Read it and Weep show

Read it and Weep

Summary: Read it and Weep is a good podcast about bad books, movies, and TV. Each week 2.5 comedians and a guest make fun of things like Twilight by Stephanie Meyer, Dear John by Nicholas Sparks, Going Rogue by Sarah Palin, and anything Keanu Reeves has been in.

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  • Copyright: Copyright 2021 Completely Legitimate Productions.


 Duck Tales | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 65:46

Remember childhood? That was fun, right? Except the parts that weren't? That's how the 80s cartoon Duck Tales is too.Based on a reformed Scrooge McDuck and his three great nephews Hewis, Lewis, and Dewis, Duck Tales is a classic mass-produced Disney animated show with 60 episodes in each of its two seasons. It's really fun if you have nostalgia-colored glasses.This is the first in our new series of episodes called First Loves where we examine some of our favorite early media. This is Ezra's First Love and you can hear the love in his voice with everything he says.

 The Truth About Charlie | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 54:24

The Truth about Charlie is a remake of the 1963 film Charade mashed up with Francois Truffaut's 1960 film Shoot the Piano Player. If you were guessing that those two movies shouldn't be mashed up, you were right.Truth follows the ex-wife(?) of a murdered spy(?) and her new boyfriend(?) a criminal(?). Really, it's a movie where the audience, the characters, and the film maker were all confused as to what was going on. Starring Mark Wahlberg in a berret.Thanks to Vicente for sponsoring (I hope this movie's been taken down a peg now) and Leighann, our newest Meat Buddy. Welcome to Meat Town, everybody!

 Mockingjay Part 1 (Film) | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 55:27

If you love the Hunger Games, then you must be excited about the final movie! Too bad, because Lionsgate split it in half so you can pay twice as much and get a bunch of filler and an anticlimax! So get ready to half enjoy Mockingjay Part 1In the future, wars will be fought through child-actors on TV making commercials under duress. Sure, there's some shooting here and there but mostly it's just TV. And Catniss, former Hunger Games star, doesn't like being on TV so she hides in a hole the entire movie (which, again, is only half a movie).It's infuriating but it'll work. And good for them. Hollywood's been so put upon in recent years with all their record profits. It must be exhausting.And speaking of profits, thanks a ton to Ken for becoming our newest Meat Buddy! If you want to help keep this zepplin in the water, go to and join the supporters group!

 Mockingjay (The Book) by Suzanne Collins | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 69:45

In the final installment of the Hunger Games trilogy (of books, all movie trilogies are now 15 episodes long), Suzanne Collins brings the revolution in for a landing. But it's a rocky one if you're not a fan of weird politics, dumb leaders, and moping teenagers.Mocking Jay features the climax of the revolution that our hero, Catniss, wasn't really involved in. And she continues to not be a big part in this one where she' basically a mascot for one of two incompetent leaders. The other side is using her ex boyfriend as their mascot and the entire war is fought by proxy with these two child figureheads. The side with giant lizard people and hovercraft loses and everything's fine, if you ignore a bit of PTSD.It's fine, really. And at least it's over and we know the answer to "will they or won't they?" Now there are just a bunch of movies to watch.Thanks to Emily and the Baroness Von Moneybags for becoming our newest Meat Buddies!

 International Live Show! | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 75:38

It's our first ever International Live Show, featuring reviews of two excellent combo movies: Wolf Cop and Teen Witch. Thank you so much to everybody who participated in the chat live with us.Here's the video if you'd like to see our pretty faces:

 The Monster Squad (1987) | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 65:06

Whenever a great evil was unleashed in the 80s, it seemed the only way to stop them was a rag-tag group of children. The Monster Squad is about one such crisis.The squad is a group of kids who are obsessed with the Universal Monsters(tm). Wouldn't you know it, those monsters turn out to be real and the only thing standing between them and world domination would be somebody with an intricate knowledge of their franchises. And a virgin. And a holocaust survivor. That last part is kinda weird.Thanks to Paul for thoroughly researching his favorite childhood movies and settling on this one! It's getting nice and spooky up in here!

 Left Behind (2014) | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 67:52

Left Behind is an inexplicable remake of the 2000 Kirk Cameron stinker, and the latest in a series of Hollywood's half-assed movies for the religious right that feature bumbling atheists learning tough lessons at the hands of intellectually and morally superior evangelicals. Like Christian music, the actual quality of the performance is less important than every single line being about Jesus, and in that, this Left Behind succeeds magnificently.If you're not familiar with the concept, Left Behind imagines a world in which God discovers a manufacturing defect in all of the evangelical Christians (which here represent a far, far higher percentage of humanity than in real life) and magically recalls them all to Heaven, leaving behind piles of neatly folded clothes and a bunch of tense arguments. Moments after all the boring religious people disappear, the entire world falls into chaos! Cars crash, planes fall out of the sky, and every single atheist (and Muslim and Catholic and non-apocalyptic Christian) immediately starts looting. Like the only thing holding us back from stealing TVs is the mere presence of religious nuts. That's pretty much the whole thing. Meet some dumb characters, oh look! a pile of clothes!, looting and havoc, the end.

