The Cult of Matt and Mark

This week Matt and Mark continue our Vampire Weekends movie marathon with Guillermo del Toro's sequel Blade 2. Despite being a fun Matrix-style neo chop-socky action film, it also deals with the idea of "vampire normalcy" in pop culture. Having familiarized ourselves with vampiric menace for decades now, Blade 2 must invent a more sinister "Reaper" variety to inspire the menace, a beast so sinister it feeds on vampires as well as humans. Because with your garden-variety vampires no more sinister than club kids, you gotta take it up a notch. Download: 216 Blade 2

Our second Park Chan-wook film review, Matt and Mark review Thirst from 2009 while in the midst of our Vampire Weekends movie marathon. A lesser film than the more intense Oldboy, Thirst deals with the moral dilemma of vampiric transformation and its predatory aspects. While Matt took issue with the insertion of Catholic guilt, Mark enjoyed the film's more visceral aspects. Matt's viewing comprehension was piss poor this go around, but luckily Mark's astute viewing habits mopped up the film's fine details. Download: 215 Thirst (2009)

The Vampire Weekends movie review marathon rolls on and this week, as Matt and Mark review the very 80's The Lost Boys from 1987. A modern retelling of Peter Pan with vampire teenagers? Besides the flying and the name, we're not big enough Pan Fans to give this much credence. While Matt liked exactly the opposite of what Ebert liked (Is Mark the anti-Ebert incarnate?), Matt indulged the very 80's aspects of this film, including the first union of the Two-Coreys, and the whole "I wear my sun-glasses at night" Corey Hart tribute. Download: 214 The Lost Boys

The unsung Christopher Lee stars as the titular Dracula in this classic Hammer Horror film released in 1958. Titled "Horror of Dracula" stateside, as to not confuse the Bela Lugosi holdouts 25 years earlier, Lee defines menace and could arguable be the best portrayal of the undead count. Liberally reworked from the original Bram Stoker novel, it captures Le'essance of the Dracula idea, a seductive charming wraith with a supernatural force complimenting the natural ensemble. While we all wait for Bahaus to change the lyrics over to "Christopher Lee is Dead", we have this cinematic horror gem to relish. Download: 213 Dracula (1958)

Our first film review in the "Vampire Weekends" movie marathon, this week we review Jarmusch's Only Lovers Left Alive. A film about the human continuum and the essence of nostalgia, it uses the vampire lovers Adam and Eve as juxtaposition to describe humanity's attachments to the past and the nature of art. To create art is to embrace mortality and the material. And while a compulsion, it may weigh heavy on the immortal mind. An excellent vampire film, however all that hipster name-dropping ship can go hang. "Yeah man, I know Jack White. blah-blah-blah". Download: 212 Only Lovers Left Alive

A modern take on the venerable Most Dangerous Game, Matt and Mark review the Ice-T vehicle Surviving the Game. A cast list like something out of a whose-who of guy-movie favs from the VHS era, we get to have fun with the likes of Gary Busey and Rutguer Hauer as they go on the male-bonding ritual of the bum hunt. Mark and Matt disagree on the plausibility of the action, but what we do agree on is that Janet Maslin of the NYT coats the premise with a racist paint brush and as a result, dismisses not only a decent action movie, but also its would-be movie goers. Janet, you are dead to us. Download: 211 Surviving the Game

A movie concept that exceeds its ability to execute, The Wraith staring a pre-addled Charlie Sheen and a sultry pre-Twin Peaks Sherilyn Fenn is a film you have to admire for its idea. Adapting archetypal stories from Victorian legend and Greek myth, it fits them into a teen-age car movie like a dark supernatural American Graffiti, but without the deft hand of character building and plotting of -dare I say- George Lucas. Small details. Its highlight however is the cartoonish fun the film has with the evil car gang and their psuedo-lingo. Also the film stars Clint Howard, so you really can't complain. Download: 210 The Wraith

