Read it and Weep show

Read it and Weep

Summary: Read it and Weep is a good podcast about bad books, movies, and TV. Each week 2.5 comedians and a guest make fun of things like Twilight by Stephanie Meyer, Dear John by Nicholas Sparks, Going Rogue by Sarah Palin, and anything Keanu Reeves has been in.

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  • Artist: Read-Weep.com
  • Copyright: Copyright 2021 Completely Legitimate Productions.

Podcasts:

 Ender's Game Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 44:35

Next time you're playing a space training simulator game, maybe don't genocide the aliens too well. You may have to feel bad about that later.That's what happens to Ender, anyway. The 6 to 12-year-old at the heart of Ender's Game. He's been selected to go to space camp and play laser tag because some giant ants attacked earth a while back and for reasons, only a kid can lead a space army. But when Ender learns along the way is... sometimes things matter? I'm not sure what he learned, the movie is so compressed.Even though we liked the Ender's Game book, we've since been forced to confront the fact that the author is a total dick bag. Fortunately, he doesn't make any money from the film, and the other thing we had a huge problem with--the redicilous message-board coup that Ender's brother stages--is taken out for pacing reasons. All in all, not a bad adaptation.

 Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 57:45

A long time ago in director's head that is far far away from where it should be, George Lucas permanently marred his masterwork by adding the first of three unbelievably awful movies to the beginning of it. It was a sad, sad day.Episode 1 starts with a trade federation dispute (exciting!). Two jedis are sent to sit in a conference room because apparently they are a cheap resource. Some ridiculous antics later we're introduced to the two most annoying characters in movie history: Jar Jar Binks and Anakin Skywalker. Although Jar Jar is credited with ruining the franchise, Anakin is at least as annoying and everything else in the movie sucks too.Blah blah blah queen votes for no confidence, jedis stop the droid invasion, WHOA A DOUBLE SIDED LIGHTSABER, and then something about the kid being a jedi because of a genetic condition. This movie is so bad my brain is melting.PODCRAWL 2013!This is not a trilogy we could suffer alone, so we enlisted the help of our 2nd and 3rd favorite bad-movie podcasts (behind ourselves). Finish the podcrawl:Episode II as reviewed by Flophouse (featuring RiaW guest Dan McCoy).Week of November 18: Episode III as reviewed by Proudly Resents (featuring RiaW guest Adam Spiegleman)

 Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 57:45

A long time ago in director's head that is far far away from where it should be, George Lucas permanently marred his masterwork by adding the first of three unbelievably awful movies to the beginning of it. It was a sad, sad day.Episode 1 starts with a trade federation dispute (exciting!). Two jedis are sent to sit in a conference room because apparently they are a cheap resource. Some ridiculous antics later we're introduced to the two most annoying characters in movie history: Jar Jar Binks and Anakin Skywalker. Although Jar Jar is credited with ruining the franchise, Anakin is at least as annoying and everything else in the movie sucks too.Blah blah blah queen votes for no confidence, jedis stop the droid invasion, WHOA A DOUBLE SIDED LIGHTSABER, and then something about the kid being a jedi because of a genetic condition. This movie is so bad my brain is melting.PODCRAWL 2013!This is not a trilogy we could suffer alone, so we enlisted the help of our 2nd and 3rd favorite bad-movie podcasts (behind ourselves). Finish the podcrawl:Episode II as reviewed by Flophouse (featuring RiaW guest Dan McCoy).Week of November 18: Episode III as reviewed by Proudly Resents (featuring RiaW guest Adam Spiegleman)

 Hocus Pocus Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 49:18

Happy Halloween, everybody. What is that? Trick or treat? How about a treat, our favorite Halloween-themed Disney movie from the early 90s starring Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, and a talking cat!Hocus Pocus is the 1993 feature film (promoted from straight-to-Disney-channel at the last minute) that defined Halloween for many of our childhoods. It's basically a witchy take on the Three Stooges and no effort whatsover is taken to have a logical plot.The witches could win at any moment by simply USING YOUR SUPER POWER, IDIOTS! But we're lucky they didn't because instead they created a creepy 300-year-old cat with a human brain. Oh the possibilities (we go into great detail).It would take a special kind of sour puss to hate this movie, so we don't bother.

