The Lesbian Mafia show

The Lesbian Mafia

Summary: When you spend a lot of time contemplating how funny and unfunny life is. Enter The Lesbian Mafia. Uncensored.````The Lesbian Mafia is a secret society of fun common sense native New Yorkers producing a FREE bi-monthly International Radio Show and Podcast based in NYC.````Rants, fun, foul language, political incorrectness, chaos, seriousness, import, special guests.. but only rarely because we think most celebrities are a-holes. This isn’t NPR b*tches!

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 (81) AUDIO: Eva Longoria Lies About Eating Cheetos On Twitter | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 8:16

New mini-podcast, can you believe it?! Haven't posted in a very long WHILE but had to say something about some of the things we have seen on our Twitter timeline NAMELY Eva Longoria LYING about eating Cheetos! Miss you all terribly and not sure when there will be another podcast but someone had to tackle this tough issue once and for all! Music: Earth Versus the World - The Polish Ambassador  Love to love you, Sandi Eva Longoria's Snacking Tweets: The first one made us FURIOUSLY unfollow her and the second tweet is what made us realize we had to deal with this issue once and for all! Then we went back to her page (because we missed her) and saw she had been shit-whoring for Baskin-Robbins and Frito Lay and said she was in a guacamole and chips coma from going to Beso's restaurant and that she saw the movie Lincoln. She's one of a handful of celebs we do still like but even a tulip like Eva doesn't get a free pass, she needed to be dealt with and made an example because no one wants to see commercials on Twitter!   p                                           She's LYING!   Disclaimer: The word "retarded" was said in this show and it was not done to offend anyone. If you love or know someone, or know someone who knows someone who is mentally disabled, or if you're one of those superior beings who never says anything offensive because you're perfect and more evolved than us, we're sorry, we weren't trying to malign anyone. As we have said before, we have never and would never call someone who has a mental disability retarded BUT in conversation sometimes the word slips out. We love you all. 

 (80) What Are We Talking About? | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 36:50

Ciao, hello! Long time. Ignore the color of the audio player (on the site) it's ugly and needs to be changed. Nicole begins with an audio apology for being a slacker s.o.b so I “audio” answer because these bitches do NOT help me for shit! Let's hope they aren't as LAZY in the sack as they are with NOT EVER helping me with this podcast!!!  It’s just me and Nicole on this one and it gets a little contentious and I do some yelling because the Lesma bishes have been slackin’ too long but it’s all in good fun and we FINALLY got another podcast out for crying in the rain!! Now that they have been shamed publicly maybe we’ll be able to post more regularly? One never knows does one?! This one is a little random and nutbar-ish, there’s a little talk about being Ma, blackberries and Nicole’s refusal to give up her old man phone when she gets a free upgrade, Sarah Palin in the movie Game Change, acupuncture with Dr Li, hospitals and the how much scarier they are when you know what really goes down there, birds, reincarnation, and little closing mono about why wasn't Ricky Eva Peron in Evita? Madonna, exes, the Wizard of Oz and more! Music:  Space - LETTHEMUSICPLAY Download here at Beatport Available on other portals on May 7th.   Never Can Say Goodbye - Gloria Gaynor Download here at Amazon    Yours, Sandi

 (79) Chica Bomb | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 53:10

(Sorry guys, comments are disabled on this post while we work on site issues.) Finally been bullied into posting a new show, it's been forever! Been having some technical issues with the site, PLEASE ignore the hideous colors on the audio player, they're DEFINITELY temporary, but we ARE going to try to post more regularly and if you don't like this one, blame the listeners who finally got us to get it done andpost this one! Longer than usual mono where I talk catalog models, and things. Nicole decides to record while drinking which is the first time anyone on the show has ever been under the influence. We talk horoscopes, the lesbian Bernie Madoff and in case anyone couldn't tell she was drunk she starts off telling me how wonderful I am and it eventually turns to how awful and controlling I am! Then a chat with Lale about love at first sight, her impending visit to NYC and why I've alerted Homeland Security, and why sexual attraction and kissing may be chemistry but does it mean they will be good in the sack? A little bit of a cut in at the end into the middle of a convo we were having about Maria Belforti who we blogged about a while ago and how bishes like Shim think they have power of attorney over God. And P.S. we've got nuthin' against the Buddha-man and not trying to hurt or make anyone feel judged,  just trying in my own inadequate way to make a point about abandoning God because of idiots. Music by Dan Balan - Chica Bomb Amazon: DO check out the Chica Bomb video here, you may like it! You're welcome. =} Love, Sandi Xxo

