Read it and Weep

In the second part of our slog through Atlas Shrugged, we show a few signs of wear and tear. Still, we power through: Compliment Sandwich Hate Bingo Writers Workshop (we probably should have warned Forrest beforehand that he had to play Ayn Rand) And screwing like a business man! Today's guest Forrest has a blog where he takes pictures of himself while he watches Portland Trailblazers games.

Atlas Shrugged is arguably the most influential terrible book that we've read yet. Libertarians, conservatives, and people who want to read about 1-dimensional characters sexually assaulting each other all find the book compelling. Can it live up to the hype? Well, "who is John Galt?" Debate: Trains vs. Steel! New Game: Hate Boggle Chris develops an immunity to stupid. The benefits of a monster cave. And much, much more. Today's guest Nick has a website full of fake facts.

The smog isn't the only thing LA produces that makes me gag. As our panel discusses the mercifully brief second half of Lauren Conrad's awful book, they cover: French words that may or may not be dirty. How to create your Read It And Weep On-Air Personality Name Why do some people sound stupid, and, more importantly, why does Ezra feel bad for anybody who sounds that way? And the great Pandog Today's guest Kate has a personal blog that's pretty funny and has pictures of pretty things.

It doesn't take much to get a book contract. Or a TV show. Or a movie deal. Or, in the case of Lauren Conrad, all three. Apparently, it mostly just takes being an idiot. But in a land where idiots write books, three heroes (and their slightly crippled, TV watching side-kick) have what it takes to stand up and take pot shots at those books from a safe distance. They attack by asking the hard questions. Blondes: age like wine or peak early? Fish food: is it human flesh? Bars: should they have trampolines for floors? and much more. Today's guest Jason used to have a link where he'd make fun of your friends and post it on YouTube for $5.

The Tim Burton Machine keeps on turning. This week we're joined by famed running blogger Colleen Smith. Episode highlights include: Business casual executions. Did you eat the Queen's Tart? How to tell if your suitor's a douchebag. Lightning Bonus Round! And eating disorders: the true meaning of Alice in Wonderland.

Yeah, they made a movie of it too. This week we're joined by comedian Tim Dufrisne. Episode highlights include: A hydra chewing its cud. Is Pierce Brosnan the worst James Bond of all time? Ezra is smarter than you. Lightning Bonus Round (including the battle of the century: Hades vs Smokey The Bear) Seriously, is Pierce Brosnan terrible or not? I can't tell.

Although we've had some arguments amongst ourselves and with our fans as to whether this is actually terrible, or just run-of-the-mill bad, Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief has definitely earned its place on the show. We take it down with the efficiency of a copyrighted video on YouTube. Episode highlights include Ancient Greek Cosmo presents the quiz "Who's Your Daddy?" Naming the subdivisions in hell! Another Read It And Weep debate! "Is 'The Lightning Thief' good for children?" Alex eats a cookie... hilariously!

The greatest podcast in the history of the world is picking on, that's right, a kids book. Listen to this episode and you will find out: What your learning disability might really mean! What Chris was good at in middle school! What it would be like to play Red Rover with swords!

Carla Zilbersmith's extended interview, featuring: How to get famous Samuel L. Jackson Phallic Objects How to make a parent uncomfortable And a very sexy calendar you can buy here.

The guys need all the help they can get to get through the most ridiculous self-help book ever created. Highlights: We define the word "flyjaculate." We discover that the universe is just a mentally disabled genie. The triumphant return of our insane beliefs correspondent, Stephen. An interview about sex and death with famed comedian Carla Zilbersmith. The Secret talks dirty to you.

In a very touching episode of Read It And Weep, our boys take a look at the weekend's box office hit, Dear John (The Movie). Don't miss Alex admits to crying Brian and Chris are surrounded with teenage girls John gets shot (and it's awesome!) The missile detecting capabilities of autistic kids and Lightning Bonus Round! Featuring comedian Brian Crall of the Sacramento Comedy Spot. This may not be the worst Nicholas Sparks novel adapted into a movie that we've watched, but it's certainly in the top two.

We finish breaking up with Nicholas Sparks's Dear John. Highlights from the review: Prostitutes! Pounding thighs! The safest war ever! And a section of the book so hot it had to be censored!

Nicholas Sparks continues to haunt us like a poltergeist who only makes boring noises. This episode features: Nicholas Sparks thinks you have Asperger's if... The true meaning of oatmeal raisin cookies We all get honorary psych minors And so much more!

Finally, we can witness the horror instead of just listening to it. This episode includes: The Fans Remember Boner! Phone Sex With God! Camels Are Magic! The Return of Lightning Bonus Round! And Much More!

In the second half of Left Behind, Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins prove that no matter how bad something is, it can always get worse. Fortunately for you (and us) Ezra never misses a double entendre. Other notable features: Kim helps us make sense of the anti-christ! Muppets are gullible! Sad abortionists!