 Hocus Pocus Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 49:18

Happy Halloween, everybody. What is that? Trick or treat? How about a treat, our favorite Halloween-themed Disney movie from the early 90s starring Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, and a talking cat!Hocus Pocus is the 1993 feature film (promoted from straight-to-Disney-channel at the last minute) that defined Halloween for many of our childhoods. It's basically a witchy take on the Three Stooges and no effort whatsover is taken to have a logical plot.The witches could win at any moment by simply USING YOUR SUPER POWER, IDIOTS! But we're lucky they didn't because instead they created a creepy 300-year-old cat with a human brain. Oh the possibilities (we go into great detail).It would take a special kind of sour puss to hate this movie, so we don't bother.

 The Bone Season Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 53:38

Just when you thought it was safe to assume a book called Bone Season would be about sex, Samantha Shannon shows up and disappoints you.Not that The Bone Season is bad as such, it's just really not what you'd expect from the title alone. And if you've read any young adult fantasy recently, it's exactly what you'd expect. Girl, magic powers, hot but emotionally distant man, clumsy for no reason, extremely complicated future. It's all of those, but surprisingly readable.The first book in what will surely be a 1,000 book series, follows Paige, a "dream walker" (clairvoyant who can pass out and tickle your subconscious at the same time) as she gets taken to clairvoyant prison. Her captor is ghost/angel/zombie who feeds on her blood but generally treats her well. His fiance is a jerk and wants to murder Paige. Eventually she sortof escapes but simultaneously creates 200 plots to be solved later.If you're in the mood for not very much boning, but you love the idea of a tarot card reader in battle, then you should read The Bone Season.

 The Bone Season Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 53:38

Just when you thought it was safe to assume a book called Bone Season would be about sex, Samantha Shannon shows up and disappoints you.Not that The Bone Season is bad as such, it's just really not what you'd expect from the title alone. And if you've read any young adult fantasy recently, it's exactly what you'd expect. Girl, magic powers, hot but emotionally distant man, clumsy for no reason, extremely complicated future. It's all of those, but surprisingly readable.The first book in what will surely be a 1,000 book series, follows Paige, a "dream walker" (clairvoyant who can pass out and tickle your subconscious at the same time) as she gets taken to clairvoyant prison. Her captor is ghost/angel/zombie who feeds on her blood but generally treats her well. His fiance is a jerk and wants to murder Paige. Eventually she sortof escapes but simultaneously creates 200 plots to be solved later.If you're in the mood for not very much boning, but you love the idea of a tarot card reader in battle, then you should read The Bone Season.

 Dads, The Crazy Ones, and The Michael J. Fox Show Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 47:25

Welcome to sitcom pilot season! You might want to put on a coat. It's raining shit.First up it's Dads from two Family Guy writers. It stars Seth Green, Giovanni Ribisieaeioeae and a bunch of racist jokes. It's so bad, you guys. All I can say is ugh.The Michael J. Fox Show (in comparison) is quite awesome. It's not super funny, but Fox is still a charming dude.Robin Williams is also a tad charming in The Crazy Ones but he's also desperate and sad seeming. Every one of these shows has people we've liked in other places, but these are not their best vehicles. I know retiring on top is hard, but the alternative is being in Dads.

 Dads, The Crazy Ones, and The Michael J. Fox Show Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 47:25

Welcome to sitcom pilot season! You might want to put on a coat. It's raining shit.First up it's Dads from two Family Guy writers. It stars Seth Green, Giovanni Ribisieaeioeae and a bunch of racist jokes. It's so bad, you guys. All I can say is ugh.The Michael J. Fox Show (in comparison) is quite awesome. It's not super funny, but Fox is still a charming dude.Robin Williams is also a tad charming in The Crazy Ones but he's also desperate and sad seeming. Every one of these shows has people we've liked in other places, but these are not their best vehicles. I know retiring on top is hard, but the alternative is being in Dads.

 Divergent Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 53:16

If you liked Hunger Games but thought it needed more rules, you're going to love Divergent! The debut novel from Veronica Roth, Divergent imagines a future after a great war. The only way to restore peace is to divide humanity up into 5 Death Frats named after SAT words. People join them by having only one personality trait: brave people join Dauntless where they jump off trains and punch each other. Smart people join Erudite where they wear glasses. Amish people join Abnegation where they don't eat hamburgers. And the other two are basically Hufflepuff. In the EXTREMELY RARE situation where somebody has two personality traits (I have glasses and don't eat hamburgers!) they are "divergent" (a Latin word meaning "too cool for school"). Eventually the smart people use the brave people to kill the Amish people and only a teenage girl with two different interests can save them all. With her boyfriend. Expect a million more books about distopian futures where kids kill each other, because Hunger Games sold faster than a grey tunic in an Abnigation camp.

