Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! show

Lou Reads the Internet for YOU!

Summary: Lou goes to places you never even wanted to know existed on the internet and returns with a podcast you can't stop listening to. All the posts he reads are real even if you don't want to believe it! Sometimes disturbing, sometimes enlightening but always fun to listen to. Some examples of places Lou has gone are a forum for heroin addicts where junkies share their tips on how to negotiate the world of heroin for new junkies, a different forum where people share their most awkward sexual encounters and yet another forum where teenagers who believe they are vampires tell of the time they discovered their true-selves. The internet changes everyday and Lou is there looking for the craziest and most interesting stuff to read about. Check it out today!

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  • Artist: Lou Reads the Internet for YOU!
  • Copyright: Copyright © King Lou Fernandez, 2009-Present

Podcasts:

 Lou Reads ep161: Tales of Stupidity in Airplanes | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 38:52

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome onboard Podcast Episode 161 with service from your listening device to your ears. We are currently third in line for take-off and are expected to be in your ears for approximately 39 minutes. We ask that you please fasten your seatbelts at this time and secure all personal baggage underneath your seat or in your head compartments. We also ask that your seats and table trays are in the upright position for pod-off. In fact, don’t even recline at all because it’s only like a 2 inch recline and it isn’t worth the annoyance to the person behind you. Please turn off all personal electronic devices, except laptops and cell phones or whatever you’re going to listen to this on. Smoking is bad for you but I understand if you need it for addiction purpose for the duration of the podcast. Thank you for choosing Lou Reads Airlines. Enjoy your flight. After the traumatic response to last month’s episode I decided to go with a little palette cleanser. Simple stories of crazy stuff happening on planes from the r/AskReddit subreddit. I hope you enjoy it! amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0"; amzn_assoc_search_bar = "true"; amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "loureads-post-20"; amzn_assoc_search_bar_position = "bottom"; amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "search"; amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; amzn_assoc_region = "US"; amzn_assoc_title = "Shop Related Products"; amzn_assoc_default_search_phrase = "Flight Attendant Stories"; amzn_assoc_default_category = "All"; amzn_assoc_linkid = "931d84821e46f2c438103fe1adf794ca";

 Lou Reads ep160: The Scabby Forums of Skin Pick | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 54:26

Oh man, I can feel it. It’s almost there! Just a few more squeezes and I’ll get my reward. A reward of oil, dirt & bacteria. Maybe, if I’m lucky, I’ll get some pus! Maybe some of those nice blackhead rods that come out on a Biore strip. I just wish I all this blood would stop getting in the way of the squeezing! This month’s episode of Lou Reads is a visit to the Forums of Skin Pick. Skin Pick is an online resource and community, for people who suffer from Compulsive Skin Picking. They also offer services to help you stop messing with your skin. I didn’t explore the services they sell but I did discover the uncomfortable world of those among us who just can’t leave their bodies alone. Do you think you have parasites in your skin? Are you convinced that your scabs are infested with foreign weirdness? Eat skin you’re peeling off your feet? Well, it sounds like you need a doctor. In the meantime you have Skin Pick. Whether it’s absent minded picking at your face, belly button or feet… cut it out. It’s clearly a symptom of a disorder you should seek help for. Don’t eat your foot skin. Talk to a therapist. Tough love! amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0"; amzn_assoc_search_bar = "true"; amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "loureads-post-20"; amzn_assoc_search_bar_position = "bottom"; amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "search"; amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; amzn_assoc_region = "US"; amzn_assoc_title = "Shop Related Products"; amzn_assoc_default_search_phrase = "Skin Pick"; amzn_assoc_default_category = "All"; amzn_assoc_linkid = "931d84821e46f2c438103fe1adf794ca";

 Lou Reads Ep159 – The Sissy Babies of Sissy Kiss | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 48:48

Hewoe. I’m a witty, bitty baby. Won’t you put a bwutt pwug in my bum bum? Fank-oo berry much. Me wuv oo… Ok… So… Adult babies meets humilation fetish in a meeting of the oddness. This fits into the Alex Shaw, from School of Movies, fetish danger scale firmly in the “Weird but not harming anyone” category. In theory I understand the concept of baby regression and wanting to be taken care of but I totally do NOT get the whole humiliation thing. Life sucks enough without having to pretend to be an emasculated baby man in a diaper with a cage on your dick and plug up your ass. But as long as you’re doing that at home then go bananas. This may be unkind but I pray this never becomes accepted enough that people do it public. I don’t think I could contain my scorn… I apologize for being judgy but… yeah… Unless it was Trump… Here is the link to The Something Awful Weekend Web that launched a thousand dirty nappies. I seriously used to look forward to trying to find the dumbest things on every forum I went on. I have to admit I was pretty good at it! *humblebrag* And here’s a link to the The F Plus episode I mention on the podcast. 63: Achtung! Adult Babies! I seriously recommend listening to the baby talk story. I remember walking down the street laughing with a pained look on my face. So good. Thanks for listening everyone! amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0"; amzn_assoc_search_bar = "true"; amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "loureads-post-20"; amzn_assoc_search_bar_position = "bottom"; amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "search"; amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; amzn_assoc_region = "US"; amzn_assoc_title = "Shop Related Products"; amzn_assoc_default_search_phrase = "adult baby"; amzn_assoc_default_category = "All"; amzn_assoc_linkid = "931d84821e46f2c438103fe1adf794ca";

