Read it and Weep show

Read it and Weep

Summary: Read it and Weep is a good podcast about bad books, movies, and TV. Each week 2.5 comedians and a guest make fun of things like Twilight by Stephanie Meyer, Dear John by Nicholas Sparks, Going Rogue by Sarah Palin, and anything Keanu Reeves has been in.

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  • Artist: Read-Weep.com
  • Copyright: Copyright 2021 Completely Legitimate Productions.

Podcasts:

 Fifty Shades Darker Reviewed - Part 2 of 2 | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 46:54

It turns out, no matter how many shades of grey there are, it's never going to be a colorful story. As 50 Shades of Darker limped across the finish line, EL James added a couple of little plots to justify writing a third book. A skeezy boss blows up Charlie Tango the helicopter and then lurks in the bushes. But does anybody care? It's hard to, when so many pages are dedicated to Christian lurking in Bella, er, Anna's bushes. Besides those few pages of excitement, 50 Darker is split evenly. 25 shades are them having sex and 25 shades are them arguing about stupid shit. It's the most dysfunctional relationship since Ronnie & Sammie in the Jersey Shore. Most importantly, this book has taught us to stick to our guns. If you want us to read the last book, it'll cost you $1,000.

 Fifty Shades Darker Reviewed - Part 2 of 2 | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 46:54

It turns out, no matter how many shades of grey there are, it's never going to be a colorful story. As 50 Shades of Darker limped across the finish line, EL James added a couple of little plots to justify writing a third book. A skeezy boss blows up Charlie Tango the helicopter and then lurks in the bushes. But does anybody care? It's hard to, when so many pages are dedicated to Christian lurking in Bella, er, Anna's bushes. Besides those few pages of excitement, 50 Darker is split evenly. 25 shades are them having sex and 25 shades are them arguing about stupid shit. It's the most dysfunctional relationship since Ronnie & Sammie in the Jersey Shore. Most importantly, this book has taught us to stick to our guns. If you want us to read the last book, it'll cost you $1,000.

 Fifty Shades Darker Reviewed - Part 1 of 2 | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 52:02

We swore we wouldn't read the sequel to 50 Shades of Grey. We swore we wouldn't. Then you guys pushed and pushed and pushed and we finally gave in. And then we swore. A lot. There are only a few things we've read that are worse than Twilight, but the S&M-filled bit of Twilight fan fiction certainly qualifies. In this second installment, Christian and personalityless-girl get back together. They have sex. And they fight. And then they have sex. And then they fight. Those two things happen for 10 hours of audiobook. Some minor plot things happen either while they're having sex or while they're fighting. And then it's over and nobody is better off. We take a few minutes to discuss our survival strategies for things that are this bad (it doesn't help much) and we revisit our love for dinosaurs and things about butts.

 Fifty Shades Darker Reviewed - Part 1 of 2 | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 52:02

We swore we wouldn't read the sequel to 50 Shades of Grey. We swore we wouldn't. Then you guys pushed and pushed and pushed and we finally gave in. And then we swore. A lot. There are only a few things we've read that are worse than Twilight, but the S&M-filled bit of Twilight fan fiction certainly qualifies. In this second installment, Christian and personalityless-girl get back together. They have sex. And they fight. And then they have sex. And then they fight. Those two things happen for 10 hours of audiobook. Some minor plot things happen either while they're having sex or while they're fighting. And then it's over and nobody is better off. We take a few minutes to discuss our survival strategies for things that are this bad (it doesn't help much) and we revisit our love for dinosaurs and things about butts.

 Fast and Furious 6 | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 58:23

There's nothing more exhilarating than driving a fast car. Well, maybe there is. Making the same movie 6 times and getting paid each time is just as good. Meet Dom. He's the leader of a gang of criminals who drive cars quickly and with angst. They can stop any adversary, so long as they battle on the open road and driving quickly and with angst is rewarded. As luck would have it, an international terrorist has stolen a MacGuffin and plans on driving it around at highway speeds. Sounds like a job for the quick and angsty gang! The two groups drive cars at or away from each other for 2 hours, Vin Diesel and The Rock act with their deltoids, and everybody is happy in the end. Join us again next year for the same movie with a number 7 in the title.

 Fast and Furious 6 | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 58:23

There's nothing more exhilarating than driving a fast car. Well, maybe there is. Making the same movie 6 times and getting paid each time is just as good. Meet Dom. He's the leader of a gang of criminals who drive cars quickly and with angst. They can stop any adversary, so long as they battle on the open road and driving quickly and with angst is rewarded. As luck would have it, an international terrorist has stolen a MacGuffin and plans on driving it around at highway speeds. Sounds like a job for the quick and angsty gang! The two groups drive cars at or away from each other for 2 hours, Vin Diesel and The Rock act with their deltoids, and everybody is happy in the end. Join us again next year for the same movie with a number 7 in the title.

 Shark Attack 3: Megalodon Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 56:13

Shark Attack 3: Megalodon has all the trappings of a wonderfully bad movie. It's shot on location in a weird place with lots of local actors, all the voices are dubbed shoddily, the main actress is a stripper, and it relies heavily on stock footage of sharks. It's pretty hard to go wrong with a shark movie, and this one, try as it might, is no exception. When two attractive, single life guards find a suspiciously big shark tooth, they have only choice: talk to a smoking hot expert on dinosaur sharks. When the original owner of that shark tooth (a huge shark) gets hungry and starts eating people as they make out topless on the beach, they only have one choice: chase him down with guns and then have sex to let off steam. These forced actions all add up to a deliciously sharky movie that's right up our alley. Oh, and it has the greatest line in movie history.