 (78) Lezbun Sessions | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 42:15

mono is super short and TBFTGOG plays for too long but what are ya gonna do? experimenting on skype with Lale in LA and of course the sound is dreadful. we talk cigs, lesbian repair men, and more!!! Nicole and I chat about her leaving the psych ward gig, coming out at her new one, and other stuff like what to do when you find out that you're not sexually compatible with your partner late in  the relationship. disclaimer: horrified at even the possibility of my nephew being gay because I know exactly what the repercussions are for being gay in my family. Bonus TLM Audio via Twitter: AUDIO: (10/19/2011) Nobody's Bitch Take on OWS - This is just an audio addition to the Tumblr post from earlier today.... Original Tumblr blog re: OWS (10/14/2011) AUDIO: 4 Minute Debate via 7 yo Nephew talk to you soon! yours, sandi

 (77) The We Hate This Show Show But Love You Like Crack Cocaine | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 36:00

We really do hate this particular podcast with a passion. We talk a lot about nothing but feel intensely pressured to post content, even if it's devoid of meaning ... like Julie Chen's every tear. Mostly all of it is recorded on the portable so it's tinny, there's lots of shouting and the sound goes in and out. You know, we like to keep it Hollywood. And while we realize not every song your girlfriend/partner likes is autobiographical, especially if they're a music lover, we're just saying if she is bizarrely obsessed with a song you might want to pay attention to what it's about. If you're a lesbian worth your salt, you've raided her closets when she was in the shower anytime she's done anything even remotely suspicious, but some of you get lazy. We're just saying ... don't sleep on a biatch! Love you more than Crank. Sandi

 (76) Kaleidoscope | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 38:35

Not really sure what's happening here but at listener's requests we tried AGAIN to do a prank and clearly it's not working out. Just can't seem to get thru them like we used to, not sure why. We will try again in the future and hopefully get them right again. After the Gay Girl from Damascus hoax revealed that Lez Get Real "A Gay Girl's View on the World" was yet another hoax, the site is still up, they've accepted zero accountability, and if possible seem even crazier than they already are. They've said they will continue posting their normal stupidity under Lez Get Real "A Gay Girl's View On the World" posing as lesbian women even though the site is run by a heterosexual man who did 2 years probation and community service for domestic violence; a transgender, who is supposedly lesbian transgender, yeah ok, and one of their mother's; that's right, N0 lesbians. These imbeciles, specifically Bridgette LaVictore, has been aggressively cyber stalking us for quite a long time but we didn't put them on blast before we understood the details. Unfortunately, we can't blame all of our stalkership on these locusts as we'd need an academy awards ceremony to host all of them. And re: the opening of course we don't know if anyone really is or isn't an alcoholic, it's best to assume we're probably exaggerating, BUT in some cases we are definitely NOT! Cable news people are drunks! Are lesbians exempt from ever being considered slutty? Not that we don't adore the word Slut amid the right occasion, but really now. What else? Who has a memory longer than a webpage download these days? Can't remember it all, tune in and find out! Listener voicemail from geminichanel is regarding show # 59. A lot of this is recorded on the portable which requires some shouting. Please be forgiving of this situational scenariosis. Disclaimer: neither of us have ever cheated and we think it's gross. And we love you vegetarians too, shaddep! Except for the preachy sanctimonious a-hole types, we just tolerate you. Love you long time. Sandi

 (75) Prank Fails and Jive | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: Unknown

Maybe we've outgrown the pranks, yeah? We tried over and over and over to get through one prank and failed every single time. Tune in and you'll hear how pranks with potential go from bad to worse because of our inability to execute, as me and Nikki pretend to be a couple on the rocks. At 59, Mom spontaneously tells her very first joke ever, from of all places, an ER bed during a medical emergency; conversely, after decades of buffoonery  my trying out some generic one liners like "This place is hotter than a Turkish bathhouse!" even though it really WAS hot as hell in there, all fell completely flat on very busy nurses and doctors. Thank you for all of your well wishes. Mom is coming along while she kills ME in the process! Some chatter with Nikki about Shakira (?), falling Grandparents, Dancing ...God knows what else; And some convo with Lalee about other things, sometimes weird things. A lot of this podcast is recorded on a portable which requires some of the yelling-ish, please forgive. Missed you. Love you long time. -sandi UPDATE: Thank you so much for your emails and voice mails about Mom. We knew from day 3 she would being making an 80-90% recovery. Still lots of work involved but those numbers are very encouraging, which is why I'm not suicidal. She told me she's having an occasional "side effect" of spontaneous laughter, which is hysterical to me. I've had some intense issues with Mom in the past, but she's made up for a lot of it over the years and has come a looooooong way. She loves Buffy, a show I have never watched, and she watches the Logo channel - I don't even watch the Logo channel because I barely watch TV. She's a good hearted woman who doesn't get Aaaaanyones humor, and has her limitations like any of us, but just the same... you only get one Mom. You know. Anyway. Again, thank you for your kind thoughts. -sandi ❤