 BONUS! Big Announcement! | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 5:31

We're going to be doing our first ever International Live Show on October 25th at 1pm PST (4 EST and who knows GMT). We're watching Halloween-themed movies and we need suggestions. Get to voting in the comments!

 Doppleganger (1993) | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 61:14

Drew Barrymore had to break out of her type casting as a child actor who could only do cute movies. After Doppleganger, everybody knew she had range; she could also be in completely insane movies.Doppl follows a woman who killed her parents as she gets in wacky adventures with her new roommate. All the fun comes crashing down when her doctor reveals he's been impersonating her and everybody else using a series of rubber masks and then Barrymore one-ups that be showing she's actually two identical alien worms with sword-hands. Yes, that's a faithful summary of the movie. It's weird.Thanks to Lauren for sponsoring and also for pointing out that members of the cloth (is that what they're called?) also listen to our show!And Portland wishes goodbye to Shane Torres who does a great radio show where he interviews artists about their day jobs.

 Ghost by John Ringo | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 61:08

This is the worst book. It is about a rapist killing people. Did I mention he's a rapist? It's about a rapist.Thank you for sponsoring, Dick. No refunds.

 Short Circuit (1986) | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 63:39

The year is 1986, the problem is the cold war, the solution is a giant talking war robots. It's all well and good until one of those war robots accidentally gains sentience and starts making friends with the locals after a lightning strike causes him to Short Circuit!Like a lot of things, it's flawless if you ignore the racism. Except for Fisher Stevens in brown face, it's a really fun romp through the 80s including optimism about robotics, fear of the military industrial complex, and the love between war robot and a trash compactor.Thanks to Dave from California for sponsoring his annual guilty pleasure!

 Robin Hood (2010) | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 63:58

Everybody knows the story of Robin Hood: a wiley young fox stealing from king lion and a his servant snake to give to the other creatures of the forest. It's a good story and what it didn't need was a dour remake starring Gladiator.But such a thing does exist. It's got all the right pieces, good actors, good director, and a good forest to shoot in. But for some reason the pieces don't come together. It lacks any semblance of fun and replaces much of the action with political speeches.Thanks, Nathan from Durham for sponsoring this episode and setting us out to solve the mystery "How did this go wrong?"

 Veggie Tales | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 67:54

Computer animation in the 90s was so bad, the creators of Veggie Tales opted for vegetables because they were easier to draw than people. The primitive animation also smoothed over all the slavery in the Old Testament.We sat down with Angela Webber, one half of the nerd-folk band The Doubleclicks, to talk about her childhood (and some adulthood) favorite show, Veggie Tales. We watched four episodes:1995 - Are You My Neighbor1995 - Rack, Shack, and Benny1996 - Dave and the Giant Pickle1997 - Josh and the Big WallIt was a great overview of the weird world of singing religious vegetables that will stick with us for a while.

 NCIS | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 64:11

If there's a crime in Baltimore, The Wire will solve it. If there's a crime ripped from the headlines, Law & Order will solve it. If there's a crime involving Germanic animals, Grimm will solve it. But if there's a crime involving a Marine's body falling out of the sky, you need the fine folks at NCIS.N.C.I.S. is the Navy Criminal Investigation Service, a fictional group of super cops who solve military crimes using magic screens and invasion of civil liberties. And nerdy, pacifistic comedian Jackie Kashian has a guilty pleasure for this procedural for some reason. So we discussed police tropes, potential spinoffs, and the finer points of aging heart throbs.

 Vibrations A.K.A. Cyberstorm | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 78:47

If a group of hillbillies steal your hands, don't despair. If you put your mind to it, you won't just make waves, you'll make... Vibrations!That's what happens to TJ, an up and coming musician. But his new raver friends make him new friends and he's better than ever before. Now he's not just a guy, he's a Cyberstorm! Who cares that he treats his whole family like shit? He knows where he belongs because all the world is a rave!If you missed this movie in 1996, don't despair. You can count on us to summarize it for a really long time along with our helpers (and the fine people who brought this movie to our attention) Matt & Kseniya from I Love Bad Movies.


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