 Shark Attack 3: Megalodon Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 56:13

Shark Attack 3: Megalodon has all the trappings of a wonderfully bad movie. It's shot on location in a weird place with lots of local actors, all the voices are dubbed shoddily, the main actress is a stripper, and it relies heavily on stock footage of sharks. It's pretty hard to go wrong with a shark movie, and this one, try as it might, is no exception. When two attractive, single life guards find a suspiciously big shark tooth, they have only choice: talk to a smoking hot expert on dinosaur sharks. When the original owner of that shark tooth (a huge shark) gets hungry and starts eating people as they make out topless on the beach, they only have one choice: chase him down with guns and then have sex to let off steam. These forced actions all add up to a deliciously sharky movie that's right up our alley. Oh, and it has the greatest line in movie history.

 LOST | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 62:36

Lost. The title tells you everything. The characters are lost. You are lost. And all hope of a satisfying ending, that's super lost. But there's also a certain addicting nature to it. Who's gonna die next? What other group of people is going to suddenly appear on the island? What happens if they don't type the code? Will they or won't they (eat the fat one)? Once you've seen lost, it also changes the way you look at every situation. From now on when you get on an airplane, you'll start looking around wondering, "If we crashed, who would be able to survive an incomprehensible plot about magic and polar bears?" ... LOST

 LOST | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 62:36

Lost. The title tells you everything. The characters are lost. You are lost. And all hope of a satisfying ending, that's super lost. But there's also a certain addicting nature to it. Who's gonna die next? What other group of people is going to suddenly appear on the island? What happens if they don't type the code? Will they or won't they (eat the fat one)? Once you've seen lost, it also changes the way you look at every situation. From now on when you get on an airplane, you'll start looking around wondering, "If we crashed, who would be able to survive an incomprehensible plot about magic and polar bears?" ... LOST

 Punchline Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 56:08

There is nothing more impressive than a stand-up comic: standing up there alone, just a person with a microphone and some jokes. Or in the case of Punchline, a person with a microphone, a nun costume, a locker downstairs, and some jokes(?). Punchline follows Tom Hanks as a great comic (who gets lots of laughs that seem undeserved) and Sally Field as a bad comic (no laughs well deserved). As he slowly goes crazy because he's not famous enough he teaches her how to actually be funny and in the end everybody's happy. Except Polish people. Professional touring stand-up comedian Gabe Rutledge joins us to talk about the parts of the movie that seem least believable (a good show in a hospital) and most believable (file not found). And most importantly why loves this movie (something about a juggler).

 Punchline Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 56:08

There is nothing more impressive than a stand-up comic: standing up there alone, just a person with a microphone and some jokes. Or in the case of Punchline, a person with a microphone, a nun costume, a locker downstairs, and some jokes(?). Punchline follows Tom Hanks as a great comic (who gets lots of laughs that seem undeserved) and Sally Field as a bad comic (no laughs well deserved). As he slowly goes crazy because he's not famous enough he teaches her how to actually be funny and in the end everybody's happy. Except Polish people. Professional touring stand-up comedian Gabe Rutledge joins us to talk about the parts of the movie that seem least believable (a good show in a hospital) and most believable (file not found). And most importantly why loves this movie (something about a juggler).

 A Goofy Movie Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 55:37

It's impossible to tell if stuff from your childhood is objectively good, so I'm not going to try with this. But subjectively, A Goofy Movie is a whole lot of fun, despite it's weird dog-hybrid world of race relations. Maxamillion Goof is the son of Goofy Goof of Disney fame. Despite this rediculous heritage, Max is cool and hip and has the baggy pants to prove it. But will a whopping lie told to impressive a new girlfriend tear his family apart? More importantly, will him and his dad sing stupid songs during a road trip to see doggy Michael Jackson? Oh yes they will. For David's guilty pleasure, we also watched some 80s R&B videos. Here's a creepy picture of Goofy sans gloves that will flip your world upside down.

 A Goofy Movie Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 55:37

It's impossible to tell if stuff from your childhood is objectively good, so I'm not going to try with this. But subjectively, A Goofy Movie is a whole lot of fun, despite it's weird dog-hybrid world of race relations. Maxamillion Goof is the son of Goofy Goof of Disney fame. Despite this rediculous heritage, Max is cool and hip and has the baggy pants to prove it. But will a whopping lie told to impressive a new girlfriend tear his family apart? More importantly, will him and his dad sing stupid songs during a road trip to see doggy Michael Jackson? Oh yes they will. For David's guilty pleasure, we also watched some 80s R&B videos. Here's a creepy picture of Goofy sans gloves that will flip your world upside down.

 The Mystery Method Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 47:16

Attention nerds. Do you want to sleep with lots of women? All you have to do is dress like a dork, tell canned jokes, and lie about everything in your life. In these three easy steps, The Mystery Method will get you laid. Remember The Game? Not the delightful Michael Douglas movie. No, not the game where if you think about it you lose. Not the rapper or the CW series or the BET show. The other The Game. The book about pickup artists scamming women at bars into sleeping with them. This is the book by the magician from that book. He calls himself Mystery and he is a terrible person. The key to the Mystery Method is [1] "neg" women (insult them to their face) [2] "peacock" (dress badly) [3] Use a TON of jargon And most importantly, [4] Don't let them ever find out you're following the Mystery Method. If that sounds like something you'd be interested in, check out this book. But it probably doesn't because if you're listening to our podcast, you're not that guy. Alex mentioned his recent podcast appearance on Pati-oh Pati-no where he talked about this book and how he has the worst porn name.

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