 (74) Are Women The Inferior Sex? | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: Unknown

20 minute monologue, a message to 2030, crazies, gay male sexist oppressors, tackling the tough questions on woman-haters and why they have no b@lls, Hollywood crap movies, then Lale calls in and we talk Giffords, fire arms and Jersey Shore. blogs referenced Why we have too few women leaders LGBT and Liberal Feminist Hypocrisy Defend Islam While Women are Whipped Music: Hands - Ting Tings Anyway - Armond Van Helden - Duck Sauce

 (73) Karma by Dog Leash | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 23:40

Mark Dadoff; Feminazis who are just as man-hating as misogynists are woman-hating; Liberal Nimbyism; Reactionary righty pundits who play the game and believe w/o bothering to thoroughly examining their beliefs... Mark Madoff, oldest son of Bernie Madoff, hangs himself with dog leash in SoHo apartment Music: All I Want For Christmas Is You - Mariah Carey update: was wrong re: Malkin. knew disparity btwn top 20% & bottom 80% but didn't see the connection btwn top 20% and top 1%. after going over these stats it clears up why ppl in top 20% have same $ ideology as top 1%. 20%ers, they don't even come close to bottom 80%. huge diffs btwn top 1% and top 20% but there still is a rather revealing link. so lib dems in top 20% who feign outrage at Bush Tax extension & somehow still loveypoo their 0bama are full of shit phonies. oh, and they're so benevolent & "caring" ..touting 0bamacare which is NOTHING like the European model & is NOT "Medicare for all." Who Rules America? (stats update Dec 2010)

 (72) Master of Intellectassy | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 28:12

Solo Rant. Lots of yelling. Warning: If you are in love with 0bama DO NOT listen to this show and start whining. Just continue shunning us, we love that. Maybe it was the guy who shot the TV at Bristol Palin over Dancing with the Stars who Twittered TLM last night. He tried to school me and let me know my place. I'm certainly not as smart as he is if I don't recognize what a "MASTER of Intellect and Genius" 0bama is. Interesting choice of words, Master. Surely, I must not be as much of a GENIUS as said Twitterer because I don't senselessly Palin-bash and can have a completely objective conversation about her. In fact, I find people who can't, embarrassing. Certainly Palin is not a even a human being and deserves to be scorned because... well, basically she should just die, of course. Silly me, I should know these intellectually superior things. PS - Recovering from a bad case of bronchitis, please excuse. Music: King of Anything by Sarah Bareilles

 (71) Are We Podfading? | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: Unknown

Understatement of the year: "That really hurt me;" Nona's World War II PTSD poverty complex; Some chatting w/friends re: Liza Minelli; Lez Social Scene; Mr. Softee; Being taken advantage of by one of Giulliani's; Dirty Talk; Your vadge & chlorinated toxins, including dioxin; Sister Louis Marie & more! This one's a little slow moving, it's been a while. P.S. - If you mis-take this intro for "making fun of fat people" and NOT the hilarity of a crazy news piece, you might want to continue listening b4 getting nutty. We have never once made fun of "fat" people...and even if we did...if you can't laugh at yourself then you have NO place listening to THIS show anyway. Take care brush your hair. Be neat brush your teeth.

