Read it and Weep show

Read it and Weep

Summary: Read it and Weep is a good podcast about bad books, movies, and TV. Each week 2.5 comedians and a guest make fun of things like Twilight by Stephanie Meyer, Dear John by Nicholas Sparks, Going Rogue by Sarah Palin, and anything Keanu Reeves has been in.

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  • Artist: Read-Weep.com
  • Copyright: Copyright 2021 Completely Legitimate Productions.

Podcasts:

 Showgirls Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 45:08

You know how they say if you do something you love as a job it stops being fun? They're right. I watched two hours of boobs for this podcast and by the end, I was completely bored. Showgirls is the weirdest assignment we've ever gotten. Apparently our sponsor was going to sponsor Fifty Shades Darker but we did it on our own so she chose this. Really? You could have assigned us 20 hours of torture or 2 hours of boobs? How is this a difficult choice? That's not to say this was an easy watch. Sure, there were lots of boobs, but the movie was a slog. Especially awful was the COMPLETELY UNRELATED TO THE PLOT gang rape scene near the end. If you're watching along at home, definitely stop 20 minutes short of the end. You haven't missed anything. And feel free to sponsor more movies that are NC-17 for nudity. That would be fine.

 Inferno Reviewed Part 2 of 2 | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 43:09

The mystery was solved before the book started, the bad guys turn out not to be good, and the plan to destroy the world happens and it's probably for the best. Well, it's not entertaining but at least it's different. The second half of Inferno contains the usual Dan Brown twist. Everything you thought was wrong and nothing is as it seemed. Except in this case, nothing was as INTERESTING as it seemed. The ending is the most incredible Nerf. None of the danger was real, nobody was trying to kill anybody, and nobody actually died. Surprise, it was all a ruse! And in the most startling twist, Langdon solves the mystery and... it's too late. The evil genius won. And the world is better off because of it. What the shit? I mean, it's not all jolly and good. 1/3 of the earth's population is sterile. But really, the only way to react is "huh." So we do. A bunch of times in a row. Enjoy the episode!

 Inferno Reviewed Part 2 of 2 | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 43:09

The mystery was solved before the book started, the bad guys turn out not to be good, and the plan to destroy the world happens and it's probably for the best. Well, it's not entertaining but at least it's different. The second half of Inferno contains the usual Dan Brown twist. Everything you thought was wrong and nothing is as it seemed. Except in this case, nothing was as INTERESTING as it seemed. The ending is the most incredible Nerf. None of the danger was real, nobody was trying to kill anybody, and nobody actually died. Surprise, it was all a ruse! And in the most startling twist, Langdon solves the mystery and... it's too late. The evil genius won. And the world is better off because of it. What the shit? I mean, it's not all jolly and good. 1/3 of the earth's population is sterile. But really, the only way to react is "huh." So we do. A bunch of times in a row. Enjoy the episode!

 Inferno Reviewed Part 1 of 2 | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 46:48

Robert Langdon, famous professor of pedantry and mystery solving, is back with another amazing mystery symbol art treasure mystery hunt book. Will he solve the puzzle in time or will he stop, explain something, and then solve the puzzle in time? But in a totally new and original way to start a book, our hero has already solved the mystery but then he had amnesia and so now needs to solve the mystery again. As he battles against an all-powerful, all-knowing organization to solve the mystery he has to decode symbols, cite obscure books, talk about Dante A LOT. Will he win? Of course he'll win! Just make sure you don't invite him to a party because he is annoying as all hell.

 Inferno Reviewed Part 1 of 2 | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 46:48

Robert Langdon, famous professor of pedantry and mystery solving, is back with another amazing mystery symbol art treasure mystery hunt book. Will he solve the puzzle in time or will he stop, explain something, and then solve the puzzle in time? But in a totally new and original way to start a book, our hero has already solved the mystery but then he had amnesia and so now needs to solve the mystery again. As he battles against an all-powerful, all-knowing organization to solve the mystery he has to decode symbols, cite obscure books, talk about Dante A LOT. Will he win? Of course he'll win! Just make sure you don't invite him to a party because he is annoying as all hell.

 Fifty Shades Darker Reviewed - Part 2 of 2 | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 46:54

It turns out, no matter how many shades of grey there are, it's never going to be a colorful story. As 50 Shades of Darker limped across the finish line, EL James added a couple of little plots to justify writing a third book. A skeezy boss blows up Charlie Tango the helicopter and then lurks in the bushes. But does anybody care? It's hard to, when so many pages are dedicated to Christian lurking in Bella, er, Anna's bushes. Besides those few pages of excitement, 50 Darker is split evenly. 25 shades are them having sex and 25 shades are them arguing about stupid shit. It's the most dysfunctional relationship since Ronnie & Sammie in the Jersey Shore. Most importantly, this book has taught us to stick to our guns. If you want us to read the last book, it'll cost you $1,000.

 Fifty Shades Darker Reviewed - Part 2 of 2 | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 46:54

It turns out, no matter how many shades of grey there are, it's never going to be a colorful story. As 50 Shades of Darker limped across the finish line, EL James added a couple of little plots to justify writing a third book. A skeezy boss blows up Charlie Tango the helicopter and then lurks in the bushes. But does anybody care? It's hard to, when so many pages are dedicated to Christian lurking in Bella, er, Anna's bushes. Besides those few pages of excitement, 50 Darker is split evenly. 25 shades are them having sex and 25 shades are them arguing about stupid shit. It's the most dysfunctional relationship since Ronnie & Sammie in the Jersey Shore. Most importantly, this book has taught us to stick to our guns. If you want us to read the last book, it'll cost you $1,000.

