Lou Reads the Internet for YOU!
Summary: Lou goes to places you never even wanted to know existed on the internet and returns with a podcast you can't stop listening to. All the posts he reads are real even if you don't want to believe it! Sometimes disturbing, sometimes enlightening but always fun to listen to. Some examples of places Lou has gone are a forum for heroin addicts where junkies share their tips on how to negotiate the world of heroin for new junkies, a different forum where people share their most awkward sexual encounters and yet another forum where teenagers who believe they are vampires tell of the time they discovered their true-selves. The internet changes everyday and Lou is there looking for the craziest and most interesting stuff to read about. Check it out today!
Are you looking to get ripped? Need shed some pounds? Do you need a safe place to talk about why if homosexuality is ok then incest should be okay, too? Well you might benefit from reading the forums at bodybuilding.com. Not only is Bodybuilding.com a great place to learn about your physical wellbeing, it’s a safe haven for some of the dumbest discussions online. To be fair, the vast majority of the discussions are mostly your typical fitness advice, knowledge exchange & general bickering. But some of the thread on the forums are really hilariously silly. Thanks for listening and please be sure to rate the show wherever shows can be rated! Hugs & kisses, Lou
I really don’t want to share any images related to this episode. Circumcision is a controversial topic. For me it’s a Star-Bellied Sneeches thing. “They have extra skin on thars!” If you didn’t know about foreskin would you miss it? Well, these guys would and they do. On the other hand the reasons for circumcision are really amazingly stupid. Mainly because they are based on religious nonsense and outdated medical knowledge. If God told you to kill someone because they believed in a different religion than you would you? Never mind. I hope you enjoy this episode. Whatever you do don’t let someone you cut you off mid-podcast.
I’m a dad. This topic is close to my heart because giving my kids a hard time in a fun & friendly way is one of the funnest things I get to do on a daily basis. In this episode of Lou Reads I once again delved back into the posts of Reddit to find tales of dads trolling. I hope you enjoy listening to these stories shared by the victims of fatherly mind-fuckery as much as I enjoyed reading them.
Well, here we are again. Exploring the marvels of human sexuality. Todays topic is balloon fetishists. AKA: Looners. It’s sad to think that our pre-inflatable forefathers never were able to get their rocks off by squashing a balloon with their butts or high heels until pop. Why, what kind of greater nation could have been build if they only knew what they were missing. Well, thanks to these brave true-believers who squash, pop, jump on and general just break balloons we don’t have to worry. I’m sure George Washington is looking down from that slave plantation he owned in the sky to say “Hot damn! I wish I could pop me one of them there b-loons! That looks like a fucking hot ass time!” Or at least that is what I like to think. Well, I hope you enjoy this episode. It was recorded a gift in June 2015 and I share it with you now. Be sure to rate Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! on iTunes, etc. Thanks!
Hey, nice to see you again. Please take your clothes off and hang them up over there. In the living room you’ll find a group of open & inviting couples who are looking forward to fucking you. So, good luck with all the fucking. This episode of Lou Reads is all about the wonderful world of swinging. Swinging is a mysterious world of polyamory & thrills among consenting adult. If your relationship is strong enough to endure watching your partner be pleased by another person well then good for you. Sadly, this kind of messing around is frowned upon by polite society. I say “sadly” because I really want to bone your wife. Anyway, I hope you enjoy listening to all of this Swingers nonsense and let me know if your wife is DTF. Oh yeah, my wife is not into this scene so don’t mention this to her…
Hey, do you know a good place to go and talk about prostitutes? Well I do. Especially if you want to talk about prostitutes in and around England. What is this wondrous place you ask? Well it’s the fabulous forums of UK Punting. Uk Punting is a website for the many men in the UK who frequent prostitutes. It’s a safe place for them to get together to share their experiences with the same prostitutes & call girls that they are all fucking. Of course it is great that there is a place you can go and read up on and rate all the hookers in your area. An informed customer is a happy customer. Especially when it comes to fucking random ladies for money. I hope you enjoy this punt-cast. Below is a book actually written by the owner of UK Punting! Guess which one it is!
Look, I know you said you’re up for anything, so I was thinking that we should go down to Walgreen’s, buy a fuck-load of DXM cough syrup and drink the shit out it. Why? So we can get super high, stupid! Why are you so stupid? Have you already been drinking cough syrup? Is that why you’re so dumb? Oh? Well, cool… So this episode is all about the great idea of drinking cough syrup to trip. Aka “Robo-Tripping.” I know, it sounds like a great idea. Well, listen for yourself and decide if you’re missing out. And if you do your local pharmacy is just down the street just sitting there chok’ful of liquid tripping just waiting for you! Go on, now… CHUG!
Hey there, are you ready for a fun podcast? You are? Me, too! Okay, lets get started. Wait, before I begin let me take a second to gulp down some air. Why? Oh, because I want to make a series of burps that I will hope you find erotic. What do you mean you don’t find burps erotic. Whats not to like? I mean, it’s air… that has been in your tummy… and then it comes out with a big sexy noise and, with any luck, some hot stomach contents smell. I mean, if you aren’t down with that then I don’t know why we hang out. Oh… you’re leaving… I see… Well, if this scenario sounds familiar you are probably already a fan of The Burp Fetish Forum. It’s a small community of people with a very particular fetish revolving around the expulsion of air from either mouth or butt. Why? No one seems to be able to really put it into words that I could find. Regardless, they like a nice belch or fart and I guess there isn’t anything wrong with that. Do I care for it? No, sir. I have enough personal issues with gas in my life to worry about someone getting a boner when air escapes my various orafices. The only thing I like coming out of my mouth is the words of the stupid internet. Enjoy!
