Read it and Weep
Summary: Read it and Weep is a good podcast about bad books, movies, and TV. Each week 2.5 comedians and a guest make fun of things like Twilight by Stephanie Meyer, Dear John by Nicholas Sparks, Going Rogue by Sarah Palin, and anything Keanu Reeves has been in.
It's in the name of the month, and it's the first ever James Bond movie. We watched the 1962 film Dr. No! It's got a lot of the elements we love about James Bond (tuxedos, weird card games, bonkers villains) and a lot of the elements we hate about James Bond (sexism, harassing women at work, having sex in front of military personnel).
Welcome to our first-ever Dr No-vember! We're bonding all month over the classic spy who sexually harassed us, starting out with Pierce Brosnan's debut in the 1995 film that revitalized the series, GoldenEye. Yes we talked about the video game too. The movie is interesting for almost recognizing all the problems with the series but then doing nothing about them. Also it's got a really cool tank chase. Mentioned on the show New guest Corina Lucas is on Twitter!
We all know The Rock reaches high heights. but just because you can physically jump all the way from that tower crane to the tower, that doesn't mean you you should. You might land the jump, but be worse for wear afterwards. That's what happens here. It's okay, and it's better than if The Rock wasn't in it, but this #TheRocktober just tipped over at the end.
We talk during the Jumanji 2 episode about how creating a movie from a marketing idea and working backwards is not a great way to make a movie. It worked in that case, but in this one, it seems like they came up with the idea for the tagline, and then really slapped together a movie to fill it out. Whoever came up with the line, "Saving the world takes a little Hart and a big Johnson," deserves a raise. Everybody else on this movie deserves a demerit.
This is what it looks like when you make a movie backwards. You've got a video game franchise. You gotta get the Rock in it. You have to blow up Chicago. Unlike Jumanji, this doesn't 100% work. It's fine. It's got some good parts. There's a giant cartoon monkey. But it's not amazing. Mentioned on the show Thanks to our new Meat Buddy TJ from the DC Area. Drive safe! First time guest Amber Preston is on Instagram and Twitter and is a complete delight!
Everything about this shouldn't work. If you described it to me I'd say it's terrible. But then, basically everything about it works. It's so fun! Happy #TheRocktober, everybody! Mentioned on the show Thanks to our new Meat Buddy Bridget from Baltimore!
Does it hold up? Yes. Yes it does. To close out #Sponstember, we dove into the 80s cult classic of high adventure, true love, and giant rats. It was completely delightful. All we ask is maybe cut back on quoting it. Mentioned on the show Thanks to our sponsor Eion for bringing this joy to our lives and our new Meat Buddy John from the Philippines.
We dipped into another classic series from our youths. You know, the one where you skip to page 49 and find out you died but then you go right back to page 12 because you secretly held the break with your finger and now you're ready to try to other option. To find out if they hold up, we read two books: The Magic of the Unicorn and Prisoner of the Ant People. You can probably tell from the titles which one we really liked and which one we hated.
After 9 years, we've finally broken down and allowed a sponsorship of a video game. And it's a real interesting one. Dream Daddy is in the genre of dating sims, but it's also a very sweet story about raising children, all around an LGBTQ-friendly and pun-heaving packaging. It's fascinating.
Okay, hear me out. Laser, frequent guest and all around radical human, really likes ASMR videos. And they wanted us to watch a bunch so we could share in the joy (?) and weirdness. For those of you who don't hang out on the weird parts of YouTube, ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response, and describes the feeling some people get when they hear certain sounds like whispers and scratches.
Wow. Who'd have thought that an episode about a house that eats unmarried women would turn out to be such a train wreck? We put in a B- effort for this B movie, and never before have I been so worried that somebody would actually want a refund that I of course wouldn't give. Still, just because one guest didn't show up and nobody watched the movie, that doesn't make this sponsorship from one Meat Buddy to another isn't a fun episode. Because it is. It's just that we were as bonkers as this movie.
Well, everything wet must eventually dry out, so it's with a heavy heart that we put a soggy bow on Wet Month once again. We got wet. We stayed wet. We did it. Just like our journey, Ariel goes from being wet all the time to being dry, so what a perfect way to close out the month with Disney's The Little Mermaid. Does it hold up? Is it feminist? Is Curtis too hung over to discuss these finer points? FIND OUT! Recorded live at Helium Comedy Club in Portland, OR.
Look, I know the idea of making a movie based on a board game seems like a bad idea, but what if it was actually a bad idea? It's a bad idea.
One of the wettest professions of all time is piracy, so the Meat Buddies voted for the 1991 Spielberg film Hook. Does it hold up? Does it still bangarang?
Wet month continues with this absolutely bonkers Disney Channel original movie in which a girl and a bubble try to break up a marriage. Thanks Sean and Patty for sponsoring. Get wet, stay wet everybody! Mentioned in this episode: Caitlin wrote on the new show Misfits and Monsters airing on TruTV!