 Lou Reads ep158 Conspiracy Madness from the Let’s Roll Forums | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 58:44

This podcast is an obvious tool of the MSM (mainstream media) to help perpetrate a fraud on the people of the Earth. I mean, you can hear that the “human” who is reading these posts is clearly either an A.I. approximation of a human designed to trick normals or an MK-Ultra brainwashed dupe. I feel sorry for the sheeple who listen to this and come out believing that contrails aren’t poisoning the earth for real or that the Boston Marathon bombing was real and not a big hoax. All I can say is, if someone comes for my guns… I’ll be sad… But at least then I’ll be right, for once! Hey, folks. This month I’m reading from the Let’s Roll Forums. Obviously, that is a reference to the words of the people who fought back against the hijackers on 9/11 and not a reference to them loving Katamari Damacy. The Let’s Roll Forums are a one-stop-shop for all your crockpot conspiracy theories. From 9/11 to Sandy Hook and beyond. No tragedy is so real that it’s above not being real at all. And just like that sentence, none of it makes sense. So, if you like to get worked up into a lather about stuff then this is the place for you! Won’t you please enjoy listening to the heartfelt weirdness of the Let’s Roll Forums.

 Lou Reads ep157 Canadian Escort Reviews | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 65:45

Prostitutes, who doesn’t love them? I mean, who doesn’t love them as long as they give a full & real Girlfriend Experience and don’t try to rip me off and look at me while we’re fucking! How am I supposed to fool myself into thinking you are enjoying this if you won’t look at me? LOOK AT MEEEEE!!! The weird and wonderful world of escort lovers. I’m sure you’ll all recall when I read from the English escort review site PUNTERNET. Well, I thought it was time that I read about some of the great ladies of the evening from the Great White North. So strap on your headphones and get ready to hear some tales of the amazing & not so amazing sex workers of Canada!

 Lou Reads ep156 – Tales from the Forums of Drugs And Users | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 60:50

DRUGS! WHOO! LET US CONSUME THEM IN MANY DIFFERENT MANNERS! This time around I’m reading from the forums of Drugs and Users. This is a forum that rose from the ashes of the Opiophile forum. You may recall I did a couple of readings from that site before it closed. Far too many people start using drugs without the proper information they need. Whether its information about the addictiveness of certain drugs, the safe use of drugs or how not to get ripped off, a lot of people have to learn the hard way. Fortunately for the online drug using community there are sites like this where people can feel free to share their experiences. Having drugs become your all-encompassing focus in life can make your world very small and these kinds of sites really do serve as a lifeline for a lot of users around the world. That being said, there is a lot of entertainment value to be gleaned from the casual conversations of people deeply entrenched in their own drug fueled lives. I hope you enjoy it.

 Lou Reads episode 155 – The Forums of The Coli | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 55:14

What up, my fellow CAC‘s? Listen, I don’t care if you get down with the local thots or you on that PAWG tip. All I care is that you listening to this episode of Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! This episode is all about a forum known as The Coli. The Coli is a forum dedicated to Sports, Hip Hop & PIFF. Among the other things they talk about are how to treat women, how to get revenge on mean gym employees and how they would feel finding out their girlfriend had slept with a dog. If that doesn’t make you want to listen then I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.

 Lou Reads ep154 – The Forums of Plenty of Fish | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 52:36

Thank the bearded skyman that I haven’t had to deal with the humiliations of the online dating scene. Knowing how terrible I was at dating in general as a young adult it withers the soul to think of putting myself through that now. Luckily for me these fine people are online dating and talking about their trials & tribulations. Now, these aren’t stories of bad dates but just general dating discussions that I found interesting… I do hope you’ll enjoy the forums of Plenty of Fish.

 Lou Reads ep153 – Juggalo Discussions from Faygoluvers.net | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 56:22

What up, fam? WHOOP WHOOP! I got mad love my for ninjas! Or rather that is what I might say if I were a Juggalo. I am not but the people at the forums of FaygoLuvers.net most certainly are. Join me as I read a bunch of random threads of Juggalos and Juggalettes sharing their opinions on a myriad bunch of topics and marvel as how often they get political! If you’re confused about what I’m talking about when I talk about Juggalos then I recommend that you watch the video below. It is great. American Juggalo from Sean Dunne on Vimeo. Don’t forget to register to vote!

