remember them after You bite into some food that is really bitter Your friend sees your face and he starts to titter You notice that your teacher is a big nose picker You know you shouldn't laugh but you start to snicker A laugh that sounds like a bird is called a cackle If it's loud enough, it will raise your hackles The funniest thing that you ever saw Is likely to cause you to guffaw When you laugh real loud, that's called a chortle We need to learn to laugh because we're mortal There are many different types of laughter If I sing them to you now you might remember them after

Are you pacific or belligerent? This song may help you decide the answer. P A C and B E L Are the Latin roots for peace and war You can have one but you can't have both Because when it comes to peace and war It's a case of either/or [We want P A C--PEACE] Magellan sailed across an ocean That was so peaceful he thought it was terrific The ocean didn't have a name So he called it the Pacific I have a friend who will not fight Fighting is a thing he does resist He believes peace is the answer He is called a pacifist If you've got a shrieking baby If that baby is a crier You can calm him down and get some peace By giving him a pacifier [Give us B E L--WAR!] I know something 'bout the Civil War Do you think that I should tell 'em? [YEAH!] The years before the Civil War Are sometimes called the antebellum A war against the government Usually does not go well Those who fight the government Are called rebels, they rebel Nations that fight one another Can be called belligerents They fight for peace but wind up dead Or injured as a consequence In this way, war does not make sense P A C and B E L Are the Latin roots for peace and war You can have one but you can't have both Because when it comes to peace and war It's a case of either/or

It's no sin to use synonyms!