Read it and Weep show

Read it and Weep

Summary: Read it and Weep is a good podcast about bad books, movies, and TV. Each week 2.5 comedians and a guest make fun of things like Twilight by Stephanie Meyer, Dear John by Nicholas Sparks, Going Rogue by Sarah Palin, and anything Keanu Reeves has been in.

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  • Artist: Read-Weep.com
  • Copyright: Copyright 2021 Completely Legitimate Productions.

Podcasts:

 Bloodsport Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 52:15

Jean-Claude Van Damme can't really act, it's true. But what he can do is fan kick and do splits over the radiator and he does both to great effect in Bloodsport.Bloodsport is the story of an American who learns martial arts as punishment for breaking into a house as a child. He goes AWOL from the military to fight in an underground Chinese fight club along with his new BFF Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds. And then he kicks lots and lots of faces. And then it's over. Oh, and Forrest Whitaker plays a bumbling cop which is awesome.It's like watching a cheesy video game, and I mean that in the nicest way possible.Thanks to Christian for sponsoring it. Check out his podcast with Amanda Leinbaugh about the show Survivor.

 Shakespeare Star Wars | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 52:37

Two great tastes that taste great together is what I would say about William Shakespeare's Star Wars if it was a peanut butter cup. But it's not. It's two good tastes that are kinda funny together but not for more than five minutes.Instead, Ian Doescher takes this funny idea and stretches it out further than a dollar can be stretched on read-weep.com/amazon (or the logic of this joke can be stretched for us to make buck). He retells THE ENTIRETY of A New Hope in iambic pentameter with lots of hidden references along the way to great works from the Bard. It's fine. It really is. It's just too much.We send this episode (and our best wishes for a speedy recovery) to our friends Zach and Ashley Adair who were struck by a car a couple months back. If you'd like to donate to their medical bills, you can here: www.gofundme.com/adairsrecovery Thanks! Get well you guys!

 Shakespeare Star Wars | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 52:37

Two great tastes that taste great together is what I would say about William Shakespeare's Star Wars if it was a peanut butter cup. But it's not. It's two good tastes that are kinda funny together but not for more than five minutes.Instead, Ian Doescher takes this funny idea and stretches it out further than a dollar can be stretched on read-weep.com/amazon (or the logic of this joke can be stretched for us to make buck). He retells THE ENTIRETY of A New Hope in iambic pentameter with lots of hidden references along the way to great works from the Bard. It's fine. It really is. It's just too much.We send this episode (and our best wishes for a speedy recovery) to our friends Zach and Ashley Adair who were struck by a car a couple months back. If you'd like to donate to their medical bills, you can here: www.gofundme.com/adairsrecovery Thanks! Get well you guys!

 Tango and Cash Review | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 52:27

There are only two good cops in L.A., and they're both big douchy guys with cool names and they're stopping all the crime single handedly. Er, um, double handedly. That's right, they're Tango and Cash.The two eponymous police officers are doing great until a drug lord decides to take them off the street and out of the history books. He frames them for murder and then tries to have them murdered in prison. It would work, except they're Tango and Cash and electricity for some reason doesn't hurt them.The movie is basically two puffy Keanu Reeves playing buddy cops and breaking out of the worst-run jail of all time. And it's kinda fun.

 Tango and Cash Review | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 52:27

There are only two good cops in L.A., and they're both big douchy guys with cool names and they're stopping all the crime single handedly. Er, um, double handedly. That's right, they're Tango and Cash.The two eponymous police officers are doing great until a drug lord decides to take them off the street and out of the history books. He frames them for murder and then tries to have them murdered in prison. It would work, except they're Tango and Cash and electricity for some reason doesn't hurt them.The movie is basically two puffy Keanu Reeves playing buddy cops and breaking out of the worst-run jail of all time. And it's kinda fun.

 Modelland Review | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 74:47

We finally slayed our white whale! Or caught up with it and cried. Whatever. We finally read Modelland by Tyra Banks. It happened. And what a happening it was. Modelland is a model's fever dream, a crazy word-salad about a magical place where modeling is the only important thing and everything is spelled stupidly. The message is about how ugly people are beautiful too, which is pretty condescending thing for a super model to write. Also NOTHING MAKES SENSE!Tanya joins us because she works with models all the time and she gives us some great background about New York Fashion Week. Thanks to our Canadian sponsors and sorry it took so long.PS: sorry about Alex's audio. He's dumb and pressed a wrong button on his recorder. NEVER AGAIN!

 Modelland Review | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 74:47

We finally slayed our white whale! Or caught up with it and cried. Whatever. We finally read Modelland by Tyra Banks. It happened. And what a happening it was. Modelland is a model's fever dream, a crazy word-salad about a magical place where modeling is the only important thing and everything is spelled stupidly. The message is about how ugly people are beautiful too, which is pretty condescending thing for a super model to write. Also NOTHING MAKES SENSE!Tanya joins us because she works with models all the time and she gives us some great background about New York Fashion Week. Thanks to our Canadian sponsors and sorry it took so long.PS: sorry about Alex's audio. He's dumb and pressed a wrong button on his recorder. NEVER AGAIN!