There is an uncanny valley of bad films that come along so rarely, when they are unearthed, they immediately attain cult status. Is it the unintentional humor? You know, the stilted awkward dialogue no human being would ever utter naturally, or the action scenes hatched straight from the scribblings of an 80's thirteen year old? Samurai Cop is a bad film that is not only bad, but is also extremely watchable and ridiculously funny... a rare gem. There's plenty of terrible cinema, but most of it commits the cardinal scene of just being flat-out boring. For its sins, Samurai Cop thankfully does not. Download: 209 Samurai Cop

Tyrian? Valerian? Dragons? Could George RR Martin's Game of Thrones be nothing but an homage to the great Disney/Paramount hybrid Dragonslayer from 1981? Since Mr. Martin considers Vermithrax Pejorative the greatest cinematic dragon of all time, it just may be. Matt and Mark review the 35 year old dragon picture and believe that its classic affects still hold up to this day. An aged ragged bat-like dragon brings realism to the mythical beast, assuming such a monster had once existed. Beyond its quest/dragon mantle, Dragonslayer builds out its characters into complicated moral creatures questioning justice and the statusquo of patriarchy. Download: 208 Dragonslayer

In the vein of Pitch Black and Event Horizon, we review another unsung solid B sci-fi film; this time Pandorum. An oft trod sub-genre of science fiction, the "generation ship" gets its due in this film to entertaining affect. Completely undeserving of its 28% Rotten Tomatoes rating, Pandorum is a niche film that unlike its many contemporaries is true science fiction, not just a western set in outer space. While Mark had his list of plausibility complaints, they were small and outweighed by the care of production design. Download: 207 Pandorum 

The Shining in Space? Or maybe 2010 with a little Solaris thrown in? Hmm... no? How about Hellraiser meets Alien? Well, whatever Paul Anderson's Event Horizon was attempting, it got short shrift from a mercilessly hurried editing job that diminished what might have been its seminal scenes of horror and dread. But does it work? Just a little bit, and that's all that might be necessary here. Despite its scientific plot holes, there's enough here that allows EH to stand the test of time, at least from a cult film standpoint. Download: 206 Event Horizon

Mark has stealthily kicked off his "Summer of Action" (unbeknownst to Matt) a few movies back, and now we're full throttle this week with the Vin Diesel engine Pitch Black! Inaugurating a milquetoast space opera franchise that still lingers, here we're introduced to the titular Riddich! A straight up decent B sci-fi film, PB doesn't pretend to be anything its not and in the process delivers a well rounded fleshed out cast of monster fodder. Benefiting from the blackness, the sins of nascent CGI effects are dutifully hidden for maximum affect. Download: 205 Pitch Black

Ah yes, the classic teen summer sex comedy where the frustrated protagonist, in a series of hijinks, ends up sleeping with his mom... no.... wait! Yep, 1994's Spanking the Monkey builds the strangely believable scenario of how such a preposterous Greek drama may actually unfold in the sub-urban present day. Matt and Mark agree that the film would have been able to deliver its point without the taboo act, but would it have been as poignant? Perhaps. But in a truly dysfunctional family, rife with jealousy and unrequited needs, incest as an act of vandalism maybe isn't that unbelievable. However, Matt and Mark agree, having to spank the titular monkey in the bathroom of a somewhat empty house is absolute contrivance! Download: 204 Spanking the Monkey

The NRA fantasy which Chuck Heston somehow misconstrued for reality later in life, The Omega Man attempts a worthy adaptation of the Matheson vampire classic I Am Legend... and kind of fails. The tone changes and plot holes, including The Family as worthy post-apocalyptic adversaries, divorced the film from the lonely psychological epic of its source material. There's been three IAL adaptations, all failing to deliver the titular goods due to Hollywood's need for a well tested ending. The Omega Man, sadly, is just an imperfect milestone towards the yet-to-be-made film we all deserve. Download:  203 The Omega Man

Vampires in space! Oh the high concept! Matt and Mark find the thin blue/green/red/gray line of our mutual tastes with this week's review. While Matt picks at the film's contrived ideas and its poorly thought out feasibility, Mark gives Lifeforce a pass, enjoying the dry wit of the British characters and B-movie silliness. A movie that really should never have been made, Lifeforce, like many megaplex flops, is a film artifact, and for that reason, I/we suppose it is worth a watch. Download: 109 Lifeforce