 Lou Reads Episode 152 – Alien Abduction Forums | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 50:59

I remember when I was a growing up as a kid there were two distinct periods when alien encounters & alien abduction were all the rage. There were shows in the 70’s like “Project Blue Book” and the classic “Alien Autopsy” film that was all the rage in the 90’s. My whole life I was into shows like The X Files & My favorite Martian or even the classic movies likeAlien! What I’m saying is that aliens from outer space are great entertainment! That is, unless they are visiting you in the middle of the night to do weird experiments on you while you’re sleeping! That hardly seems fair or necessary. And yet our alien visitors continue to come to earth to torture & probe & experiment on us while we sleep. Surely they should use all their superior technology to make the earth a better place to live! But no, it turns out that aliens aren’t like My Favorite Martian after all. They are night visiting, paralyzing, sample taking assholes. I hope you’ll enjoy listening to these discussions from the forums of the Alien Abduction Help. Are these people for real? Well, judging by the responses on this forum that these people believe not only in aliens but a whole host of conspiracies and mystical things. Also, judging by the low amounts of traffic on this website I’d say that the current level of global interest in alien abductions is pretty much zero. As always, thanks for listening! Be sure to rate the show on iTunes & wherever podcasts can be rated! As mentioned on the episode: THE STORY OF THE ALIENS OF EL YUNQUE Elder HunbatZ Men meets the Crystal Skull from Brazil Meditation guide by Bonnie

 Lou Reads ep151 – Mermaid Talk from the MerNetwork | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 59:26

What’s the matter? You look like you came down with a case of fin rot! Come on you can share your feelings with me. Catfish got your tongue? Ok, well you don’t have to tell me what your deal is but if you feel like talking about it I recommend checking out the forums of The MerNetwork. This episode is all about the wonderful world of the MerMaiding community. I’ll bet you thought it was all about people who wish they were really MerMaids or debate the possibility of there being REAL mermaids in the depths of the ocean. Nope, it’s just some folks talking about dressing up like a half-fish and flopping around in pools. I’ll bet you feel like a real asshole now. Serves you right. Enjoy!

 Lou Reads episode 150 – Tales of Sibling Injuries | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 40:55

Ok, I admit I meant to push you off that cliff but I really didn’t mean for you to get THAT hurt. I guess in hindsight it should have been more obvious that a 300 foot drop may have resulted in multiple contusions. Again, my bad. But look at it this way. In 30 years, if you pull through, we are going to laugh & laugh. You might even get a fun nickname like “Old Falling Jim” and I might get called something like “Pusherman.” We don’t have to go with those ideas but, you know, just think about it. Ok, visiting hours are over so I’ll catch you later. Whatever you do, don’t die… Mom would be hella pissed at me if you do. Ok, later, little bro! I don’t know if this is a good representation of the kind of posting that happens at the Fark.com forums but it is as close as I’m going to get for the time being. This episode is a collection of mostly fun stories of kids getting injured by or injuring their siblings. If you have a brother or sister (however they present their gender today) you’ll most likely have at least a few similar stories in your mental roladex. I’m sure my brother could make his own podcast about what a complete asshole I was to him growing up. Sigh… Anyway, I hope you enjoy this break from the wretchedness of the episodes of the recent past. I know I needed a break from the awfulness! Next month I’ll be back to the horrors. Until then, enjoy the show!

 Lou Reads ep149. The Horrible Racism of ShitSkin.com | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 50:50

Look, we’re all a little racist, right? We all dabble in little stereotypes we think are based in reality. You know, like all Puerto Ricans are carrying at least 2 knives at all times or black people don’t tip or that filipino people’s livers can be used to cure AIDS. I’m sure we’ve all said that last one. But, I’m sure we can all agree that really, all we want to do is complain about African Americans. Like, all the time. It’s nice to know that there is a place you can go on the internet to hang out with like minded people and just pour all your super bad feelings about African Americans in a terrible echo chamber for like-minded bigots. That place is of course Shit Skin Plantation. Shit Skin is a new home for the people who used to post openly super racist things at the now defunct Chimp Out website. While not as busy a site as Chimp Out, Shit Skin is still full of virulent uber racism. FUN! I won’t lie, reading from this website was unpleasant and although I have a few similar sites in my spreadsheet I will probably take a break from reading anything so over the top as far as using the N-Word is concerned! Enjoy!

 Lou Reads Ep148 My Husband Pooped in the Shower | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 30:27

Hey, it happens to everyone, right? You get in the shower, you realize you need to poop. Now you have a choice, get out and have a weird wet poop on the toilet or just have a sensical dump right there in the shower. Oh… that doesn’t happen to everyone? Uh… yeah.. me neither. This episode was a pretty entertaining silliness. My own story of shower pooping (a complete accident) was part of a time in my life when I had constant irritable bowel syndrome issues. I won’t go into details but it was gross… Anyway, I hope you enjoy the episode. Ironically, I’m stuck home editing this because I have some kind of super terrible stomach flu! Blehhh. Now watch this video. It is the best.

 Lou Reads ep 147 – Share Your Druggiest Moments from Something Awful | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 50:25

Oh my God, dude. Last week I was so wrecked. Dude, you would not believe it. I took so many drugs! How many? Like this many! What is the deal with 1p-LSD? Anyway, I always enjoy reading the stories of peoples silly (scary) adventures in altered states. Most of these are not THAT bad but they are still entertaining. I hope you find them so.

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