 Fifty Shades Darker Reviewed - Part 1 of 2 | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 52:02

We swore we wouldn't read the sequel to 50 Shades of Grey. We swore we wouldn't. Then you guys pushed and pushed and pushed and we finally gave in. And then we swore. A lot. There are only a few things we've read that are worse than Twilight, but the S&M-filled bit of Twilight fan fiction certainly qualifies. In this second installment, Christian and personalityless-girl get back together. They have sex. And they fight. And then they have sex. And then they fight. Those two things happen for 10 hours of audiobook. Some minor plot things happen either while they're having sex or while they're fighting. And then it's over and nobody is better off. We take a few minutes to discuss our survival strategies for things that are this bad (it doesn't help much) and we revisit our love for dinosaurs and things about butts.

 Fifty Shades Darker Reviewed - Part 1 of 2 | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 52:02

We swore we wouldn't read the sequel to 50 Shades of Grey. We swore we wouldn't. Then you guys pushed and pushed and pushed and we finally gave in. And then we swore. A lot. There are only a few things we've read that are worse than Twilight, but the S&M-filled bit of Twilight fan fiction certainly qualifies. In this second installment, Christian and personalityless-girl get back together. They have sex. And they fight. And then they have sex. And then they fight. Those two things happen for 10 hours of audiobook. Some minor plot things happen either while they're having sex or while they're fighting. And then it's over and nobody is better off. We take a few minutes to discuss our survival strategies for things that are this bad (it doesn't help much) and we revisit our love for dinosaurs and things about butts.

 Fast and Furious 6 | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 58:23

There's nothing more exhilarating than driving a fast car. Well, maybe there is. Making the same movie 6 times and getting paid each time is just as good. Meet Dom. He's the leader of a gang of criminals who drive cars quickly and with angst. They can stop any adversary, so long as they battle on the open road and driving quickly and with angst is rewarded. As luck would have it, an international terrorist has stolen a MacGuffin and plans on driving it around at highway speeds. Sounds like a job for the quick and angsty gang! The two groups drive cars at or away from each other for 2 hours, Vin Diesel and The Rock act with their deltoids, and everybody is happy in the end. Join us again next year for the same movie with a number 7 in the title.

 Fast and Furious 6 | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 58:23

There's nothing more exhilarating than driving a fast car. Well, maybe there is. Making the same movie 6 times and getting paid each time is just as good. Meet Dom. He's the leader of a gang of criminals who drive cars quickly and with angst. They can stop any adversary, so long as they battle on the open road and driving quickly and with angst is rewarded. As luck would have it, an international terrorist has stolen a MacGuffin and plans on driving it around at highway speeds. Sounds like a job for the quick and angsty gang! The two groups drive cars at or away from each other for 2 hours, Vin Diesel and The Rock act with their deltoids, and everybody is happy in the end. Join us again next year for the same movie with a number 7 in the title.

 Shark Attack 3: Megalodon Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 56:13

Shark Attack 3: Megalodon has all the trappings of a wonderfully bad movie. It's shot on location in a weird place with lots of local actors, all the voices are dubbed shoddily, the main actress is a stripper, and it relies heavily on stock footage of sharks. It's pretty hard to go wrong with a shark movie, and this one, try as it might, is no exception. When two attractive, single life guards find a suspiciously big shark tooth, they have only choice: talk to a smoking hot expert on dinosaur sharks. When the original owner of that shark tooth (a huge shark) gets hungry and starts eating people as they make out topless on the beach, they only have one choice: chase him down with guns and then have sex to let off steam. These forced actions all add up to a deliciously sharky movie that's right up our alley. Oh, and it has the greatest line in movie history.

 Shark Attack 3: Megalodon Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 56:13

Shark Attack 3: Megalodon has all the trappings of a wonderfully bad movie. It's shot on location in a weird place with lots of local actors, all the voices are dubbed shoddily, the main actress is a stripper, and it relies heavily on stock footage of sharks. It's pretty hard to go wrong with a shark movie, and this one, try as it might, is no exception. When two attractive, single life guards find a suspiciously big shark tooth, they have only choice: talk to a smoking hot expert on dinosaur sharks. When the original owner of that shark tooth (a huge shark) gets hungry and starts eating people as they make out topless on the beach, they only have one choice: chase him down with guns and then have sex to let off steam. These forced actions all add up to a deliciously sharky movie that's right up our alley. Oh, and it has the greatest line in movie history.

 LOST | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 62:36

Lost. The title tells you everything. The characters are lost. You are lost. And all hope of a satisfying ending, that's super lost. But there's also a certain addicting nature to it. Who's gonna die next? What other group of people is going to suddenly appear on the island? What happens if they don't type the code? Will they or won't they (eat the fat one)? Once you've seen lost, it also changes the way you look at every situation. From now on when you get on an airplane, you'll start looking around wondering, "If we crashed, who would be able to survive an incomprehensible plot about magic and polar bears?" ... LOST

 LOST | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 62:36

Lost. The title tells you everything. The characters are lost. You are lost. And all hope of a satisfying ending, that's super lost. But there's also a certain addicting nature to it. Who's gonna die next? What other group of people is going to suddenly appear on the island? What happens if they don't type the code? Will they or won't they (eat the fat one)? Once you've seen lost, it also changes the way you look at every situation. From now on when you get on an airplane, you'll start looking around wondering, "If we crashed, who would be able to survive an incomprehensible plot about magic and polar bears?" ... LOST

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