 Divergent Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 53:16

If you liked Hunger Games but thought it needed more rules, you're going to love Divergent! The debut novel from Veronica Roth, Divergent imagines a future after a great war. The only way to restore peace is to divide humanity up into 5 Death Frats named after SAT words. People join them by having only one personality trait: brave people join Dauntless where they jump off trains and punch each other. Smart people join Erudite where they wear glasses. Amish people join Abnegation where they don't eat hamburgers. And the other two are basically Hufflepuff. In the EXTREMELY RARE situation where somebody has two personality traits (I have glasses and don't eat hamburgers!) they are "divergent" (a Latin word meaning "too cool for school"). Eventually the smart people use the brave people to kill the Amish people and only a teenage girl with two different interests can save them all. With her boyfriend. Expect a million more books about distopian futures where kids kill each other, because Hunger Games sold faster than a grey tunic in an Abnigation camp.

 The Towering Inferno and The Poseidon Adventure Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 44:01

Happy birthday, Geri! I hope you like your 1970s disaster movies... roasted! The Towering Inferno is a star-studded movie adventure featuring Steve McQueen (famous for Bullitt and The Great Escape) and Paul Newman (famous for salad dressing), not to mention Fred Astaire (famous for dancing) and OJ Simpson (famous for... sticking to his story?). The plot is simple: put all these people in a very tall building and light it on fire. The plot of The Poseidon Adventure is similar. Lots of stars, tall boat, flip it over and sink it. In both movies some people make it out alive while others die in exciting ways (on fire falling out of a building, on fire falling into water, etc.). There's a lot of excitement, a lot of disasters, and a lot of comedy (fat lady climbing a Christmas tree, what!). If you've got something to celebrate and a favorite campy genre, sponsor an episode!

 The Towering Inferno and The Poseidon Adventure Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 44:01

Happy birthday, Geri! I hope you like your 1970s disaster movies... roasted! The Towering Inferno is a star-studded movie adventure featuring Steve McQueen (famous for Bullitt and The Great Escape) and Paul Newman (famous for salad dressing), not to mention Fred Astaire (famous for dancing) and OJ Simpson (famous for... sticking to his story?). The plot is simple: put all these people in a very tall building and light it on fire. The plot of The Poseidon Adventure is similar. Lots of stars, tall boat, flip it over and sink it. In both movies some people make it out alive while others die in exciting ways (on fire falling out of a building, on fire falling into water, etc.). There's a lot of excitement, a lot of disasters, and a lot of comedy (fat lady climbing a Christmas tree, what!). If you've got something to celebrate and a favorite campy genre, sponsor an episode!

 The Power of One Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 53:22

It's important for any book to have a moral, but this week's book has a few. [1] A little bullying goes a long way. [2] Even in Africa, being white is pretty good. and [3] Always go with strange men, they only want to help you become a genius. The Power of One explores these ideas set over the backdrop of apartheid South Africa. But while apartheid may sound like bummertown, don't worry! It almost never comes up! Sure, the main character fixes racism everywhere through his great boxing and pet chicken, but other than that, it's not even an issue. You know why? Because being white is awesome. That's what Bryce Courtenay really wants you to know. PK, a young English boy with a tiny penis (it's important) gets picked on as a kid and that turns him into an incredible human being, a genius, and the best boxer in the world. He tries his hand at mining, then goes back to being great at everything! He even signs a boys arm. How nice! Thanks to Winston for sponsoring this episode. I hope it was everything you ever dreamed of.

 The Power of One Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 53:22

It's important for any book to have a moral, but this week's book has a few. [1] A little bullying goes a long way. [2] Even in Africa, being white is pretty good. and [3] Always go with strange men, they only want to help you become a genius. The Power of One explores these ideas set over the backdrop of apartheid South Africa. But while apartheid may sound like bummertown, don't worry! It almost never comes up! Sure, the main character fixes racism everywhere through his great boxing and pet chicken, but other than that, it's not even an issue. You know why? Because being white is awesome. That's what Bryce Courtenay really wants you to know. PK, a young English boy with a tiny penis (it's important) gets picked on as a kid and that turns him into an incredible human being, a genius, and the best boxer in the world. He tries his hand at mining, then goes back to being great at everything! He even signs a boys arm. How nice! Thanks to Winston for sponsoring this episode. I hope it was everything you ever dreamed of.

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