 Atlantis Found Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 56:10

We've spent a lot of time reading genre fiction aimed at young women, but this is our first dive into older man crap. Atlantis Found by Clive Cussler is just as disturbing as Twilight but for COMPLETELY different reasons.Dirk Pitt stars in the 15th book about his adventures fighting evil as a kick-ass marine biologist with moderate to high levels of chauvinism. In this book, he has to stop Super Nazis from blowing up the South Pole and creating a new world order from a giant cruise ship. It's pretty much as silly as it sounds.But it's also lots of fun. Especially for Alex, who loves Antarctica, mining, marine biology, and planes that take off vertically. The rest of the team tries to talk him out of liking the book.

 Atlantis Found Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 56:10

We've spent a lot of time reading genre fiction aimed at young women, but this is our first dive into older man crap. Atlantis Found by Clive Cussler is just as disturbing as Twilight but for COMPLETELY different reasons.Dirk Pitt stars in the 15th book about his adventures fighting evil as a kick-ass marine biologist with moderate to high levels of chauvinism. In this book, he has to stop Super Nazis from blowing up the South Pole and creating a new world order from a giant cruise ship. It's pretty much as silly as it sounds.But it's also lots of fun. Especially for Alex, who loves Antarctica, mining, marine biology, and planes that take off vertically. The rest of the team tries to talk him out of liking the book.

 Face/Off Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 66:21

A dumb action movie has to be just right to be enjoyable. Face/Off is transcendentally fun in so many ways, it makes one want to watch more of them chasing that same thrill. It's a perfect rose that's been waiting for us to pluck it.Nic Cage and John Travolta star as terrorist/cop who switch faces because... it doesn't really matter. But they do. And it's awesome. There's really nothing else to tell. Faces come off, awesome happens, the end. And a boat ejaculates another boat out of its nose.We're joined by emmy winner Dan McCoy of the Flop House Podcast to talk about how we'd improbably survive in this movie. Thanks to Matt for sponsoring, you've successfully bought yourself some karma.

 Face/Off Reviewed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 66:21

A dumb action movie has to be just right to be enjoyable. Face/Off is transcendentally fun in so many ways, it makes one want to watch more of them chasing that same thrill. It's a perfect rose that's been waiting for us to pluck it.Nic Cage and John Travolta star as terrorist/cop who switch faces because... it doesn't really matter. But they do. And it's awesome. There's really nothing else to tell. Faces come off, awesome happens, the end. And a boat ejaculates another boat out of its nose.We're joined by emmy winner Dan McCoy of the Flop House Podcast to talk about how we'd improbably survive in this movie. Thanks to Matt for sponsoring, you've successfully bought yourself some karma.

 Cutthroat Island | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 56:16

A bad pirate movie is like a bad pizza: it's not impossible, but the ingredients were all there and you really shouldn't have messed up something so wonderful. Cutthroat Island is a bad pirate movie.Geena Davis and Matthew Modine (Bodine?) star is this nonsensical pirate action rom com. Few people are less believable as pirates and few pirates are less believable as love interests. But it isn't without joy. There's a musket-loading monkey, a map on a barrel of eels, and the movie ruined its production company. All of which is pretty fun.Sarah Hatheway joins us to discuss the importance of a strong female character and we play a rousing game of King of Bullshit Mountain.

 Cutthroat Island | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 56:16

A bad pirate movie is like a bad pizza: it's not impossible, but the ingredients were all there and you really shouldn't have messed up something so wonderful. Cutthroat Island is a bad pirate movie.Geena Davis and Matthew Modine (Bodine?) star is this nonsensical pirate action rom com. Few people are less believable as pirates and few pirates are less believable as love interests. But it isn't without joy. There's a musket-loading monkey, a map on a barrel of eels, and the movie ruined its production company. All of which is pretty fun.Sarah Hatheway joins us to discuss the importance of a strong female character and we play a rousing game of King of Bullshit Mountain.

 Once Bitten | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 51:09

We know a thing or two about vampire movies. But if each of those other movies had a thing or two in common with Once Bitten, the 1985 Jim Carrey vehicle, we'd like them all more.Carrey plays Mark, an 18-year-old virgin (isn't that funny?) who gets seduced by a vampire who needs virgin-blood the way Chris needs Skittles. She gets her first two drinks but her third one is spoiled by a crazy dance-off. It's exactly as fun as it sounds.This movie is a favorite of Matt and Kseniya, the creators of the 'zine I Love Bad Movies which really should be called We Love Bad Movies but oh well.

 Once Bitten | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 51:09

We know a thing or two about vampire movies. But if each of those other movies had a thing or two in common with Once Bitten, the 1985 Jim Carrey vehicle, we'd like them all more.Carrey plays Mark, an 18-year-old virgin (isn't that funny?) who gets seduced by a vampire who needs virgin-blood the way Chris needs Skittles. She gets her first two drinks but her third one is spoiled by a crazy dance-off. It's exactly as fun as it sounds.This movie is a favorite of Matt and Kseniya, the creators of the 'zine I Love Bad Movies which really should be called We Love Bad Movies but oh well.

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