 (70) What the Hell is Going On? | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 30:44

Miley Cyrus, Tammy & Melissa Lesbalimony, Opinions and what do they really mean?, The Definition of a Lesbian conclusion via Twitter, The Real L Word, Julianne Moore in Kids Are Alright is gonna learn right here and right now that Lesbians are not bisexual. Somebody has to tell us what in the gay hell is going on in the world that some VERY delusional people actually think this is a topic for debate. (update: there were some issues w/ today's podcast post. no one was able to link or comment. it's fixed now. sorry for the trouble)

 (69) The Lesma Files: Snotty and Shitty | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 19:07

More hostility, fights, and internal chaos from The Lesma Files; a random solo anti-soy rant in between spats, so hold on to your nun habits. Truthfully, this is a positively disgusting podcast including potty humor. Don't listen while eating. Enjoy! 8) Disclaimer: Soy is especially toxic for people with Thyroid issues. (some would argue it is the cause) If a person doesn't know they have Thyroid issues, which many don't, because many do not have any outward or obvious symptoms, and woman-specific Thyroid issues are not mandated testing on any regular exams (even if you are dead ringer) hence..... a person's diet including soy could be dangerously toxic for them and they wouldn't know until something very serious developed. The jury is out on whether soy (a hormone btw) is an issue for people who are otherwise healthy. Some swear by it, and some people have also been eating red meat their entire lives and live long healthy lives too. As some people smoke for decades and croak at 99 of natural causes. Just sharing info. If you have control issues about this, see a shrink. Mary Shomon and Jillian Michaels are very public about their Thyroid conditions, and both advise against soy for people with Thyroid issues and neither advocate on it's behalf otherwise, Micheals saying the information available is contradictory. Rastafari despite being vegetarians do not eat soy products at all since they are proscribed as unhealthy according to ital diet. You can see some of this on _________________________________________ The Ploy of Soy Although widely promoted as a health food, hundreds of studies link modern processed soy to malnutrition, digestive problems, thyroid dysfunction, cognitive decline, reproductive disorders, immune system breakdown, and even heart disease and cancer. How could soy be linked to all this disease? Because the soybean contains many naturally occurring toxins. All legumes contain toxins but the problem with soy is that the toxins are found in very high levels and are resistant to the traditional ways of getting rid of them. Long, slow fermentation (as in the traditional production of miso, tempeh and soy sauce) gets rid of the phytic acid and other digestive inhibitors but not the phytoestrogens in soy. Myths About Isoflavones One of the most common myths is that soy estrogens (isoflavones) are beneficial for your health. Isoflavones are the estrogen-like compounds occurring naturally in soy foods. They act as the plant's natural pesticides, causing insects to become sterile. Research has shown that isoflavones can prevent ovulation and stimulate the growth of cancer cells. As little as 38 mg isoflavones per day (less than the amount found in 1 cup of soy milk) can result in hypothyroidism with symptoms of lethargy, constipation, weight gain and fatigue. The isoflavones in soy have been shown to cause reproductive problems, infertility, thyroid disease and liver disease in mice, rats, cheetahs, sturgeon, quail, sheep, pigs and marmoset monkeys. Traditional Versus Modern Soy Foods It is important to distinguish between traditional and modern soy foods. In Asia, traditional soy foods were consumed in small amounts, usually as a fermented condiment. Traditional fermented soy foods include miso, soy sauce, tempeh and natto. Tofu was prepared by a precipitation process that gets rid of some of the anti-nutrients, and tofu was often then fermented. Tofu was usually consumed in small amounts in fish broth, which provided lots of compensating minerals and compounds that support thyroid function. Soymilk underwent a very long preparation process to get rid of anti-nutrients and it was consumed with shrimp or egg yolk, ingredients that helped compensate for the many antinutrients that remained. Mostly a food for the elderly, it was sometimes given to nursing mothers but never to growing children. Problems with Soy Protein Isolate

 (68) EAT ME | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 35:35

Due to the high volume of requests we've posted this recent material that didn't turn into a show, so here are some lazy laying around the house recordings from the portable. March was our 3rd anniversary, thank you very much to those who have donated, and/or purchased apparel, and for tuning in and hanging out with us. We've also received your voice-mails and will incorporate them in to future shows, please be patient it may take a little while but we always love hearing from you! CALL THE LISTENER COMMENT LINE: 206-984-4093 LISTEN TO THE LESBIAN MAFIA ON YOUR TELEPHONE: 651-925-1610

 (67) bell hooks | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 27:20

  Lovers, We are still on a bit of a vacay and hope to return soon. In the meanwhile, we managed to snag part of an interview we heard on WBAI with esteemed author, thinker, teacher, and theorist on feminism, gender, race, class and culture, bell hooks, author of over 20 books. She discuesses parenting, critical thinking, Precious, conflict, the deradicalization of feminist women's studies and black studies, women's health and self-care. First, there is a  relatable funny opening by Gina McCaully from the What About Our Daughters blog. Enjoy! Talk at you soon! Hugs, -s


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