First, let me begin by stating that this episode has given me my new life motto. “If you’re going to talk about dominating something, you should be dominating pussy and money.” Honestly, it’s hard to discuss this episode. I mean without just outright talking about African American sex organs and the white women, and apparently men, who are craving to be stretched to the limit by them. Now, we could spend time discussing the fetishes of humiliation, or all the articles about penis size that seem to come out constantly, or the whole cuckold thing versus couples that have open relationships, etc. I mean, while this episode is mainly about what is known in the vernacular as BBC it doesn’t just only talk about that. It explores such topics as “Why white women like to have unprotected sex?” and “Why white men like to fellate BBC?” I know you can’t get enough of this horrible nonsense. Here, buy some awful cuckold erotica!
Here, boy! Here, boy! That’s a good human doggy. Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy! Now, feel free to lick my boot. If you found yourself excitedly leaping about and getting ready to lick a boot then do I have a fetish for you! Please, allow me to introduce you to the world of Human Pups. This is a subculture of mostly gay men who are into the BDSM scene and like to role play as dogs. The type of roleplay is as varied as the types of dogs in the world (This may be an exaggeration.) But, mainly it’s about acting like a dog for a thrill and humiliation (Which is somehow freeing.) Is it something silly and childlike taken to an absurd length? No doubt. But how serious is this fetish? Serious enough to have a 10 year history & international contest. Ok, so maybe it’s older than that (I’m sure it is. I’m just not going to look.) Who cares. I just hope you enjoy my reading from the world of human pups. Please just remember one thing: You can’t just feed your human pups actual dog food. It’s not good for them. They need people food. Table scraps are probably ok.
You know, as a parent I sometimes feel like I’m doing a terrible job with my kids. Then I read some stories like these and I’m like, “Oh… I guess I’m doing ok after all.” I don’t even know if it is okay for me to say “Enjoy” this episode because its just depressing… I guess I hope you enjoy it. A lot of the stories in this episode are long and will make you feel bad… Remember the time that you didn’t get a toy you wanted and you were sad and mad at your parents for it? Listen to this episode and give your parents a high five for not completely fucking you up. Enjoy?
Hey there, are you interested in peeing in your pants or bed? No? Okay then. How about pooping? Could I talk you into maybe pooping in your pants or diaper. No? How about just wearing the diaper and then if you like it we can negotiate your peeing & pooping in it later? No? Wow… Okay, well then I guess you may not be interested in a forum membership at WET SET. As you’ll soon hear, if you choose to proceed, this forum is a mix of adult baby behavior focused mainly on the soiling of things. So, no baby talk but plenty of talk about wetting, pooping and other nonsense. I hope you enjoy it. I found it particularly absurd. Also, not directly related, while I was looking for images for this episode I discovered this horrifying episode of MY STRANGE ADDICTION about a woman who sucks urine soaked baby diapers… I defy you to watch with cringing. Do not have food before watching that… Thanks for listening to LOU READS! Please remember to write review on iTunes!
You know how sometimes you buy a piece of jewelry from an antique store and you can just feel that there is an energy trapped inside? Or when you use a Ouija board that you’re pretty sure may be bringing demons over from the other side into you home? Or you know that feeling you get when you’re pretty sure you’re a tantric vampire? Oh right, you don’t get those because you’re a rational person who doesn’t hang out at the Talk Paranormal forums. Actually, Talk Paranormal is an interesting site with a lot of users dumping a healthy amount of skepticism on each other on a regular basis. All the while encouraging people to chat about their interest in the supernatural and other absurdities. I hope you enjoy it. It’s a long one! Hey there, thanks a ton for listening to Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! I truly hope you enjoy listening to it as much as I enjoy recording & laboriously editing each one. So, I say again, thank you from the bottom of my internet weakened heart. Keep listening!
So you have this craving. I know you think it was to get a new episode of this podcast. But what if it was the craving to get suddenly eaten by a tiger’s dick? Or maybe to get swallowed live and live in a giant’s tummy? Well, if that was your craving then not only am I a mind reader but I’m also a vore forum reader. And as you may have guessed, that will be this episode’s subject. Don’t know what VORE is? Well, now you do! VORE Anyway, I hope you enjoy this episode. As I hope you enjoy every single episode… I know. It’s too much to ask…
Heroin! Opiates! We love them! Who doesn’t?! We all love them equally, too. Well, maybe some people love them a little more than others. If you’re the kind of person who loves them so much that you throw your life away to do them all the time you… well, you’ve put yourself in a bit of a pickle, sonny. But where do you go to talk to people if you’ve decided that a life of occasional bliss and more than occasional constant craving is the thing for you? Why the forums of Opiophile.com of course. Opiophile is a safe haven for users, abusers & survivors of the dope game where they can come together and discuss everything from their local drug scene, harm reduction and the day to day issues of being a slave to the poppy in it’s numerous forms. Many forums have sections dedicated to heroin and the like but Opiophile is pretty much the only forum I know dedicated to opiates and once again proved to be a very interesting and informative read. I hope you enjoy it. Other Heroin related sites you may find interesting. DequinxyJinxie (RIP) – Heroin Glassine Bag Art & Product Review That Guy’s on Heroin – Street reports and unflattering photos of people nodding (or worse) in public. Focused mainly on junies in Baltimore but also takes submissions from around the world. HBO’s documentary – Black Tar Heroin: The Dark End of the Street